Don't give up too soon! Sometimes it seems easier to get a divorce than to work to keep your marriage alive. This mindset is at the root of many divorces. The truth is much different. As you will read later in this article, the reality of divorce is much different then you may imagine. If you and your partner are willing to learn and work to save your marriage, there is a good chance that it can be saved.
There are some very good reasons saving your marriage as well. Many people considering a divorce imagine that happiness lies on the other side of the fence. Research however suggests that this isn't true. A survey of people who have gone through divorce showed that in general they weren't happier.
Getting a divorce may be jumping the gun. A recent study showed that 2/3 of people who were unhappy in their marriage and on the verge of divorce said that they were happy in their marriage five years later.
The majority of happily married couples have experienced extended periods of unhappiness. The key point is that it is important to be committed to your marriage. Don't throw away years of happiness in order to avoid short term problems. There are many ways to stop a divorce, there are a few tip to get you started.
1. Communication is key
I'm sure you've heard it before, but it's still true. You must communicate on a deep level with your partner regularly. "On a deep level" doesn't mean discussing who is going to pick up the kids from school or trying to remember when the oil was last changed in the car. Spend some time talking about your feelings about your relationship. Discuss the things that are important, not the trivial stuff life throws at us.
2. No Relationship Is Perfect
One of the hardest lessons I've ever learned is that when fantasy becomes reality, it's never quite as good as you imagined. When you are under a lot of stress at home, it is easy to slip into an imaginary world where everything is perfect. You imagine that being with a different partner would be perfect. Perfect relationship only exist in theory. Enjoy you fantasies but don't fall into the trap of believing that they are real.
3. Seek Help To Stop Divorce
You can stop your divorce if both of you are willing to make the effort. In addition to the desire to save your marriage, you may need some outside help. Help is available. Public libraries have lots of books on the subject of marriage advice. Many products are available online. If reading isn't your thing then you may prefer these products. Live one-on-one counseling is also available. Personal counseling can be expensive but sometimes it is the only method that works.
Remember that divorce has its repercussions as well as huge financial setbacks. But more importantly, it destroys a marriage and fully ends relationships. If there is till love in your marriage, then it's possible to stop your divorce.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
A Happier, More Sexual Marriage; A Secret For Men by Calle Zorro
Hey guys, are you interested in a little secret that can really help your marriage be a happier, more sexual union?
I thought you might be...but first, I need to "prepare" you to receive this secret...
Men like things to be DIRECT. Men like it when there is a one-to-one correlation to what they want. If they want 'X', then they want to be able to DIRECTLY push the 'X' button and immediately have an 'X' pop out.
This is why men the world over...when it comes time for love-making...well, there isn't actually much love-making...because the guy is busy PUNCHING and GRINDING the 'X' button...or in this case, his wife's clitoris/vagina...trying to DIRECTLY start her sexual motor so that the "sexual pleasure" he wants can occur.
I'm still preparing you to receive the secret...
Mostly, women are NOT direct like men are. In general, women do NOT want to push the 'X' button and have an 'X' pop out. Instead, they want to push the 'X' button which will then open the door so that they can push the 'Y' button which then paves the way so they can push the 'Z' button...which then loops them around so they can start on the 'A' button...and EVENTUALLY get back to the original 'X' button and this time FINALLY, have an 'X' pop out.
Going back to the love-making scenario...guys are driving STRAIGHT for the orgasm...their woman wishes just for ONCE that they could take the "scenic tour"...but the guy's driving...and he usually gets straight to what he wants...and his woman is left unsatisfied...dreaming...wishing...for a man who was a real lover...
Which raises the question, "What kind of lover are you?"
Ok, I think you're finally ready to receive the secret...
The reason we went through this whole direct and indirect thing is because this secret is INDIRECT...but if applied, it WILL lead to a happier, more sexual marriage...
Here it is...
LET YOUR WOMAN DO THINGS HER WAY AND TRAIN YOUR WOMAN TO LET YOU DO THINGS YOUR WAY. And, where there's overlap, work out and negotiate a mutually acceptable compromise.
Now, at first, that might seem rather obvious and not all that much of a secret so let's explore the idea...
If he doesn't watch out, a Type-A man (driving, competitive, fast-paced, active, impatient, serious) who is married to a Type-B (laid-back, relaxed, slow-paced, easy-going, patient, non-competitive, fun-oriented) woman will be constantly driving his woman to do what he wants RIGHT NOW. He'll constantly be trying to place her in competitive situations. Because of how he is, he'll be constantly trying to "make" her be like him, do things like him, and do things the way he would do them. And of course, because of how she is, the woman is trying to get the man to do things HER way.
Similarly, if a extroverted woman is married to an introverted man, she'll be constantly trying to get her husband to be more outgoing...she'll be pushing him to relax and open up and have fun in the midst of a big crowd...to socialize like she does...and the whole time, he's getting more nervous, upset, and frustrated by the second...which is why he always puts up the blocks and resistances to going out and intermingling in the first place.
There are other contrasts I could make but you get the point...and you can plainly see that the result is constant conflict...the result is a not very happy and definitely not very sexual marriage.
But, when a man and woman DECIDE to LET their companion be themselves and do things in their own way and respect and appreciate their companion for who and what they are THEN a person INDIRECTLY paves the way for a far happier, way more sexual marriage relationship.
Do you now see how this really is an important secret to a happier, more sexual marriage relationship? I'll repeat it one more time...
"Let your woman do things her way and train your woman to let you do things your way. And, where there's overlap, work out and negotiate a mutually acceptable compromise."
Copyright 2009, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if authorship credit is given to Calle Zorro and a link to MoreSexForMen.com is included with it:
I thought you might be...but first, I need to "prepare" you to receive this secret...
Men like things to be DIRECT. Men like it when there is a one-to-one correlation to what they want. If they want 'X', then they want to be able to DIRECTLY push the 'X' button and immediately have an 'X' pop out.
This is why men the world over...when it comes time for love-making...well, there isn't actually much love-making...because the guy is busy PUNCHING and GRINDING the 'X' button...or in this case, his wife's clitoris/vagina...trying to DIRECTLY start her sexual motor so that the "sexual pleasure" he wants can occur.
I'm still preparing you to receive the secret...
Mostly, women are NOT direct like men are. In general, women do NOT want to push the 'X' button and have an 'X' pop out. Instead, they want to push the 'X' button which will then open the door so that they can push the 'Y' button which then paves the way so they can push the 'Z' button...which then loops them around so they can start on the 'A' button...and EVENTUALLY get back to the original 'X' button and this time FINALLY, have an 'X' pop out.
Going back to the love-making scenario...guys are driving STRAIGHT for the orgasm...their woman wishes just for ONCE that they could take the "scenic tour"...but the guy's driving...and he usually gets straight to what he wants...and his woman is left unsatisfied...dreaming...wishing...for a man who was a real lover...
Which raises the question, "What kind of lover are you?"
Ok, I think you're finally ready to receive the secret...
The reason we went through this whole direct and indirect thing is because this secret is INDIRECT...but if applied, it WILL lead to a happier, more sexual marriage...
Here it is...
LET YOUR WOMAN DO THINGS HER WAY AND TRAIN YOUR WOMAN TO LET YOU DO THINGS YOUR WAY. And, where there's overlap, work out and negotiate a mutually acceptable compromise.
Now, at first, that might seem rather obvious and not all that much of a secret so let's explore the idea...
If he doesn't watch out, a Type-A man (driving, competitive, fast-paced, active, impatient, serious) who is married to a Type-B (laid-back, relaxed, slow-paced, easy-going, patient, non-competitive, fun-oriented) woman will be constantly driving his woman to do what he wants RIGHT NOW. He'll constantly be trying to place her in competitive situations. Because of how he is, he'll be constantly trying to "make" her be like him, do things like him, and do things the way he would do them. And of course, because of how she is, the woman is trying to get the man to do things HER way.
Similarly, if a extroverted woman is married to an introverted man, she'll be constantly trying to get her husband to be more outgoing...she'll be pushing him to relax and open up and have fun in the midst of a big crowd...to socialize like she does...and the whole time, he's getting more nervous, upset, and frustrated by the second...which is why he always puts up the blocks and resistances to going out and intermingling in the first place.
There are other contrasts I could make but you get the point...and you can plainly see that the result is constant conflict...the result is a not very happy and definitely not very sexual marriage.
But, when a man and woman DECIDE to LET their companion be themselves and do things in their own way and respect and appreciate their companion for who and what they are THEN a person INDIRECTLY paves the way for a far happier, way more sexual marriage relationship.
Do you now see how this really is an important secret to a happier, more sexual marriage relationship? I'll repeat it one more time...
"Let your woman do things her way and train your woman to let you do things your way. And, where there's overlap, work out and negotiate a mutually acceptable compromise."
Copyright 2009, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if authorship credit is given to Calle Zorro and a link to MoreSexForMen.com is included with it:
A Happier, More Sexual Marriage; A Secret For Men by Calle Zorro
Hey guys, are you interested in a little secret that can really help your marriage be a happier, more sexual union?
I thought you might be...but first, I need to "prepare" you to receive this secret...
Men like things to be DIRECT. Men like it when there is a one-to-one correlation to what they want. If they want 'X', then they want to be able to DIRECTLY push the 'X' button and immediately have an 'X' pop out.
This is why men the world over...when it comes time for love-making...well, there isn't actually much love-making...because the guy is busy PUNCHING and GRINDING the 'X' button...or in this case, his wife's clitoris/vagina...trying to DIRECTLY start her sexual motor so that the "sexual pleasure" he wants can occur.
I'm still preparing you to receive the secret...
Mostly, women are NOT direct like men are. In general, women do NOT want to push the 'X' button and have an 'X' pop out. Instead, they want to push the 'X' button which will then open the door so that they can push the 'Y' button which then paves the way so they can push the 'Z' button...which then loops them around so they can start on the 'A' button...and EVENTUALLY get back to the original 'X' button and this time FINALLY, have an 'X' pop out.
Going back to the love-making scenario...guys are driving STRAIGHT for the orgasm...their woman wishes just for ONCE that they could take the "scenic tour"...but the guy's driving...and he usually gets straight to what he wants...and his woman is left unsatisfied...dreaming...wishing...for a man who was a real lover...
Which raises the question, "What kind of lover are you?"
Ok, I think you're finally ready to receive the secret...
The reason we went through this whole direct and indirect thing is because this secret is INDIRECT...but if applied, it WILL lead to a happier, more sexual marriage...
Here it is...
LET YOUR WOMAN DO THINGS HER WAY AND TRAIN YOUR WOMAN TO LET YOU DO THINGS YOUR WAY. And, where there's overlap, work out and negotiate a mutually acceptable compromise.
Now, at first, that might seem rather obvious and not all that much of a secret so let's explore the idea...
If he doesn't watch out, a Type-A man (driving, competitive, fast-paced, active, impatient, serious) who is married to a Type-B (laid-back, relaxed, slow-paced, easy-going, patient, non-competitive, fun-oriented) woman will be constantly driving his woman to do what he wants RIGHT NOW. He'll constantly be trying to place her in competitive situations. Because of how he is, he'll be constantly trying to "make" her be like him, do things like him, and do things the way he would do them. And of course, because of how she is, the woman is trying to get the man to do things HER way.
Similarly, if a extroverted woman is married to an introverted man, she'll be constantly trying to get her husband to be more outgoing...she'll be pushing him to relax and open up and have fun in the midst of a big crowd...to socialize like she does...and the whole time, he's getting more nervous, upset, and frustrated by the second...which is why he always puts up the blocks and resistances to going out and intermingling in the first place.
There are other contrasts I could make but you get the point...and you can plainly see that the result is constant conflict...the result is a not very happy and definitely not very sexual marriage.
But, when a man and woman DECIDE to LET their companion be themselves and do things in their own way and respect and appreciate their companion for who and what they are THEN a person INDIRECTLY paves the way for a far happier, way more sexual marriage relationship.
Do you now see how this really is an important secret to a happier, more sexual marriage relationship? I'll repeat it one more time...
"Let your woman do things her way and train your woman to let you do things your way. And, where there's overlap, work out and negotiate a mutually acceptable compromise."
Copyright 2009, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if authorship credit is given to Calle Zorro and a link to MoreSexForMen.com is included with it:
I thought you might be...but first, I need to "prepare" you to receive this secret...
Men like things to be DIRECT. Men like it when there is a one-to-one correlation to what they want. If they want 'X', then they want to be able to DIRECTLY push the 'X' button and immediately have an 'X' pop out.
This is why men the world over...when it comes time for love-making...well, there isn't actually much love-making...because the guy is busy PUNCHING and GRINDING the 'X' button...or in this case, his wife's clitoris/vagina...trying to DIRECTLY start her sexual motor so that the "sexual pleasure" he wants can occur.
I'm still preparing you to receive the secret...
Mostly, women are NOT direct like men are. In general, women do NOT want to push the 'X' button and have an 'X' pop out. Instead, they want to push the 'X' button which will then open the door so that they can push the 'Y' button which then paves the way so they can push the 'Z' button...which then loops them around so they can start on the 'A' button...and EVENTUALLY get back to the original 'X' button and this time FINALLY, have an 'X' pop out.
Going back to the love-making scenario...guys are driving STRAIGHT for the orgasm...their woman wishes just for ONCE that they could take the "scenic tour"...but the guy's driving...and he usually gets straight to what he wants...and his woman is left unsatisfied...dreaming...wishing...for a man who was a real lover...
Which raises the question, "What kind of lover are you?"
Ok, I think you're finally ready to receive the secret...
The reason we went through this whole direct and indirect thing is because this secret is INDIRECT...but if applied, it WILL lead to a happier, more sexual marriage...
Here it is...
LET YOUR WOMAN DO THINGS HER WAY AND TRAIN YOUR WOMAN TO LET YOU DO THINGS YOUR WAY. And, where there's overlap, work out and negotiate a mutually acceptable compromise.
Now, at first, that might seem rather obvious and not all that much of a secret so let's explore the idea...
If he doesn't watch out, a Type-A man (driving, competitive, fast-paced, active, impatient, serious) who is married to a Type-B (laid-back, relaxed, slow-paced, easy-going, patient, non-competitive, fun-oriented) woman will be constantly driving his woman to do what he wants RIGHT NOW. He'll constantly be trying to place her in competitive situations. Because of how he is, he'll be constantly trying to "make" her be like him, do things like him, and do things the way he would do them. And of course, because of how she is, the woman is trying to get the man to do things HER way.
Similarly, if a extroverted woman is married to an introverted man, she'll be constantly trying to get her husband to be more outgoing...she'll be pushing him to relax and open up and have fun in the midst of a big crowd...to socialize like she does...and the whole time, he's getting more nervous, upset, and frustrated by the second...which is why he always puts up the blocks and resistances to going out and intermingling in the first place.
There are other contrasts I could make but you get the point...and you can plainly see that the result is constant conflict...the result is a not very happy and definitely not very sexual marriage.
But, when a man and woman DECIDE to LET their companion be themselves and do things in their own way and respect and appreciate their companion for who and what they are THEN a person INDIRECTLY paves the way for a far happier, way more sexual marriage relationship.
Do you now see how this really is an important secret to a happier, more sexual marriage relationship? I'll repeat it one more time...
"Let your woman do things her way and train your woman to let you do things your way. And, where there's overlap, work out and negotiate a mutually acceptable compromise."
Copyright 2009, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if authorship credit is given to Calle Zorro and a link to MoreSexForMen.com is included with it:
What's at the Root of Your Marriage Problems? by Jake Jafims
All relationships run into problems from time to time. You could fill an entire book if you tried to list every possible problem. As soon as you finished someone would come up with more problems to add.
There are as many relationship problems as there are relationships. We're all unique and what one person would view as a problem, someone else might find helpful. It will come as no surprise then, that there isn't one root cause for all marriage problems.
Since you're unique, any problems you are experiencing may have a unique root cause or causes. It can be difficult to discover the root causes but it is possible with determination and teamwork. The first step is to sit down with your spouse and have a conversation.
The goal of this first conversation is to bring up your concerns and to narrow down the possible areas that may be at the root of your relationship problems. Surprisingly, it is not uncommon for one partner to be completely unaware that the other partner feels that there is a problem.
Most marriage counselors agree that the three biggest root causes of marital problems are money, sex and children. If you and your spouse can come to an understanding on these three issues then you've gone a long way toward a successful marriage.
Any of the "big 3" issues can destroy a marriage if the two of you can't come reach an agreement on them. Lets assume that you and your spouse have resolved any issues surrounding the three most common problem areas. We now need to look at a couple of the less common root causes.
Trust, or more specifically, the lack of trust is often a problem. This issue is more common in newer marriages. But suspicions can work their way into any marriage. It is time to sit down and have a talk about trust if you feel that your partner isn't being completely honest. Be prepared to discuss specific events that have made you question your trust.
Being trustworthy requires a commitment on both parties to always be fair, truthful, and consistent and do what you say you will do. It also means being sensitive, respectful and acting as a good listener.
Compatibility may be at the root of your relationship problems. Compatibility issues don't usually show up for years. As life marches on, we all change. Early in your relationship you may have had many common interests. Perhaps you were both into dancing, skiing or NASCAR. Now you find that your interests have drifted apart.
There are many more possible root causes for marital problems. Finding the root cause is a very important step in the process. But it is only the first step. Once you have found the root problem it is time to begin working on the solution.
There are many avenues open to you in your quest to repair your marriage. Marriage counseling is a good choice if you and your spouse can't find the root cause. There is also a lot of great marriage advice available in book and in online products.
There are as many relationship problems as there are relationships. We're all unique and what one person would view as a problem, someone else might find helpful. It will come as no surprise then, that there isn't one root cause for all marriage problems.
Since you're unique, any problems you are experiencing may have a unique root cause or causes. It can be difficult to discover the root causes but it is possible with determination and teamwork. The first step is to sit down with your spouse and have a conversation.
The goal of this first conversation is to bring up your concerns and to narrow down the possible areas that may be at the root of your relationship problems. Surprisingly, it is not uncommon for one partner to be completely unaware that the other partner feels that there is a problem.
Most marriage counselors agree that the three biggest root causes of marital problems are money, sex and children. If you and your spouse can come to an understanding on these three issues then you've gone a long way toward a successful marriage.
Any of the "big 3" issues can destroy a marriage if the two of you can't come reach an agreement on them. Lets assume that you and your spouse have resolved any issues surrounding the three most common problem areas. We now need to look at a couple of the less common root causes.
Trust, or more specifically, the lack of trust is often a problem. This issue is more common in newer marriages. But suspicions can work their way into any marriage. It is time to sit down and have a talk about trust if you feel that your partner isn't being completely honest. Be prepared to discuss specific events that have made you question your trust.
Being trustworthy requires a commitment on both parties to always be fair, truthful, and consistent and do what you say you will do. It also means being sensitive, respectful and acting as a good listener.
Compatibility may be at the root of your relationship problems. Compatibility issues don't usually show up for years. As life marches on, we all change. Early in your relationship you may have had many common interests. Perhaps you were both into dancing, skiing or NASCAR. Now you find that your interests have drifted apart.
There are many more possible root causes for marital problems. Finding the root cause is a very important step in the process. But it is only the first step. Once you have found the root problem it is time to begin working on the solution.
There are many avenues open to you in your quest to repair your marriage. Marriage counseling is a good choice if you and your spouse can't find the root cause. There is also a lot of great marriage advice available in book and in online products.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
How To Set a Budget for a Family Tradition -By Denise Witmer,
You can alleviate 90% of the stress you feel when planning a family vacation or the holiday season if you budget for it. Setting up a budget for family events throughout the year is as important as setting the time and date. You can know what you want to do and when, but it isn’t going to happen – or it won’t be any fun - if there are no funds.
Difficulty: Average
Time Required: 2 hours
Here's How:
1. Take a look at what you spent on the event the previous year or if this is the first time, estimate how much it will be. This is your cost.
2. Do some research. Evaluate the price tag and see if there is any chance of going up before the event. If so, add that amount to your cost.
3. Calculate how much time, in weeks or by pay schedule, you have before the family event.
4. Divide your cost by how many weeks, or how many pay periods, you have to save for it.
5. Open a special bank savings account where you can transfer the amount so that it is not sitting with your money for expenses.
6. Every time you get paid, pay yourself first by transferring your budgeted amount into your savings account.
7. Don’t give up. If your household budget gets tight, let it be a little tighter. Family traditions form a sense of unity in the family. Your children need that – and so do you.
Tips:
1. Start now!
2. If the amount is too much for you to save weekly, you’ll need to re-evaluate the event or find a side job to bring in some extra income.
3. Would you give your teen their own credit card?
* Yes.
* Yes, but one that I can control.
* No way!
* Not sure.
See the poll results.
4.
Parenting Quizzes for Parents of Teens
* Quiz: Are you raising a healthy teen?
* Quiz: Is your teen safe online?
* Quiz: Do you have a case of parental burnout?
* Quiz: Is your teen over-scheduled?
* Quiz: Are you raising a mean girl?
* How Well Do You Really Know Your Teen?
* Screening Quiz: Is Your Teen Lying?
More Teens How To's
Suggested Reading
Five Reasons to Teach Budgeting in the Teen YearsAll Family Budget ArticlesHow to Give ChoicesParenting Quiz: Are You a Pushover Parent?How much rent should teens pay?
Difficulty: Average
Time Required: 2 hours
Here's How:
1. Take a look at what you spent on the event the previous year or if this is the first time, estimate how much it will be. This is your cost.
2. Do some research. Evaluate the price tag and see if there is any chance of going up before the event. If so, add that amount to your cost.
3. Calculate how much time, in weeks or by pay schedule, you have before the family event.
4. Divide your cost by how many weeks, or how many pay periods, you have to save for it.
5. Open a special bank savings account where you can transfer the amount so that it is not sitting with your money for expenses.
6. Every time you get paid, pay yourself first by transferring your budgeted amount into your savings account.
7. Don’t give up. If your household budget gets tight, let it be a little tighter. Family traditions form a sense of unity in the family. Your children need that – and so do you.
Tips:
1. Start now!
2. If the amount is too much for you to save weekly, you’ll need to re-evaluate the event or find a side job to bring in some extra income.
3. Would you give your teen their own credit card?
* Yes.
* Yes, but one that I can control.
* No way!
* Not sure.
See the poll results.
4.
Parenting Quizzes for Parents of Teens
* Quiz: Are you raising a healthy teen?
* Quiz: Is your teen safe online?
* Quiz: Do you have a case of parental burnout?
* Quiz: Is your teen over-scheduled?
* Quiz: Are you raising a mean girl?
* How Well Do You Really Know Your Teen?
* Screening Quiz: Is Your Teen Lying?
More Teens How To's
Suggested Reading
Five Reasons to Teach Budgeting in the Teen YearsAll Family Budget ArticlesHow to Give ChoicesParenting Quiz: Are You a Pushover Parent?How much rent should teens pay?
Bringing Debts into a Marriage-By Nathan Dawson
Are you a credit card junkie? Credit card debt can often be a big, deep, dark secret for someone preparing for marriage. It’s an uncomfortable subject to talk about. Do you bring it up before or after he slips the engagement ring on your finger (or before you slip it onto hers)? Or do you wait until after all the marriage preparations are in place?
If there are large differences in your assets and liabilities, it may not be such a hot idea to get a joint bank account. Furthermore, you may want to sign a prenuptial agreement just to be clear about what came before your marriage, and what came after.
How you plan your wedding budget will largely determine how you approach money management as a married couple, in the long term. Wedding costs, by themselves can run up quite a tab. If you are noticing conflicts in the early stages of your joint money management, then get some financial marriage advice or premarital counseling.
Couple counseling can be just as much a part of a healthy marriage as family or financial planning is. It’s a way of ensuring solid communication skills from the get go; and that’s important when debts and assets are about to be split right down the middle.
If there are large differences in your assets and liabilities, it may not be such a hot idea to get a joint bank account. Furthermore, you may want to sign a prenuptial agreement just to be clear about what came before your marriage, and what came after.
How you plan your wedding budget will largely determine how you approach money management as a married couple, in the long term. Wedding costs, by themselves can run up quite a tab. If you are noticing conflicts in the early stages of your joint money management, then get some financial marriage advice or premarital counseling.
Couple counseling can be just as much a part of a healthy marriage as family or financial planning is. It’s a way of ensuring solid communication skills from the get go; and that’s important when debts and assets are about to be split right down the middle.
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