Is you marriage in trouble? Do you want to save your marriage? Then you are on the right track by clicking on this article and reading it. As they say, there is no such thing as a coincidence and the fact that you are reading this article right now may have some significance. First of all, you must congratulate yourself from wanting to save your marriage. That only means that you have taken the first important step in salvaging a relationship. Give yourself a pat on the back. Of course it is not right to stop right there. Take the other steps. If you don't know what they are then this article will be a big help for you.
Next Step: Find the Problem. Now that you have acknowledged that there is a problem in your relationship then the next logical step is to determine what the problem is. Every troubled marriage has a root cause and that is what you should find. One of the best places to look for clues are your differences, the differences that come up every time you and your spouse argue with each other. There must be an underlying theme to all your fights. Once you recall what it is, then you already know the main problem in your relationship. Then it is time to move on to the next step.
Next Step: Fix the Problem. OK, to fix the problem is easier said than done. Sometimes though, the solutions to our problems are right under your noses. The reason why many couples are not taking the necessary steps to solve their marital problems is because either they are too lazy or too scared to do so. Implementing solutions require effort and most human being avoid exerting effort. If only people would be able to fight off the emotional inertia that is stopping them from trying out the solutions to solve their problems then there would be significantly less divorce cases all over the world.
Final Step: The Follow Up. If you were successful in bringing life back to your marriage do not think for a moment that the work is done. In fact, you have only just began. You must stand vigilant never to allow small problem to become big issue. Failure to do this may result in another break up in the future. If you want to save your marriage, then you will be willing to work on it every single day.
If you want to save your marriage then remember these steps.
It is a fact that marital problems and divorces have become quite common in recent years. What people fail to take account are the number of couples that were able to fix their marriages and are now living happy lives together. If you are currently having problems with your own marriage, do not lose hope.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
How to Know If Your Marriage is Not Working by leslie Cane
I often have people ask me how to tell or know for sure if their marriage isn't working or is in trouble. I've even had people ask me to develop a quiz for them to take to determine whether their marriage is working or not. But, I find that the people who are asking this question really don't need any quiz and really do know in their hearts that something is wrong. If they didn't, they wouldn't be on the Internet researching this topic. Because honestly, people in healthy marriages don't research marriages that aren't working. Something must be behind this concern and this research. I believe that people often do know the truth, but they want a third party to confirm what they already know. So, in the following article, I will list some signs of marriages that just aren't working so that you can compare yours and see if any of these descriptions ring any bells.
You Notice Or Feel A Lack Of Intimacy (Either Physical Or Emotional): Often the first thing to go in a troubled marriage is physical intimacy or sex. And often people will have all sorts of justifications for this, like: "we don't have as much time because of the kids," or "we aren't as young anymore," or "sex is not as important in our relationship as it used to be."
All of these may well be valid arguments and they may be absolutely true. But, the physical part of your marriage is absolutely indicative of the emotional part. If something is wrong in the bedroom, then it's generally true that something is wrong somewhere else. The emotional connection is lacking and is manifesting itself physically. Married couples who are very closely bonded and firing on all cylinders want to express these feelings physically and they often will simply find the time. I often answer folks who tell me that they are too busy for sex how much time they find for other priorities in their lives. Because these same folks often find the time for a manicure, round of golf, or other activities that they are simply putting first.
You No Longer Have Anything "Real" To Talk About. You May Feel You Have Nothing In Common Anymore: People who write to me and ask whether their marriage is in trouble or not will often tell me that the two of them "don't really talk anymore." Often, they'll find that when they are alone together, the conversation lags or they find themselves only talking about the kids or the shared business or household. Often though, they can often remember a time (when they were first dating or married) that they used to burn up the phone lines and talk for hours, but those days are long gone.
I often hear phrases like "it's like we've run out of things to say," or "we have absolutely nothing in common anymore," and "he tunes me out;" or "she bores me to tears;" or "her nagging sounds just like my mother's and it grates on me horribly."
Truthfully, all of these are a symptom of the disconnect that I discussed earlier. People often feel that they, or their partner, have "changed." I almost never buy this. Sure, people can change their priorities, their outlook, and their perceptions, but I almost never buy that someone changes the core of who they are or changes so drastically as to be so different that they no longer resemble their former selves.
What has happened instead is that it's the circumstances, not the people, who have changed. Children and jobs make your priorities and the allocation of your time different and this in turn brings about a different outcome in your marriage, but this does not mean that your partner (or even you) have changed who you were.
You're Fighting About The Same Old Things And Can Never More Past It: One of the more easy to recognize signs that a marriage is just not working is that the two of you seem to always be having the same old fight because you are never able to resolve the biggest issues in your marriage once and for all.
People who have close and happy marriages are able to navigate and solve their martial problems pretty definitively so that the resentment and anger do not have too long to fester and to continue manifesting themselves to cause more damage. This doesn't mean that they don't have to "work" at their marriage. They do, but they are able to keep things in perspective and to work together to get through them for good rather than holding back or continuing to bring up the old, damaging issues that couples in crisis can not seem to move past.
The Laughter And Fun Is Gone: You may be rereading what I just wrote or think that I've lost my mind, but truly happy families and households place humor and having fun together as a very high priority. If you notice couples who are newlyweds or newly in love and you watch them for any length of time you will see a lot of flirting and laughing going on because they enjoy being together, they bring out the best in each other, and people who are happy in their relationships have a lot to smile about. What's the point really if you aren't enjoying yourself and having fun?
If you can't deny that your household has become sullen, take a look at how many fun or lighthearted activities you and your spouse are engaging in. Because people whose marriages are in trouble will often avoid these kinds of activities because they have become awkward and the payoff just isn't there anymore.
If you've seen any of these "warning signs," this doesn't mean that you're one step away from divorce or that these problems can not be fixed. It just means that your marriage could use some definite improvement and it certainly doesn't make any sense to wait to address this. Admitting that their is room for change is the first step toward making things right.
You Notice Or Feel A Lack Of Intimacy (Either Physical Or Emotional): Often the first thing to go in a troubled marriage is physical intimacy or sex. And often people will have all sorts of justifications for this, like: "we don't have as much time because of the kids," or "we aren't as young anymore," or "sex is not as important in our relationship as it used to be."
All of these may well be valid arguments and they may be absolutely true. But, the physical part of your marriage is absolutely indicative of the emotional part. If something is wrong in the bedroom, then it's generally true that something is wrong somewhere else. The emotional connection is lacking and is manifesting itself physically. Married couples who are very closely bonded and firing on all cylinders want to express these feelings physically and they often will simply find the time. I often answer folks who tell me that they are too busy for sex how much time they find for other priorities in their lives. Because these same folks often find the time for a manicure, round of golf, or other activities that they are simply putting first.
You No Longer Have Anything "Real" To Talk About. You May Feel You Have Nothing In Common Anymore: People who write to me and ask whether their marriage is in trouble or not will often tell me that the two of them "don't really talk anymore." Often, they'll find that when they are alone together, the conversation lags or they find themselves only talking about the kids or the shared business or household. Often though, they can often remember a time (when they were first dating or married) that they used to burn up the phone lines and talk for hours, but those days are long gone.
I often hear phrases like "it's like we've run out of things to say," or "we have absolutely nothing in common anymore," and "he tunes me out;" or "she bores me to tears;" or "her nagging sounds just like my mother's and it grates on me horribly."
Truthfully, all of these are a symptom of the disconnect that I discussed earlier. People often feel that they, or their partner, have "changed." I almost never buy this. Sure, people can change their priorities, their outlook, and their perceptions, but I almost never buy that someone changes the core of who they are or changes so drastically as to be so different that they no longer resemble their former selves.
What has happened instead is that it's the circumstances, not the people, who have changed. Children and jobs make your priorities and the allocation of your time different and this in turn brings about a different outcome in your marriage, but this does not mean that your partner (or even you) have changed who you were.
You're Fighting About The Same Old Things And Can Never More Past It: One of the more easy to recognize signs that a marriage is just not working is that the two of you seem to always be having the same old fight because you are never able to resolve the biggest issues in your marriage once and for all.
People who have close and happy marriages are able to navigate and solve their martial problems pretty definitively so that the resentment and anger do not have too long to fester and to continue manifesting themselves to cause more damage. This doesn't mean that they don't have to "work" at their marriage. They do, but they are able to keep things in perspective and to work together to get through them for good rather than holding back or continuing to bring up the old, damaging issues that couples in crisis can not seem to move past.
The Laughter And Fun Is Gone: You may be rereading what I just wrote or think that I've lost my mind, but truly happy families and households place humor and having fun together as a very high priority. If you notice couples who are newlyweds or newly in love and you watch them for any length of time you will see a lot of flirting and laughing going on because they enjoy being together, they bring out the best in each other, and people who are happy in their relationships have a lot to smile about. What's the point really if you aren't enjoying yourself and having fun?
If you can't deny that your household has become sullen, take a look at how many fun or lighthearted activities you and your spouse are engaging in. Because people whose marriages are in trouble will often avoid these kinds of activities because they have become awkward and the payoff just isn't there anymore.
If you've seen any of these "warning signs," this doesn't mean that you're one step away from divorce or that these problems can not be fixed. It just means that your marriage could use some definite improvement and it certainly doesn't make any sense to wait to address this. Admitting that their is room for change is the first step toward making things right.
How to Know If Your Marriage is Not Working by leslie Cane
I often have people ask me how to tell or know for sure if their marriage isn't working or is in trouble. I've even had people ask me to develop a quiz for them to take to determine whether their marriage is working or not. But, I find that the people who are asking this question really don't need any quiz and really do know in their hearts that something is wrong. If they didn't, they wouldn't be on the Internet researching this topic. Because honestly, people in healthy marriages don't research marriages that aren't working. Something must be behind this concern and this research. I believe that people often do know the truth, but they want a third party to confirm what they already know. So, in the following article, I will list some signs of marriages that just aren't working so that you can compare yours and see if any of these descriptions ring any bells.
You Notice Or Feel A Lack Of Intimacy (Either Physical Or Emotional): Often the first thing to go in a troubled marriage is physical intimacy or sex. And often people will have all sorts of justifications for this, like: "we don't have as much time because of the kids," or "we aren't as young anymore," or "sex is not as important in our relationship as it used to be."
All of these may well be valid arguments and they may be absolutely true. But, the physical part of your marriage is absolutely indicative of the emotional part. If something is wrong in the bedroom, then it's generally true that something is wrong somewhere else. The emotional connection is lacking and is manifesting itself physically. Married couples who are very closely bonded and firing on all cylinders want to express these feelings physically and they often will simply find the time. I often answer folks who tell me that they are too busy for sex how much time they find for other priorities in their lives. Because these same folks often find the time for a manicure, round of golf, or other activities that they are simply putting first.
You No Longer Have Anything "Real" To Talk About. You May Feel You Have Nothing In Common Anymore: People who write to me and ask whether their marriage is in trouble or not will often tell me that the two of them "don't really talk anymore." Often, they'll find that when they are alone together, the conversation lags or they find themselves only talking about the kids or the shared business or household. Often though, they can often remember a time (when they were first dating or married) that they used to burn up the phone lines and talk for hours, but those days are long gone.
I often hear phrases like "it's like we've run out of things to say," or "we have absolutely nothing in common anymore," and "he tunes me out;" or "she bores me to tears;" or "her nagging sounds just like my mother's and it grates on me horribly."
Truthfully, all of these are a symptom of the disconnect that I discussed earlier. People often feel that they, or their partner, have "changed." I almost never buy this. Sure, people can change their priorities, their outlook, and their perceptions, but I almost never buy that someone changes the core of who they are or changes so drastically as to be so different that they no longer resemble their former selves.
What has happened instead is that it's the circumstances, not the people, who have changed. Children and jobs make your priorities and the allocation of your time different and this in turn brings about a different outcome in your marriage, but this does not mean that your partner (or even you) have changed who you were.
You're Fighting About The Same Old Things And Can Never More Past It: One of the more easy to recognize signs that a marriage is just not working is that the two of you seem to always be having the same old fight because you are never able to resolve the biggest issues in your marriage once and for all.
People who have close and happy marriages are able to navigate and solve their martial problems pretty definitively so that the resentment and anger do not have too long to fester and to continue manifesting themselves to cause more damage. This doesn't mean that they don't have to "work" at their marriage. They do, but they are able to keep things in perspective and to work together to get through them for good rather than holding back or continuing to bring up the old, damaging issues that couples in crisis can not seem to move past.
The Laughter And Fun Is Gone: You may be rereading what I just wrote or think that I've lost my mind, but truly happy families and households place humor and having fun together as a very high priority. If you notice couples who are newlyweds or newly in love and you watch them for any length of time you will see a lot of flirting and laughing going on because they enjoy being together, they bring out the best in each other, and people who are happy in their relationships have a lot to smile about. What's the point really if you aren't enjoying yourself and having fun?
If you can't deny that your household has become sullen, take a look at how many fun or lighthearted activities you and your spouse are engaging in. Because people whose marriages are in trouble will often avoid these kinds of activities because they have become awkward and the payoff just isn't there anymore.
If you've seen any of these "warning signs," this doesn't mean that you're one step away from divorce or that these problems can not be fixed. It just means that your marriage could use some definite improvement and it certainly doesn't make any sense to wait to address this. Admitting that their is room for change is the first step toward making things right.
You Notice Or Feel A Lack Of Intimacy (Either Physical Or Emotional): Often the first thing to go in a troubled marriage is physical intimacy or sex. And often people will have all sorts of justifications for this, like: "we don't have as much time because of the kids," or "we aren't as young anymore," or "sex is not as important in our relationship as it used to be."
All of these may well be valid arguments and they may be absolutely true. But, the physical part of your marriage is absolutely indicative of the emotional part. If something is wrong in the bedroom, then it's generally true that something is wrong somewhere else. The emotional connection is lacking and is manifesting itself physically. Married couples who are very closely bonded and firing on all cylinders want to express these feelings physically and they often will simply find the time. I often answer folks who tell me that they are too busy for sex how much time they find for other priorities in their lives. Because these same folks often find the time for a manicure, round of golf, or other activities that they are simply putting first.
You No Longer Have Anything "Real" To Talk About. You May Feel You Have Nothing In Common Anymore: People who write to me and ask whether their marriage is in trouble or not will often tell me that the two of them "don't really talk anymore." Often, they'll find that when they are alone together, the conversation lags or they find themselves only talking about the kids or the shared business or household. Often though, they can often remember a time (when they were first dating or married) that they used to burn up the phone lines and talk for hours, but those days are long gone.
I often hear phrases like "it's like we've run out of things to say," or "we have absolutely nothing in common anymore," and "he tunes me out;" or "she bores me to tears;" or "her nagging sounds just like my mother's and it grates on me horribly."
Truthfully, all of these are a symptom of the disconnect that I discussed earlier. People often feel that they, or their partner, have "changed." I almost never buy this. Sure, people can change their priorities, their outlook, and their perceptions, but I almost never buy that someone changes the core of who they are or changes so drastically as to be so different that they no longer resemble their former selves.
What has happened instead is that it's the circumstances, not the people, who have changed. Children and jobs make your priorities and the allocation of your time different and this in turn brings about a different outcome in your marriage, but this does not mean that your partner (or even you) have changed who you were.
You're Fighting About The Same Old Things And Can Never More Past It: One of the more easy to recognize signs that a marriage is just not working is that the two of you seem to always be having the same old fight because you are never able to resolve the biggest issues in your marriage once and for all.
People who have close and happy marriages are able to navigate and solve their martial problems pretty definitively so that the resentment and anger do not have too long to fester and to continue manifesting themselves to cause more damage. This doesn't mean that they don't have to "work" at their marriage. They do, but they are able to keep things in perspective and to work together to get through them for good rather than holding back or continuing to bring up the old, damaging issues that couples in crisis can not seem to move past.
The Laughter And Fun Is Gone: You may be rereading what I just wrote or think that I've lost my mind, but truly happy families and households place humor and having fun together as a very high priority. If you notice couples who are newlyweds or newly in love and you watch them for any length of time you will see a lot of flirting and laughing going on because they enjoy being together, they bring out the best in each other, and people who are happy in their relationships have a lot to smile about. What's the point really if you aren't enjoying yourself and having fun?
If you can't deny that your household has become sullen, take a look at how many fun or lighthearted activities you and your spouse are engaging in. Because people whose marriages are in trouble will often avoid these kinds of activities because they have become awkward and the payoff just isn't there anymore.
If you've seen any of these "warning signs," this doesn't mean that you're one step away from divorce or that these problems can not be fixed. It just means that your marriage could use some definite improvement and it certainly doesn't make any sense to wait to address this. Admitting that their is room for change is the first step toward making things right.
Repair a Broken Marriage - Use This Powerful "Trick" to Revitalize Your Marriage by T. Benjamin Brown
Are you in a broken marriage that is on the rocks and in need of repair? I have a solution for you. In this article, I am going to show you how to save your broken marriage!
How You Can Get Your Spouse Back Into Your Arms In a nutshell, there are techniques that you can use to "trick" your partner into falling back in love with you. Furthermore, these techniques work even better for people who have been in love with each other before! That would be you! You can learn to manipulate the conditions in your relationship so that your partner will fall completely in love with you! Head over heels in love! What does this mean for you? It means that no matter how bad your relationship is right now, it is possible for you to recover your broken marriage!
The biology of love and what it can do for your marriage. Let's learn a little bit about what love does to our brains. Basically, love is a special kind of chemistry. When we fall in love our brains are flooded with four chemicals. We feel a high that no other human emotion can create. Did you know that the effects of this high can last up to three years? You can get a lot of mileage out of that!
More importantly, love is addictive. Powerfully addictive! The chemicals that we create when we fall in love have addictive qualities equal to drugs like cocaine. So that means, once you "trick" your partner into falling back in love with you, they won't be able to get enough of you. This is powerful. You will have all kinds of opportunities to strengthen your marriage so that it will never break again.
You're thinking "Sign me up! How do I get started? How do I get my partner to fall in love with me again?
First: It comes down to having been in love with each other before. This past experience gives you a huge advantage. Huge, I tell you! When you were first falling in love with your partner, your bodies used a combination of your five senses along with the chemicals produced by your brain to basically put each other through a series of tests. Without going into too much detail, these pop quizzes determined that you were a good match for one another. Your advantage is that you have already passed the test, you have been preapproved! You have good chemistry.
Second: Another advantage for you is that you have been in a long term relationship (marriage!) so you and your partner have developed a bond. It might not feel like it right now while things are rocky, but it is true. Studies have shown that the shared history of a long-term relationship in combination with "good chemistry" create the perfect conditions to fall in love again.
Third: There are simple techniques you can use to drive up the level of dopamine in your spouses brain to trigger feelings of romantic love! This is where the fun begins!
Quick Recap: Okay, so now you know that love really comes down to a chemical addiction between two people. You know that because of your marriage, you and your spouse have developed a bond over time. This chemistry between the two of you along with the bond that you have established provide the perfect conditions for you to fall in love again. Now, you bring it all home by engaging in activities together that drive up the level of dopamine in the brain and thus will trigger feelings of romantic love. Simple.
Remember, your spouse chose to marry you for a very good reason, you were a good match and you still are! So, be yourself and let your partner remember why they fell in love with you in the first place. Utilizing the information above will help you to rekindle old feelings of attraction and draw your spouse back to you.
How You Can Get Your Spouse Back Into Your Arms In a nutshell, there are techniques that you can use to "trick" your partner into falling back in love with you. Furthermore, these techniques work even better for people who have been in love with each other before! That would be you! You can learn to manipulate the conditions in your relationship so that your partner will fall completely in love with you! Head over heels in love! What does this mean for you? It means that no matter how bad your relationship is right now, it is possible for you to recover your broken marriage!
The biology of love and what it can do for your marriage. Let's learn a little bit about what love does to our brains. Basically, love is a special kind of chemistry. When we fall in love our brains are flooded with four chemicals. We feel a high that no other human emotion can create. Did you know that the effects of this high can last up to three years? You can get a lot of mileage out of that!
More importantly, love is addictive. Powerfully addictive! The chemicals that we create when we fall in love have addictive qualities equal to drugs like cocaine. So that means, once you "trick" your partner into falling back in love with you, they won't be able to get enough of you. This is powerful. You will have all kinds of opportunities to strengthen your marriage so that it will never break again.
You're thinking "Sign me up! How do I get started? How do I get my partner to fall in love with me again?
First: It comes down to having been in love with each other before. This past experience gives you a huge advantage. Huge, I tell you! When you were first falling in love with your partner, your bodies used a combination of your five senses along with the chemicals produced by your brain to basically put each other through a series of tests. Without going into too much detail, these pop quizzes determined that you were a good match for one another. Your advantage is that you have already passed the test, you have been preapproved! You have good chemistry.
Second: Another advantage for you is that you have been in a long term relationship (marriage!) so you and your partner have developed a bond. It might not feel like it right now while things are rocky, but it is true. Studies have shown that the shared history of a long-term relationship in combination with "good chemistry" create the perfect conditions to fall in love again.
Third: There are simple techniques you can use to drive up the level of dopamine in your spouses brain to trigger feelings of romantic love! This is where the fun begins!
Quick Recap: Okay, so now you know that love really comes down to a chemical addiction between two people. You know that because of your marriage, you and your spouse have developed a bond over time. This chemistry between the two of you along with the bond that you have established provide the perfect conditions for you to fall in love again. Now, you bring it all home by engaging in activities together that drive up the level of dopamine in the brain and thus will trigger feelings of romantic love. Simple.
Remember, your spouse chose to marry you for a very good reason, you were a good match and you still are! So, be yourself and let your partner remember why they fell in love with you in the first place. Utilizing the information above will help you to rekindle old feelings of attraction and draw your spouse back to you.
Solve Your Marriage Problems With These Happy Marriage Tips by Erica Connella
Having problems in a marriage must not be a big deal, but unfortunately some problems can be really disastrous to one's married life. And if there are problems, you should do your best to solve your marriage problems.
The following are some happy marriage tips we hope helps you put your married life back on track and bring happiness in your life:
* Never assume things. If you have a confusion in your mind, do yourself a favor and clear things out calmly with your spouse.
* Show to your husband or wife that you care. Showing care and interest in your spouse alone can solve many of your marriage problems.
* You fell in love with your wife/husband, now fall in love with the mother/father of your children. Save your marriage, not only for you, but for your children.
* When getting into an argument, first consider if it is really worth it. For example, arguing about who left the milk on the table, is it really worth it?
* Do not ever mention "divorce", make the word a taboo.
* Whenever you get a chance, surprise your partner. Get her/him a bunch of flowers for no reason just to say "I love you".
* Learn to sacrifice. Sometimes you may even have to sacrifice your principles. Do you want a happy married life or do you to be always right?
* Be touchy-feely whenever you have a moment of intimacy. I guess this would be happy marriage tip number one.
* Kick the ego out of your life if you want to save your marriage for ever. Just by saying "I'm sorry", a number of marriage problems can be solved or avoided.
* He/She is your soulmate. Never keep secrets from him/her.
* This one is a very important one: Do not compare your marriage with others. What you see on the outside may not always be what the reality is on the inside of a marriage relationship.
The following are some happy marriage tips we hope helps you put your married life back on track and bring happiness in your life:
* Never assume things. If you have a confusion in your mind, do yourself a favor and clear things out calmly with your spouse.
* Show to your husband or wife that you care. Showing care and interest in your spouse alone can solve many of your marriage problems.
* You fell in love with your wife/husband, now fall in love with the mother/father of your children. Save your marriage, not only for you, but for your children.
* When getting into an argument, first consider if it is really worth it. For example, arguing about who left the milk on the table, is it really worth it?
* Do not ever mention "divorce", make the word a taboo.
* Whenever you get a chance, surprise your partner. Get her/him a bunch of flowers for no reason just to say "I love you".
* Learn to sacrifice. Sometimes you may even have to sacrifice your principles. Do you want a happy married life or do you to be always right?
* Be touchy-feely whenever you have a moment of intimacy. I guess this would be happy marriage tip number one.
* Kick the ego out of your life if you want to save your marriage for ever. Just by saying "I'm sorry", a number of marriage problems can be solved or avoided.
* He/She is your soulmate. Never keep secrets from him/her.
* This one is a very important one: Do not compare your marriage with others. What you see on the outside may not always be what the reality is on the inside of a marriage relationship.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Key Roles in Marital Relationships By Dee Duncan
I married my best friend! My husband married his best friend! We did everything together, even shopping. We had a wonderful relationship. We understood each other. Although, I have always been a very strong woman, my husband has always been the intellectual type; very smart, we made a great team.
Relationships are hard enough without the influences of what someone else thinks your marriage should be. Sure, advice is a wonderful thing, when properly dispensed especially with experience to back it up. However, even that can become tainted depending upon what type situation one is dealing with.
Take the Bible, for instance, everyone seems to base marriage on what the Bible says about the man and the woman. "Therefore shall a man leave his mother and father and cleave unto his wife." Wives, obey your husbands," or does it say, "wives submit to your husbands?" Either way, we all seem to think these are the proper steps to a long and happy marital relationship. How many times have people told me that my husband is the head-is my head. How many times have I heard that my role is to submit and obey?
Millions upon millions of times I have heard support your husband, he comes first. It seems that so many people have defined the key roles of a husband and wife based on what is written in the Bible. We even see most weddings taking place in a church, the ceremony performed by a minister; even when the bride and groom are not affiliated with a church a all. Even when the bride and/or groom do not believe or live according to anything in the Bible, almost everybody will go straight to the Bible to define their roles as husband and wife.
The man is supposed to be the head. The head of the household, the head of the family, the head of his wife. That is his role. The wife is supposed to submit-that is her role. Give me 5 stinking breaks one after another!!
If there is anyone who defines their marriage this way and try and live it successfully, I take my hat off to you. I have seen more unhappy wives who just put up with this type role because they are afraid to disagree. I have seen more men try and force their wives to be, not submissive, but subservient, and ruin what could have been a beautiful relationship. Some where down the line, other people who had been married in this traditional manner decided that it was their duty to try and force other couples to live this way.
We have men telling other newly wed men that they need to teach their wives how to obey, control them and make them submit to you. We have women telling newly wed women that their role is to take care of the man and submit to whatever he says or does.
One day I asked my husband, "why is it that before we got married, none of this came up?" Before I married my best friend, all we talked about was our love and being together and our plan for our lives together and what we would do once we lived together as husband and wife. Even when we went through pre-marital counceling, we were in such agreement and so in love. Now all of a sudden, everything is about roles.
I must say, there are some older men who have schooled him well about me. I don't understand how it is they seem to know me better than he does. But we no longer talk about our love and our lives together, we only talk aobut his role as the head and my role as the submissive one. His friends have wives that say how high when they say leap. These women have to ask for permission to breathe. Our relationship has never been that way, until other people began to interfere. They felt it their responsibility to teach us what our roles are.
Who decided that just because the man is labeled as the head that he should just automatically get his way? Who decided that just because the woman submits that she should not have a brain in her head? That her husband should do all the thinking for her. Who decided that just because the role of the man is to be the head, he should handle all the business, whether he is capable or not? Who decided that when a woman handles the business of the household per her husband's request, that she is not being submissive. Just because you see her out front does not mean she is not submitting. What gives us the right to define these roles the way we think they should be?
We have a foundation for a marital relationship, but we got stuck on the foundation. Just like everything else. We have kept marriage in the dark ages. We have a tendency to think that just because we can't get any more out of it than we already have, no one can. That's because you are stuck. You have defined yourself into a jail from which you cannot escape. By your own words and thoughts, your own definitions, your own stubbornness; now, you wish everyone to share the same cell in which you are kept prisoner. Your own ego and pride has put you there because you refuse to build on the foundation you already have. A foundation is no good unless you build on it. Key roles are not all there are to relationships. Commitments would dictate that you live for me and I live for you. Vows would symbolize that I committed to make you happy and whole. Many times this means shutting out the interference. Just because your 18th century method of marriage is all you know does not mean it is for everybody!
Men cannot see a carbon copy of himself every time he comes into contact with another husband. Women cannot see a carbon copy of herself every time she comes into contact with another wife. You do not set the standard.
Personally, I am convinced that we still have much to learn about relationships. Until we get past the idea that everybody wants it to go their way, we are doomed to see more break-ups and divorces. Until we decide that we need to sit with that book called the Bible and figure out what some of these things really mean, we are doomed to repeat our same mistakes over and over again. I will not live by your convictions, I must live according to my own convictions. Oh boy, I'm happy!! I must be doing something wrong! Thats how we think, and then we set out to destroy what ever we think is happy.
I wish that others would just stop trying to define my role for me. I wish others would stop trying to define what a marital relationship is, at least until they absolutely find out for themselves what it is.
You tell me that its okay for my husband to hang out with you all the time, even when he neglects his own home, my role is to just submit. You tell me that its okay if my husband is not intimate with me, just submit to that. You tell me that I am the strong one and I should carry him, always, but I must also submit. You tell me that my husband should be out front and receive all the credit whether he did the work or not, I should be proud to just submit.
for more information on marriage tips visit www.resellrightstores.com/blog
Relationships are hard enough without the influences of what someone else thinks your marriage should be. Sure, advice is a wonderful thing, when properly dispensed especially with experience to back it up. However, even that can become tainted depending upon what type situation one is dealing with.
Take the Bible, for instance, everyone seems to base marriage on what the Bible says about the man and the woman. "Therefore shall a man leave his mother and father and cleave unto his wife." Wives, obey your husbands," or does it say, "wives submit to your husbands?" Either way, we all seem to think these are the proper steps to a long and happy marital relationship. How many times have people told me that my husband is the head-is my head. How many times have I heard that my role is to submit and obey?
Millions upon millions of times I have heard support your husband, he comes first. It seems that so many people have defined the key roles of a husband and wife based on what is written in the Bible. We even see most weddings taking place in a church, the ceremony performed by a minister; even when the bride and groom are not affiliated with a church a all. Even when the bride and/or groom do not believe or live according to anything in the Bible, almost everybody will go straight to the Bible to define their roles as husband and wife.
The man is supposed to be the head. The head of the household, the head of the family, the head of his wife. That is his role. The wife is supposed to submit-that is her role. Give me 5 stinking breaks one after another!!
If there is anyone who defines their marriage this way and try and live it successfully, I take my hat off to you. I have seen more unhappy wives who just put up with this type role because they are afraid to disagree. I have seen more men try and force their wives to be, not submissive, but subservient, and ruin what could have been a beautiful relationship. Some where down the line, other people who had been married in this traditional manner decided that it was their duty to try and force other couples to live this way.
We have men telling other newly wed men that they need to teach their wives how to obey, control them and make them submit to you. We have women telling newly wed women that their role is to take care of the man and submit to whatever he says or does.
One day I asked my husband, "why is it that before we got married, none of this came up?" Before I married my best friend, all we talked about was our love and being together and our plan for our lives together and what we would do once we lived together as husband and wife. Even when we went through pre-marital counceling, we were in such agreement and so in love. Now all of a sudden, everything is about roles.
I must say, there are some older men who have schooled him well about me. I don't understand how it is they seem to know me better than he does. But we no longer talk about our love and our lives together, we only talk aobut his role as the head and my role as the submissive one. His friends have wives that say how high when they say leap. These women have to ask for permission to breathe. Our relationship has never been that way, until other people began to interfere. They felt it their responsibility to teach us what our roles are.
Who decided that just because the man is labeled as the head that he should just automatically get his way? Who decided that just because the woman submits that she should not have a brain in her head? That her husband should do all the thinking for her. Who decided that just because the role of the man is to be the head, he should handle all the business, whether he is capable or not? Who decided that when a woman handles the business of the household per her husband's request, that she is not being submissive. Just because you see her out front does not mean she is not submitting. What gives us the right to define these roles the way we think they should be?
We have a foundation for a marital relationship, but we got stuck on the foundation. Just like everything else. We have kept marriage in the dark ages. We have a tendency to think that just because we can't get any more out of it than we already have, no one can. That's because you are stuck. You have defined yourself into a jail from which you cannot escape. By your own words and thoughts, your own definitions, your own stubbornness; now, you wish everyone to share the same cell in which you are kept prisoner. Your own ego and pride has put you there because you refuse to build on the foundation you already have. A foundation is no good unless you build on it. Key roles are not all there are to relationships. Commitments would dictate that you live for me and I live for you. Vows would symbolize that I committed to make you happy and whole. Many times this means shutting out the interference. Just because your 18th century method of marriage is all you know does not mean it is for everybody!
Men cannot see a carbon copy of himself every time he comes into contact with another husband. Women cannot see a carbon copy of herself every time she comes into contact with another wife. You do not set the standard.
Personally, I am convinced that we still have much to learn about relationships. Until we get past the idea that everybody wants it to go their way, we are doomed to see more break-ups and divorces. Until we decide that we need to sit with that book called the Bible and figure out what some of these things really mean, we are doomed to repeat our same mistakes over and over again. I will not live by your convictions, I must live according to my own convictions. Oh boy, I'm happy!! I must be doing something wrong! Thats how we think, and then we set out to destroy what ever we think is happy.
I wish that others would just stop trying to define my role for me. I wish others would stop trying to define what a marital relationship is, at least until they absolutely find out for themselves what it is.
You tell me that its okay for my husband to hang out with you all the time, even when he neglects his own home, my role is to just submit. You tell me that its okay if my husband is not intimate with me, just submit to that. You tell me that I am the strong one and I should carry him, always, but I must also submit. You tell me that my husband should be out front and receive all the credit whether he did the work or not, I should be proud to just submit.
for more information on marriage tips visit www.resellrightstores.com/blog
The Ultimate Keys to Successful Long-Term Relationships By Indrani Bhattacherjee
Among all these relationships, the relationship between the husband and the wife is probably the most important one as it gives foundation to the concept of society. This relationship comes into existence with tying the nuptial knot between the wife and the husband, which allows them to share their life later on. It is the responsibility of both husband and wife to take their relationship seriously and to carry out this responsibility, it is very important to have a better understanding between them.
A person needs to follow certain rules and regulations as an inseparable part of the society. The society wishes every man to live like respectable part of it. This is because man is the foundation of society it is the basic requirement of a human being as he lives his life here right from his birth until his demise to up hold the image. Many relationships happen to develop in the lifetime of a human being. All these relationships are necessary as all of them have their own importance and significance. It is always necessary for every human being to respect all these relationships.
These days, marriage analysis services are available everywhere. This type of analysis is very helpful for the young couples to develop a better understanding towards their responsibilities. These services are also helpful for those young men and women who wish to enter the conjugal life later in their life.
Marriage counseling helped to reduce the occurrence of divorce. Couples who have gone through marital counseling generally have ability for tackling troubles they may face together. Marriage counseling enhances your consciousness of possible matters that could impact your relationship. It also proposes you to know whether or not you are really ready for marriage.
Entire topics of discussion before marriage should be of values and beliefs, development of conflict resolution skills of each other including sex and intimacy, communication skills, marriage expectations, family ambitions, responsibility relationships, child education, and family finances.
'1000 Questions for couples' has been a very successful program on the internet as it has solved problems to numerous couples through marriage counseling. This site is very interactive in format as it has many useful and witty questions for the couples that are based upon real life problems. These questions for the married couples are very effective to solve all types of problems that spoil the joy of married life. As these problems are common to every household, therefore if you are also facing problems in your life also and you seriously wish to overcome them
A person needs to follow certain rules and regulations as an inseparable part of the society. The society wishes every man to live like respectable part of it. This is because man is the foundation of society it is the basic requirement of a human being as he lives his life here right from his birth until his demise to up hold the image. Many relationships happen to develop in the lifetime of a human being. All these relationships are necessary as all of them have their own importance and significance. It is always necessary for every human being to respect all these relationships.
These days, marriage analysis services are available everywhere. This type of analysis is very helpful for the young couples to develop a better understanding towards their responsibilities. These services are also helpful for those young men and women who wish to enter the conjugal life later in their life.
Marriage counseling helped to reduce the occurrence of divorce. Couples who have gone through marital counseling generally have ability for tackling troubles they may face together. Marriage counseling enhances your consciousness of possible matters that could impact your relationship. It also proposes you to know whether or not you are really ready for marriage.
Entire topics of discussion before marriage should be of values and beliefs, development of conflict resolution skills of each other including sex and intimacy, communication skills, marriage expectations, family ambitions, responsibility relationships, child education, and family finances.
'1000 Questions for couples' has been a very successful program on the internet as it has solved problems to numerous couples through marriage counseling. This site is very interactive in format as it has many useful and witty questions for the couples that are based upon real life problems. These questions for the married couples are very effective to solve all types of problems that spoil the joy of married life. As these problems are common to every household, therefore if you are also facing problems in your life also and you seriously wish to overcome them
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