Duties Of Ideal Husband

Duties Of The Husband
The word husband comes from some Anglo-Saxon words which means ‘‘house band’’. This implies a stripe of metal (a rope) used to bind the house together. A husband therefore binds together the home in terms of its organization and control.
Headship Of The Family

1. Headship connotes:
   1. Authority: in bringing up children
   2. Leadership; in providing direction and guidance
   3. Responsibility: decision-making; don’t shirk it so that you can blame someone else when things backfires

The man must rule his home spiritually, financially and socially. He should not be like Adam who shifted blames on his wife Eve when God asked him about their present spiritual state in the garden.
2.  Love. The husband is not only the head of his home, but should exercise love. Should show love to his wife. From the scripture we shall see ways he will show love to his wife.(Eph. 5:25-29)

1.        The husband should give his wife his best, sacrificially (verse 25)
2.        Present her back to himself (verse 27)
3.        He should nourish and cherish her(with the word of God and physical things)

 3. Make Her Feel happily At home – ECCL.5:18; PROV 5:18

1.     Let her feel accepted and special
2.    Stay at home as often as possible and provide companionship
3.    Do not be hash on her Col 3:19
4.    Listen to her a lot and encourage her talk
5.   Let her feel important with you- especially in public (speak about her positively)Be tolerant because she is the weaker
6. Protect And Care For Her
7. Protect her from the strain of hard work
8. Protect her from the attack of relatives (she is more susceptible to attacks e.g. spiritually, psychologically and emotionally)Help to organize her life –timetable, planning and pursuit of great career etc
9. Work Hard To Provide For The Needs Of The Family (1Tim.5:8)

4. The husband must provide the following needs:
1. Spiritual needs: the word of God, prayer, church service attendance
2. Physical needs: Food, clothing, accommodation, education etc
3. The husband must understand his wife’s sexual needs.
4. Provide For Her Sexually

Duties Of Ideal Wife

Eve was created to be Adam’s HELPMEET. Therefore, whatever the woman does, her motive must be to help, protect, motivate, uplift and promote her husband.
Here we are to see the duties of the wife to her husband:
I. Love Her Husband. Some women do not love the men they marry. The reasons for this may include the following:

1. She married him because of material benefits she wanted to acquire
2. She might have been growing old so she accepted the marriage as a desperate measure
3. She might have gotten herself pregnant be accident

If any of these negative reasons was what drove you to marry, you can ask God for forgiveness and pray for the grace to do what his word teaches you to do as a Christian spouse. It is very important for a wife to love her husband otherwise it will be very difficult to perform the marital responsibilities of submission, sex etc (Titus 2:4)
II. Submit To Your Husband  (Eph 5:22-23)
The word submission means to give up, give in surrender, yield, succumb, and acknowledge defeat, humble oneself etc.

1. A wife should not be autocratic, or erratic in her actions.
2. The man has a mission in the family while the woman has a sub-mission.
3. She should not insist on rights. She should not be obstinate and stubborn
4. She is not independent, and should not act as one.
5. She should be able to chat with her husband when he is quiet, encourage him when he is down
6. She should not disrespect her husband both in private and in public
7. She should not be a nagger in words and expression (Prov.21:19
8. Not a talkative.
9. A man is a king in his household or he is nothing at all
10. Reverence And Honour him (1Pet. 3:1-6)

III. Keeping and managing the home involves:

6. Preparations and feeding of the family
7. Managing of the family food money
8. Keeping at home when necessary
9. Must be a hardworking and not a demanding waste pipe (prov 31
10. Must give affection service to: husband, children, maids, relatives and neighbours
11. She must be ready to take care of all her visitors to their family. Furthermore, she must be willing to share with members of the extended families of both parties. She should not scare away people by selfishness or stinginess.
12. She must take care of her body in order to remain attractive and wholesome to her husband.
13. She must keep her home and environment clean
14. She must not only appear beautiful and attractive outside but must be same inside.
15. Beautification And Adornment  (1Pet3:3-4; Songs of Solomon 4:1-7;Prov 31:22-24

IV. MUST SATISFY YOUR HUSBAND SEXUALLY ((1Cor.7:1-5;1Tim.2:9-10;Pro.%;16-23;Deu 24:5))
Every wife has a God given duty to satisfy needs of her husband. Usually, the need to have sex is greater for a man than for a woman, and many wives find their husbands’ persistent advances for sex a bother. A wife should know and understand that if she does not take care of her husband’s sexual needs, she may push him to seek fulfillment elsewhere and this will lead to a lot of heartaches and pain. It is therefore in her interest to satisfy him sexually whenever he demands it. Sexual relationship between husband and wife is for:

1. Procreation(gen 1:28)
2. Prevention of sin of adultery (1Cor 7:1-2)
3. For pleasure (Gen 18:12)

Ideal couples And Financial Management

1. Open a current or savings account. Most people will open the accounts in both names, but this can lead to problems later. If you are managing the finances and your spouse decides he needs more funds than he has, you could end up getting overdrawn, because you both are trying to use the same money.

2.  Set up a budget. Figure the amount of money you have coming in each month and the amount that is going out. This will give you the amount that you have to spend each month. In your budget the followings are inclusive:
i. God first (first and best fruits(Tithes), offerings)
ii. Buying food in bulk saves money and reduces financial stress.
iii. Allow money for your immediate needs. Make sure you provide spending money for you and your spouse. You will need lunch money and other miscellaneous expenses that you have every day.
iv.Save to spend money. If you are planning on buying a house or having a family, you will want to put money aside for these things. The best way is to put an amount into your monthly budget to plan for the things you want.
v. Figure out what money you have after you have completed the above steps. From this, you can decide what your priorities are. Speak with your spouse--he should have input on this so he doesn't feel as if he has lost all control of the family finances--this can avoid fights later.
vi. Divide your categories. Some spending is absolutely necessary such as rent and utilities. (Called non-discretionary spending) and others are things that we buy but don't absolutely have to do so (Discretionary spending). Make two columns on a piece of paper and write down your costs dividing them into the 2 types of spending. You could call these Necessities and Wants.
vii. Pay Yourself.Whether you are doing well or struggling financially, find a way to save on a regular basis. Add a small amount of savings to your Necessities costs and never touch it unless you are on the verge of being thrown out onto the street! We all need a cushion for unexpected emergencies, not to mention wanting to go on well-earned vacations. Don't go into debt, save for what you want!
viii.  A Change in Thinking and Lifestyle
This article is really about changing the way you approach money both in your thinking and actions. Don't fall in love with money or the things it can buy you. They can't buy you happiness. Eliminating debt and having money are tools to give you one of the most important things in life: Freedom!
3. Attitude to money in home.
A. Discuss money openly. Aim at transparency/openness in everything, especially in money matters.
B. Avoid selfishness
C. Note that you (both0 are only stewards of God’s money
D.  Spend it according to God’s wishes
E. You are accountable to him
4.   Understanding financial Headship
Headship in the home extents to finances as well. Therefore, no matter who earns more, the man must rule the finances of the home with wisdom and fairness. He must have a clear vision or foresight for the home to better the lot of the family, for instance, a Plan to own a house someday.
1. As a financial head, he must avoid stinginess, meanness, and irresponsibility.
2.  Avoid lack of Money
Lack of money should not be a permanent situation in the family. Problems associated with lack of money are: tension, quarrels, misunderstanding, mistrust, suspiciousness infidelity, etc.
Husband should try as much as possible to ensure that money does not lack at home.subsequently, where the husband has tried his possible best to put food on the table, and he couldn’t because of some circumstances, his wife should not fold her hands and allow hunger destroy her family.
5.  Know the Dangers of Covetousness.
Covetousness arises when husband/wife compare their property or children with those of others. It leads to:

1. Dissatisfaction in the wife/husband
2. Unreasonable demands being made
3. Murmuring
4. Misspending
5. .Borrowing to maintain a certain lifestyle

Temperaments And Marriage - Sanguine Husband

Temperaments are the inbuilt characters of a person that cannot be changed, but can be controlled by the Holy Spirit. In marriage, couples need to study the temperaments of each other, for that is the only way they can cope during trying periods. In temperament, we have weaknesses and strengths.
Weaknesses are that characters that when you display make your spouse wonder whether you are a  christian.While strengths are your good characters. Today you are going to learn about the weaknesses and strengths of a sanguine husband.
      I. The Strengths of A Sanguine Husband.
A sanguine husband believes in looking good all the time. He is emotionally warm, friendly and sympathetic to the tears of his friends.He does not like sad or gloomy moments. Life to him is fun, so he loves staying out doors with friends, eating and drinking.
When offended, he quickly tells you what you did to him was wrong. And immediately he pours out his mind that ends all the quarrels. He has no time for grudges. He is expressive in public- in storytelling conversations, exaggerations and actions. Because he is a gifted orator, everybody likes hearing him speak. In fact, he is good in talking people into joining or buying his products. If filled with the Holy Spirit, and has a call, he will be a great evangelist.
He loves his wife and children dearly, and can do anything to make them happy.
II. The Weakness of A Sanguine Husband
The sanguine husband has the following weaknesses: He lacks discipline in all he does. He hardly concentrates on his studies, prayers, and church activities.He talks more than women. He gossips, and backbites. He speaks people out of their duty posts.
He exaggerates whenever he is speaking, just to motivate his listeners to believe his story. He is hot tempered. He is easily irritated whenever people want to take him for granted.
He is prone to unfaithfulness- to time, appointments and promises. It’s so because he is weak-willed when faced with great challenges. (Jon.21:3)
He spends whatever he earns anyhow. He is unconstrained and usually overspends.  Spirituality. He is carnal and fleshly. Lives women, food and wine.(Rom.8:6-7)
He is untidy- throwing things about. His house is always not swept, cloths and plates, unwashed etc.
He loses interest easily. He may enter and leave a relationship easily. He can be unfaithful to his wife by following other women who are more attractive, cheerful and sexually active than his wife.(2 Sam.11:2-5)
As a sanguine husband, you need the infilling of the Holy Spirit to bring out the best in your temperaments. There is no excuse to the expression of your weaknesses. God expects you to overcome your weaknesses (Rom.8:11, 13)

Temperaments And Marriage -Sanguine

Temperament, in simple terms, is the inborn part of man that determines how he reacts to people, places and things. We have four temperaments (Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholic and Phlegmatic). Our study today shall be dealing on the Weaknesses and strengths of a sanguine wife.
      I. The Strengths of A Sanguine Wife.
She is adorable and popular. Always being elected as a spoke person in any occasion. She is the easiest personality to spot in a crowd- she talks a great deal, usually laughs loudly, and has many gestures, like waving her arms in the air. She can talk for hours on a topic she has little or not much information about.
She is good at networking/marketing- she knows virtually everyone. She is a good motivator of people, ready to convince people to do things they wouldn’t normally do on their own. She doesn’t hold grudges when her feelings are hurt. Always ready to apologize when she does something wrong.
She likes throwing parties and attending them. At the party all actions revolves around her. She accepts the fact that everybody has faults and makes mistake. She has no desire to judge others and this attitude makes her popular.
She lives by principle of acceptance- her slogan is ‘‘live and let live’’. She doesn’t spend her time thinking about what is wrong with people she meets. She rather focuses on what is right about people and about life. She is creative. She is a creative dresser and likes new hairstyles and colours. Her creativity may extend to baking, decoration, and entertaining.
she has a seemingly childlike faith and trust in human beings- believing the best about her husband and others She loves her husband dearly, and can do anything to make him happy. She is very good at bed. In fact her husband must be ready to satisfy her at all times.
II.    The Weakness of A Sanguine Wife.
A sanguine wife is talkative. She often wonders why everyone else is quiet all the time. Because she doesn’t pay attention to details she may say the wrong things and embarrass those close to her. She tends to exaggerate for effect and therefore is seen as not telling the truth.
Permissive. She may allow her children to behave anyhow and may not take danger signs in marriage and life in general seriously.She is forgetful and unreliable. She does not remember appointments and schedules. Also often get excited about role but is not around for the implementations.
She fusses and complains when she has to work a little. She doesn’t like to work. She loves fun all through.A  messy Housekeeper. She never seems to know where anything is because of her unsteadiness.
Happiness in marriage is greatly dependent on how well each spouse understands their partner's temperament and how willing they are to meet their partner's temperament needs.

What To Do When Your Spouse Is Sick

The only time you need to show love to your spouse is during sickness. The possibility for your relationship to change with an illness is there. To some couples, during illness Is the time to stay late at night, to only come back when the sick one has almost being exhausted, fainted, because of hunger. But sure I got a lot of information for you, on what to do to keep the love flowing.
Have a Positive Attitude About The Sickness
See in your mind's eye someone telling you that your spouse has 90 percent chance of getting better. Does that sound good?  Of course it does. It's always worthwhile to think positively. In fact, experts in psychology say that ‘a positive attitude enhances your immune system and will actually increase your chances of a full recovery’
so when you have positive mindset, toward your sick spouse it will create positive reaction. your sick spouse will have faith that soon the sickness will be over.
The time of illness is the time two of you have to keep the channels of communication open more than ever. Remember to do the following:
Let you partner know you want to be alone. Discuss this to your spouse kindly. The reason for this information is to avoid disturbance when you want to be alone.
Try your best to always give each other your full attention. A sick person needs attention more than anything, so provide time for that.
If you are feeling scared and fearful as a result of your spouse’s condition, share it with your spouse. As much as you might want to push him or her away, try as hard as you can to draw him or her closer to you.
Give your spouse the chance to support you. Don’t see it that his/her presence is a disturbance. Physical contact is healing and creates closeness. Hug each other often.
Love your spouse. During this critical time, you need to show love to your spouse; the reason is that it makes the relationship strong. Instead of trying to regret or complain, why not say “I love you”
Have fun Together.
Since you might not be able to go to a movie or out to dinner or to some important places of fun, yet you can still have fun together by setting out time to be alone at home without any interruptions. There are many things that you can do to have fun, even if you don't have much energy. Here are some things to try:
Tell story that will build hope. The best is bible stories that talk about those that put their face in God and how they received their healing.
Draw some colorful pictures together.
Watch an interesting movie together
Read a book to each other.
By the time you follow these principles, your sick spouse will not only appreciate you, but will be relieved of some unwanted tension whether you will abandon the house and run away.

How To Fix Relationship Problems Before It Is Too Late

Keeping your relationship on an even keel takes work and if you think you need help with relationship problems you and your partner have to resolve the issues together.Don't leave it too late to sort out a problem because the longer it goes on, the more difficult they become to sort out.
A relationship means having a connection and a partnership with somebody. Most relationships begin well, full of love and devotion. However, over time sometimes the love and devotion can fade and you're left confused. You think that you did nothing wrong and don't take any responsibility. Or, you may blame yourself totally and recognize that you need relationship help.
It's never too late to salvage a relationship if both parties are willing to work together as a team. Here are 5 steps to follow that help with relationship problems.
1. Commitment.
Both you and your partner must be committed to working on ways to repair your relationship. Commitment can sound very scary and many people run from the thought of it. But, if your relationship is to succeed, you both must be committed to the same values and goals.
2. Acknowledge the Problem.
You must recognize why you need relationship help and get the problems out in the open. Usually, both are to blame for not fulfilling each other's needs. You might discover you never knew what those needs were because you fail to share. Sharing is bonding. In order to share you must communicate and learn about each other's feelings and needs. Both of you could be hurting and the other not know.
3. Neither Is To Blame.
When you need relationship help, neither of you may be to blame. This is why communication and sharing are so important. As you talk about your feelings be rational, reasonable and calm. No one wins an argument or a discussion by getting angry. You are two different people with different views and perspectives. Likely there is no right or wrong here, just differences. Being different doesn't mean you cannot help with relationship problems. The differences could be what brought you together in the first place.
4. Respect The Differences.
The basic needs of a relationship are to respect those differences and find mutual understanding. Show an interest in your partner's hobbies and interests and find some time to get involved so you can experience it together. You may discover that you enjoy it and want to do it again.
5. What Is Right And What Is Wrong?
Talking about what is right as well as what is wrong is part of the approach to help with relationship problems. Let go of resentment and guilt over emotional baggage from the past. If your partner has done something that you think you cannot forgive, just know someone else can and will carry on where you let the good thing go. Take your time but agree to forgive and forget over time.

How To Choose Your Life Partner

In the first place I want you to realize that marriage is a gift from God almighty. Again it is meant for the matured only. When I mean the matured am not talking only about age, but maturity of the mind. When you feel you are ready for marriage the next question is how do I choose the right partner that will really be a blessing to me? Here in this article am going to help you on key principles that will help you discover you dream partner.
1. Pray to God to guild you in choosing the right person. Many will disagree with me on this. But the truth remains that God who knows each and everyone of us knows who will actually be a suitable partner to you. If you tell him to guide you, of course He will. He said in all our ways we should acknowledge Him and He will direct our steps.
2. Write on A paper the kind of person You want to marry. This will help you both in your prayers and  in your relationship. When you are looking for a life partner you have to be open or receptive to everyone that comes your way. I mean those who want to be your friends. There is nothing wrong having many friends when you are out to select the right person.This is where your list plays a major role. Among those who are your friends, go through your list to know those who match the qualities of the kind of person you want as a life partner. Select the nearest to the  quality. Because you may not get 100% of the person on your list,  the man or woman that is 75% should be selected. Remember prayer still has to be going on during the selection so that you don't make mistake.
3. Make your proposal. Of course this is the duty of a man. But if you are a woman yet there other ways to make him know you are interested without  being stupid. You can be interested in things he is interested about. Make some good compliments to his shirts, tie or job, anything to get his attention to you. Caution! please don't seduce him. Don't try to get him sleep with you. Be disciplined as a woman of great quality. still prayer is very important here too, for God to open his eyes to see you.
4. Accept each other. Once both of you discovered you are for each other the next thing is to accept to get married. You as the man should start planning to see her people. Once you see her people begin the marriage plans. Fix a date for the marriage rites according to the customs of her people. Pay the dowry, and she becomes your life. 5. Live Happily With Your Spouse. After you have married you have to live happily with your spouse. Marriage is meant for enjoyment not for struggle and fighting. With these principles you can find a partner that suites you.

Solving The Problem Of Infidelity In Marriage

What is infidelity? It is the ability of not been faithful to your spouse. When a man goes outside his matrimonial home to have affair with another woman he is unfaithful, likewise a woman. Many marriages an at the verge of collapse because of the evil called infidelity. Now if we don't take proper measure to stop infidelity marriage that supposed to be a blessing will end up becoming a curse.
How are we going to solve the problem of infidelity in marriage? The answer to this question will be our focus in this article.
1. Purity of Heart. The first thing that will help solve the problem of infidelity in marriage is the purity of heart. A pure heart will not always think of making love with another woman or a man. Renew your thought by thinking right. Think about the love you have with your spouse, the shame and trauma that your act will cause in your marriage.
2. Avoid Close Contact With The Woman or Man. A man said that the closer you are with a woman or a man the weaker you become. There are many ways you can be close to a man  that if care is not taken, will lead to infidelity. One of it is physical contact- seeing each other all the time. Am not saying you should live an isolated life. Of course it impossible to live here on earth without socializing, but the point am making is that if you want to save your marriage, mind the closeness with another partner. Another way to be close which is the most dangerous of all is closeness through phone or internet. Today technology has made it easy to be in deep relationship with a strange woman or man to the detriment of our marriages.  For example, a man engaged in many hours conversation with a woman who is not his wife discussing love issues. Others engage in chatting. Some women keep awake chatting with men. And it's not that they are discussing about things that can lift up the spirit.They talk about sex. Some even take pictures of their nude bodies and send to their partners. Tell me why won't you be unfaithful doing so? So be careful in any conversation with opposite sex. for those who are out to seduce you deliberately avoid their calls or chat.
3. Cherish Your Partner. Cherish you partner. If actually he is your wife/husband love and cherish each other. Spend quality time together. Don't allow communication gap in your relationship because that is where the enemy will come in. If your partner does what you don't like, call him/her to order. Talk about it and find lasting solution to the problem. Try to satisfy your eyes and mind in the beauty of your partner. How do I mean. The way you admire other women or men admire your spouse. That can only be possible when both of you are together. kissing and romancing each other.
4. Tell each other Your areas of Temptation. let me tell you my story. last year my wife traveled and I was alone. And being an online man, I was chatting with some my facebook friends. So a woman opened up a chat, and began taking about sex. That she would want me to satisfy her sexually. I pretended as if I was interested to get to know what she was up to. When I realized she meant it I had to tell her that I wouldn't do such a thing like that.When my wife came back I told her everything that went when she was away. With that I have saved myself further temptation.
5. Pray For The Help Of God To be faithful.  Prayer remains the only secret that helps us over come temptation. For no man or woman is above falling. In fact the higher you grow spiritually the greater the temptation. So watch and pray so that you don't fall into temptation. To do that create time either in the morning or night to call upon God for help.
6. Avoid Blame When Your Partner falls away. When by mistake your spouse falls into the sin of adultery, what should be your action? Throw her away, leave the house for him and walk away? No, doing so will never end infidelity, but will rather aggravate it. What I want you to do is, try to put aside blames and criticism, and put on the garment of love and tolerance. Knowing that we stand only by the grace of God, forgiveness is the only option in a time like this. Infidelity can be overcome if only you will apply these principles.

Four Things That Will Make Your Marriage Work

Mutual respect

As unromantic as it sounds, having mutual respect for each other will be a huge benefit to your relationship. This means never taking each other for granted or simply expecting certain things of each other without asking or having a discussion around roles. For example, how would you feel if your husband automatically expected you to know where his clean shirts were or assumed that all of the household chores were your domain and your domain only? A good relationship relies on teamwork and sharing responsibilities equally – not leaving one person in charge of everything. Having mutual respect means appreciating each other and showing that appreciation by saying thank you when your partner does something nice for you.

Acceptance

There are no two ways about it; you must accept the man you have married. There is slim to no chance that once you have him settled into a home with a garden and white picket fence that he will transform magically into the prince you've always wanted. A frog is a frog no matter how you dress him up, so if you want your marriage to work, acceptance is key. If you married him, you need to love him for who he is now – not who you hope he will become. Marry for love and nothing more or you run the risk of disappointment down the road, not to mention unnecessary arguments and potential heartache.

Common courtesy

It may seem overly simplistic but remembering to extend small common courtesies to your spouse such as saying please and thank you, calling or sending a text message when you're going to be late, offering to make dinner when the other person is super-stressed, etc. will go a long way in making your marriage work. No one likes to feel under appreciated (or worse, not appreciated at all), so if you both make a point to show appreciation towards each other, it will be much easier to keep your relationship healthy and minimize potential resentment. Resentment often starts when one person feels they pull more weight than the other or that what they do goes unnoticed. Be nicer to each other to avoid this trap.

Compromise

This is probably the most important healthy marriage must-do on our list and something that should be taken very seriously. We all want to be right (it just feels good sometimes), but always needing to have the last word and turn every argument into a full-blown fight can really wear on the relationship. Compromise means coming to a mutually agreeable solution – something you can both live with. You may still think you're right and he's wrong, but it can often be better to try and merge your ideas until you hit on something that satisfies both of you, rather than one of you feeling slighted or angry.