During 2008, the latest year for which statistics are available, there were 2,162,000 marriages recorded in the United States. More than 6,000 of our fellow Americans tied the knot every single day! And, in spite of the reported high rate of divorce--last recorded as about 44% of first marriages after seven years--the rate of re-marriage is an astonishing 93%. This is more than great news for wedding planners and caterers. Marriage seems to have taken hold in this culture as a status that accords us a level of respect, an assumption of accountability (whether true or not), and a regard by society that means we're members in good standing of the community.
Marriage even affords us a number of benefits, rights and legal protections not found outside its esteemed position in our society. In fact the actual number of rights and benefits is knowable, and is rather high. Higher than most people realize, or they may be more solicitous of a marriage partner. Knowing this information would also likely make more people able to see the unfairness in denying those marriage rights to anyone otherwise eligible, which is one purpose of this article, and the derivation of its title. Marriage is not just a human right; it's a portal into the benefits and protections the state bestows to its adult citizens. How many rights, protections and benefits?
Go back to your wedding day. It was likely a day of great joy, when you were surrounded by family and friends, all wishing you well, smiling, sharing with you the spirit of the occasion. You walked down an aisle of some kind with your intended to the music you'd picked, surrounded by the esteem of all around you. Then, you likely faced a judge, or a cleric, and made promises to each other and the community to be faithful, true, mindful of the celebrated state into which you were entering. And the instant you said "I do", all the aforementioned rights, benefits and legal protections were yours, just for saying those two simple words.
How many rights? Not fifty. Not 100. No, there are in fact 1,138 separate, identified federal and state benefits, rights and legal protections that attach to two people who marry in this country. By extension, then, those are rights and benefits unavailable to those who for one reason or another are disqualified from entering into a marriage contract.
Here's one example of what married people enjoy. It has to do with rights under Social Security. Keep in mind that all working Americans contribute to this program through payroll tax. Regardless of how society views us, and in spite of what other status we may have in society, whether part of the mainstream or an outcast, if we're gainfully employed in this country, we're required to pay into the Social Security trust fund.
Social Security provides the sole means of support for a number of Americans. Here's where the rights and benefits of marriage enter the picture. All surviving spouses of working Americans are eligible to receive Social Security payments. Surviving spouses who care for a deceased employee's minor child are also eligible for a support payment, in addition to the regular monthly stipend. These are benefits that are denied to gay and lesbian Americans because they cannot marry. Thus, those couples who contribute to Social Security over their lifetime receive drastically unequal benefits from what their married counterparts receive. If both partners pay into the system for many years, the amount of differential can be hundreds, or even thousands of dollars every year.
So the denial of marriage isn't just a minor concern for those couples, and should not be for us. Americans have always been sensitive to unfairness in our society. Our history is littered with the remnants of long-discarded human rights denials that would seem ludicrous today. As recently as 1967--just 42 years ago--there were sixteen states in the U.S. that carried anti-miscegenation laws on their books prohibiting the marriage of blacks and whites. The case that addressed that travesty, appropriately titled Loving Vs Virginia, eliminated one such social stain. Today the concept of denying anyone marriage because of their race would be laughable. Still, we continue to deny civil marriage to gays and lesbians because of a similar condition of birth. It's as if we denied people the right to drive because they were born left handed.
Returning to the Social Security example, we see that those denied civil marriage are faced with this inequity:
Family #1: Married husband and wife, both biological parents of the child, either member would be:
- Eligible for Surviving Child Benefits
- Eligible for Surviving Parent Benefits
Family #2: Same-sex couple, deceased worker was the biological parent or adoptive parent of the child (where permitted)
- Eligible for Surviving Child Benefits
- Not Eligible for Surviving Parent Benefits
Family #3: Same-sex couple, deceased worker was not the biological parent nor able to adopt the child through second-parent adoption, surviving member
- Not Eligible for Surviving Child Benefits
- Not Eligible for Surviving Parent Benefits
For those who know couples like those described above, this isn't a remote, unlikely possibility, but reality. Denial of these benefits happens every day, in spite of the fact that these individuals are required, just as their co-workers are, to pay into Social Security. Presented with this information, in addition to the remainder of the 1,138 rights and benefits afforded married couples in this country, reasonable people will conclude that this is unfair, and yet another reason that civil marriage equality is a human
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Marriage Tips: Breathe Your Way to a Happier Marriage.By Nancy Wasson
One way to increase your chances of enjoying a happy marriage is to remember to breathe deeply. Are you surprised by this recommendation? You’re probably not the only one.
The concept of deep breathing as a valuable tool in creating a satisfying marriage may sound strange at first, but that’s because most of us don’t give much thought to the subject of breathing. And breathing isn’t usually tied in with marital happiness unless someone cracks a joke about the “heavy breathing” associated with sex.
What are the benefits of deep breathing that spouses may want to consider? Here’s a partial list:
• prevents stress from building up,
• reduces tension that is already there,
• increases energy level,
• reduces insomnia and fatigue,
• reduces general anxiety,
• helps relaxation process,
• lowers blood pressure,
• helps mental alertness, and
• helps in control of emotions.
Just think—all of these benefits from just adding some breathing awareness and exercises to your day! No, this isn’t a magic cure-all that comes with a guarantee. But it’s free, it’s easy, it can be done anywhere, it requires no special equipment, and it’s safe—so why not experiment and see for yourself?
But what’s wrong with the way you’re breathing now, you might ask. If you’re a typical adult, you probably breathe most of the time using only your chest muscles, which fills only the top part of the lungs with each breath. This doesn’t allow you to take in sufficient oxygen or to eliminate sufficient carbon dioxide. Thus, your body becomes oxygen starved, and toxins build up.
When you’re under stress or feeling anxious, your heart rate goes up as you breathe faster and take shallow breaths. In contrast, when you slow down and breathe deeply instead of taking fast, shallow breaths, your heart doesn’t have to work as hard, and you are counteracting the effects of stress, tension, and anxiety.
And with that basic understanding, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to connect the dots between deep breathing and feeling better physically and emotionally and how this could affect a marriage relationship.
If you feel better physically, are more relaxed, less stressed and tense, are sleeping better, and are less anxious and fatigued, then you’re going to be more likely to have the energy and stamina to put more effort into your marriage relationship. You’ll also be more likely to be able to control your emotions better and less likely to “snap” over something minor. And you might be a lot more fun to be around!
Remember that old adage to “Take a deep breath and count to ten” when you’re angry? That’s still good advice. When you’re irritated, agitated, or angry with your spouse, stop and take several deep breaths before you respond and make things even worse.
If you still feel that your anger is escalating, say that you need to take a short break before continuing the conversation. Then, go into another room (if there’s no other place to retreat, go into the bathroom) and do several minutes of breathing exercises.
Likewise, when you’re feeling stressed and tense, stop and do some breathing exercises before the tension builds up and spills over into your marriage relationship. By using breathing awareness and techniques to relieve tension, you’ll be able to prevent many disagreements and arguments that occur when spouses are stressed. You might even find that remembering to breathe deeply during sex increases your pleasure.
Here are some simple breathing exercises you can work into your daily life to help you relax and cope better with stress and relationship challenges:
Exercise l: To experience the difference between chest breathing and deep belly breathing, place one hand on your chest and the other hand on your tummy. You will probably notice that the hand on your chest is moving with each breath.
Your goal is to reverse this and have the hand on your tummy move instead of the hand on your chest as you inhale and exhale. If it’s hard to experience this sitting down, you may wish to lie down on the floor where it can be easier to experience belly breathing initially.
Just observe your breathing as you take deep breaths and feel your belly rise with each inhalation. Do this for several minutes until your breathing slows down and you begin to feel more relaxed.
Exercise 2: Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and focus your attention on the two pauses that occur during the breathing process. The first is just after you inhale (right before you start to exhale) and the second is just after you exhale (right before you inhale again).
Don’t try to control your breathing; just focus on the two pauses, noticing how the breath pauses slightly each time. Just notice the two slight pauses as you breathe in and out. As you focus your attention on the two pauses, you’ll find that you are breathing more deeply and are getting more relaxed.
Take this mini-stress-relieving break twice a day and allow yourself at least five minutes of peaceful relaxation each time.
Exercise 3: Put one hand on your abdomen right below your navel. Inhale slowly and deeply through your nose. Imagine that you are blowing up a balloon as your lower abdomen starts filling up with air.
Count slowly to 3 as you inhale. You’ll notice that your hand is rising as your abdomen fills with air.
Pause and count to 2. Then exhale slowly through your nose to a count of 3. Imagine that all of the air is leaving the balloon. Repeat this several times.
Exercise 4: Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and take a deep breath as you count slowly to 4. Then hold your breath for a count of 4.
Next, exhale slowly to a count of 8, making your exhalation twice as long as your inhalation. You may want to put one hand on your abdomen to be sure you are breathing deeply from your belly. Repeat several times.
The concept of deep breathing as a valuable tool in creating a satisfying marriage may sound strange at first, but that’s because most of us don’t give much thought to the subject of breathing. And breathing isn’t usually tied in with marital happiness unless someone cracks a joke about the “heavy breathing” associated with sex.
What are the benefits of deep breathing that spouses may want to consider? Here’s a partial list:
• prevents stress from building up,
• reduces tension that is already there,
• increases energy level,
• reduces insomnia and fatigue,
• reduces general anxiety,
• helps relaxation process,
• lowers blood pressure,
• helps mental alertness, and
• helps in control of emotions.
Just think—all of these benefits from just adding some breathing awareness and exercises to your day! No, this isn’t a magic cure-all that comes with a guarantee. But it’s free, it’s easy, it can be done anywhere, it requires no special equipment, and it’s safe—so why not experiment and see for yourself?
But what’s wrong with the way you’re breathing now, you might ask. If you’re a typical adult, you probably breathe most of the time using only your chest muscles, which fills only the top part of the lungs with each breath. This doesn’t allow you to take in sufficient oxygen or to eliminate sufficient carbon dioxide. Thus, your body becomes oxygen starved, and toxins build up.
When you’re under stress or feeling anxious, your heart rate goes up as you breathe faster and take shallow breaths. In contrast, when you slow down and breathe deeply instead of taking fast, shallow breaths, your heart doesn’t have to work as hard, and you are counteracting the effects of stress, tension, and anxiety.
And with that basic understanding, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to connect the dots between deep breathing and feeling better physically and emotionally and how this could affect a marriage relationship.
If you feel better physically, are more relaxed, less stressed and tense, are sleeping better, and are less anxious and fatigued, then you’re going to be more likely to have the energy and stamina to put more effort into your marriage relationship. You’ll also be more likely to be able to control your emotions better and less likely to “snap” over something minor. And you might be a lot more fun to be around!
Remember that old adage to “Take a deep breath and count to ten” when you’re angry? That’s still good advice. When you’re irritated, agitated, or angry with your spouse, stop and take several deep breaths before you respond and make things even worse.
If you still feel that your anger is escalating, say that you need to take a short break before continuing the conversation. Then, go into another room (if there’s no other place to retreat, go into the bathroom) and do several minutes of breathing exercises.
Likewise, when you’re feeling stressed and tense, stop and do some breathing exercises before the tension builds up and spills over into your marriage relationship. By using breathing awareness and techniques to relieve tension, you’ll be able to prevent many disagreements and arguments that occur when spouses are stressed. You might even find that remembering to breathe deeply during sex increases your pleasure.
Here are some simple breathing exercises you can work into your daily life to help you relax and cope better with stress and relationship challenges:
Exercise l: To experience the difference between chest breathing and deep belly breathing, place one hand on your chest and the other hand on your tummy. You will probably notice that the hand on your chest is moving with each breath.
Your goal is to reverse this and have the hand on your tummy move instead of the hand on your chest as you inhale and exhale. If it’s hard to experience this sitting down, you may wish to lie down on the floor where it can be easier to experience belly breathing initially.
Just observe your breathing as you take deep breaths and feel your belly rise with each inhalation. Do this for several minutes until your breathing slows down and you begin to feel more relaxed.
Exercise 2: Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and focus your attention on the two pauses that occur during the breathing process. The first is just after you inhale (right before you start to exhale) and the second is just after you exhale (right before you inhale again).
Don’t try to control your breathing; just focus on the two pauses, noticing how the breath pauses slightly each time. Just notice the two slight pauses as you breathe in and out. As you focus your attention on the two pauses, you’ll find that you are breathing more deeply and are getting more relaxed.
Take this mini-stress-relieving break twice a day and allow yourself at least five minutes of peaceful relaxation each time.
Exercise 3: Put one hand on your abdomen right below your navel. Inhale slowly and deeply through your nose. Imagine that you are blowing up a balloon as your lower abdomen starts filling up with air.
Count slowly to 3 as you inhale. You’ll notice that your hand is rising as your abdomen fills with air.
Pause and count to 2. Then exhale slowly through your nose to a count of 3. Imagine that all of the air is leaving the balloon. Repeat this several times.
Exercise 4: Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and take a deep breath as you count slowly to 4. Then hold your breath for a count of 4.
Next, exhale slowly to a count of 8, making your exhalation twice as long as your inhalation. You may want to put one hand on your abdomen to be sure you are breathing deeply from your belly. Repeat several times.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Good Marriage Advice Can Save Your Marriage! by Meredith Glee
The facts are true, good marriage advice can also be the source of your secrets to a happy marriage. By learning to adjust and make your marriage easier to cope with, you've managed to avoid a worse situation, and have learned a valuable secret.
By taking and applying some tips in the area of your marriage, you can stave off many problems, and relax many tense situations. The advice is meant to help you, but can only do so if you follow it. And there seems to be more of it available today than in any other decade.
By being a good listener, and being honest with yourself as well as your mate, you're on the road to learning some secrets to a happy marriage, and also learning how to implement good marriage advice into your own personal situation.
One of the so-called secrets (which really isn't a secret, it's just that couples many times don't do it), is to wait and discuss your problem after you've had time to calm down and your blood is no longer at a full boil.
Learning to dwell on the good things as opposed to the problems, many time problems can just dissipate and go away. But it takes an honest effort to hold on to the good, and let go of the unwanted and bad. Being armed with a few secrets to a happy marriage can come from good marriage advice from family and friends, just as easily as from a professional.
By taking and applying some tips in the area of your marriage, you can stave off many problems, and relax many tense situations. The advice is meant to help you, but can only do so if you follow it. And there seems to be more of it available today than in any other decade.
By being a good listener, and being honest with yourself as well as your mate, you're on the road to learning some secrets to a happy marriage, and also learning how to implement good marriage advice into your own personal situation.
One of the so-called secrets (which really isn't a secret, it's just that couples many times don't do it), is to wait and discuss your problem after you've had time to calm down and your blood is no longer at a full boil.
Learning to dwell on the good things as opposed to the problems, many time problems can just dissipate and go away. But it takes an honest effort to hold on to the good, and let go of the unwanted and bad. Being armed with a few secrets to a happy marriage can come from good marriage advice from family and friends, just as easily as from a professional.
Good Marriage Advice Can Save Your Marriage! by Meredith Glee
The facts are true, good marriage advice can also be the source of your secrets to a happy marriage. By learning to adjust and make your marriage easier to cope with, you've managed to avoid a worse situation, and have learned a valuable secret.
By taking and applying some tips in the area of your marriage, you can stave off many problems, and relax many tense situations. The advice is meant to help you, but can only do so if you follow it. And there seems to be more of it available today than in any other decade.
By being a good listener, and being honest with yourself as well as your mate, you're on the road to learning some secrets to a happy marriage, and also learning how to implement good marriage advice into your own personal situation.
One of the so-called secrets (which really isn't a secret, it's just that couples many times don't do it), is to wait and discuss your problem after you've had time to calm down and your blood is no longer at a full boil.
Learning to dwell on the good things as opposed to the problems, many time problems can just dissipate and go away. But it takes an honest effort to hold on to the good, and let go of the unwanted and bad. Being armed with a few secrets to a happy marriage can come from good marriage advice from family and friends, just as easily as from a professional.
By taking and applying some tips in the area of your marriage, you can stave off many problems, and relax many tense situations. The advice is meant to help you, but can only do so if you follow it. And there seems to be more of it available today than in any other decade.
By being a good listener, and being honest with yourself as well as your mate, you're on the road to learning some secrets to a happy marriage, and also learning how to implement good marriage advice into your own personal situation.
One of the so-called secrets (which really isn't a secret, it's just that couples many times don't do it), is to wait and discuss your problem after you've had time to calm down and your blood is no longer at a full boil.
Learning to dwell on the good things as opposed to the problems, many time problems can just dissipate and go away. But it takes an honest effort to hold on to the good, and let go of the unwanted and bad. Being armed with a few secrets to a happy marriage can come from good marriage advice from family and friends, just as easily as from a professional.
Stop Your Divorce - Save Your Marriage by Jake Jafims
Don't give up too soon! Sometimes it seems easier to get a divorce than to work to keep your marriage alive. This mindset is at the root of many divorces. The truth is much different. As you will read later in this article, the reality of divorce is much different then you may imagine. If you and your partner are willing to learn and work to save your marriage, there is a good chance that it can be saved.
There are some very good reasons saving your marriage as well. Many people considering a divorce imagine that happiness lies on the other side of the fence. Research however suggests that this isn't true. A survey of people who have gone through divorce showed that in general they weren't happier.
Getting a divorce may be jumping the gun. A recent study showed that 2/3 of people who were unhappy in their marriage and on the verge of divorce said that they were happy in their marriage five years later.
The majority of happily married couples have experienced extended periods of unhappiness. The key point is that it is important to be committed to your marriage. Don't throw away years of happiness in order to avoid short term problems. There are many ways to stop a divorce, there are a few tip to get you started.
1. Communication is key
I'm sure you've heard it before, but it's still true. You must communicate on a deep level with your partner regularly. "On a deep level" doesn't mean discussing who is going to pick up the kids from school or trying to remember when the oil was last changed in the car. Spend some time talking about your feelings about your relationship. Discuss the things that are important, not the trivial stuff life throws at us.
2. No Relationship Is Perfect
One of the hardest lessons I've ever learned is that when fantasy becomes reality, it's never quite as good as you imagined. When you are under a lot of stress at home, it is easy to slip into an imaginary world where everything is perfect. You imagine that being with a different partner would be perfect. Perfect relationship only exist in theory. Enjoy you fantasies but don't fall into the trap of believing that they are real.
3. Seek Help To Stop Divorce
You can stop your divorce if both of you are willing to make the effort. In addition to the desire to save your marriage, you may need some outside help. Help is available. Public libraries have lots of books on the subject of marriage advice. Many products are available online. If reading isn't your thing then you may prefer these products. Live one-on-one counseling is also available. Personal counseling can be expensive but sometimes it is the only method that works.
Remember that divorce has its repercussions as well as huge financial setbacks. But more importantly, it destroys a marriage and fully ends relationships. If there is till love in your marriage, then it's possible to stop your divorce.
There are some very good reasons saving your marriage as well. Many people considering a divorce imagine that happiness lies on the other side of the fence. Research however suggests that this isn't true. A survey of people who have gone through divorce showed that in general they weren't happier.
Getting a divorce may be jumping the gun. A recent study showed that 2/3 of people who were unhappy in their marriage and on the verge of divorce said that they were happy in their marriage five years later.
The majority of happily married couples have experienced extended periods of unhappiness. The key point is that it is important to be committed to your marriage. Don't throw away years of happiness in order to avoid short term problems. There are many ways to stop a divorce, there are a few tip to get you started.
1. Communication is key
I'm sure you've heard it before, but it's still true. You must communicate on a deep level with your partner regularly. "On a deep level" doesn't mean discussing who is going to pick up the kids from school or trying to remember when the oil was last changed in the car. Spend some time talking about your feelings about your relationship. Discuss the things that are important, not the trivial stuff life throws at us.
2. No Relationship Is Perfect
One of the hardest lessons I've ever learned is that when fantasy becomes reality, it's never quite as good as you imagined. When you are under a lot of stress at home, it is easy to slip into an imaginary world where everything is perfect. You imagine that being with a different partner would be perfect. Perfect relationship only exist in theory. Enjoy you fantasies but don't fall into the trap of believing that they are real.
3. Seek Help To Stop Divorce
You can stop your divorce if both of you are willing to make the effort. In addition to the desire to save your marriage, you may need some outside help. Help is available. Public libraries have lots of books on the subject of marriage advice. Many products are available online. If reading isn't your thing then you may prefer these products. Live one-on-one counseling is also available. Personal counseling can be expensive but sometimes it is the only method that works.
Remember that divorce has its repercussions as well as huge financial setbacks. But more importantly, it destroys a marriage and fully ends relationships. If there is till love in your marriage, then it's possible to stop your divorce.
A Happier, More Sexual Marriage; A Secret For Men by Calle Zorro
Hey guys, are you interested in a little secret that can really help your marriage be a happier, more sexual union?
I thought you might be...but first, I need to "prepare" you to receive this secret...
Men like things to be DIRECT. Men like it when there is a one-to-one correlation to what they want. If they want 'X', then they want to be able to DIRECTLY push the 'X' button and immediately have an 'X' pop out.
This is why men the world over...when it comes time for love-making...well, there isn't actually much love-making...because the guy is busy PUNCHING and GRINDING the 'X' button...or in this case, his wife's clitoris/vagina...trying to DIRECTLY start her sexual motor so that the "sexual pleasure" he wants can occur.
I'm still preparing you to receive the secret...
Mostly, women are NOT direct like men are. In general, women do NOT want to push the 'X' button and have an 'X' pop out. Instead, they want to push the 'X' button which will then open the door so that they can push the 'Y' button which then paves the way so they can push the 'Z' button...which then loops them around so they can start on the 'A' button...and EVENTUALLY get back to the original 'X' button and this time FINALLY, have an 'X' pop out.
Going back to the love-making scenario...guys are driving STRAIGHT for the orgasm...their woman wishes just for ONCE that they could take the "scenic tour"...but the guy's driving...and he usually gets straight to what he wants...and his woman is left unsatisfied...dreaming...wishing...for a man who was a real lover...
Which raises the question, "What kind of lover are you?"
Ok, I think you're finally ready to receive the secret...
The reason we went through this whole direct and indirect thing is because this secret is INDIRECT...but if applied, it WILL lead to a happier, more sexual marriage...
Here it is...
LET YOUR WOMAN DO THINGS HER WAY AND TRAIN YOUR WOMAN TO LET YOU DO THINGS YOUR WAY. And, where there's overlap, work out and negotiate a mutually acceptable compromise.
Now, at first, that might seem rather obvious and not all that much of a secret so let's explore the idea...
If he doesn't watch out, a Type-A man (driving, competitive, fast-paced, active, impatient, serious) who is married to a Type-B (laid-back, relaxed, slow-paced, easy-going, patient, non-competitive, fun-oriented) woman will be constantly driving his woman to do what he wants RIGHT NOW. He'll constantly be trying to place her in competitive situations. Because of how he is, he'll be constantly trying to "make" her be like him, do things like him, and do things the way he would do them. And of course, because of how she is, the woman is trying to get the man to do things HER way.
Similarly, if a extroverted woman is married to an introverted man, she'll be constantly trying to get her husband to be more outgoing...she'll be pushing him to relax and open up and have fun in the midst of a big crowd...to socialize like she does...and the whole time, he's getting more nervous, upset, and frustrated by the second...which is why he always puts up the blocks and resistances to going out and intermingling in the first place.
There are other contrasts I could make but you get the point...and you can plainly see that the result is constant conflict...the result is a not very happy and definitely not very sexual marriage.
But, when a man and woman DECIDE to LET their companion be themselves and do things in their own way and respect and appreciate their companion for who and what they are THEN a person INDIRECTLY paves the way for a far happier, way more sexual marriage relationship.
Do you now see how this really is an important secret to a happier, more sexual marriage relationship? I'll repeat it one more time...
"Let your woman do things her way and train your woman to let you do things your way. And, where there's overlap, work out and negotiate a mutually acceptable compromise."
Copyright 2009, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if authorship credit is given to Calle Zorro and a link to MoreSexForMen.com is included with it:
I thought you might be...but first, I need to "prepare" you to receive this secret...
Men like things to be DIRECT. Men like it when there is a one-to-one correlation to what they want. If they want 'X', then they want to be able to DIRECTLY push the 'X' button and immediately have an 'X' pop out.
This is why men the world over...when it comes time for love-making...well, there isn't actually much love-making...because the guy is busy PUNCHING and GRINDING the 'X' button...or in this case, his wife's clitoris/vagina...trying to DIRECTLY start her sexual motor so that the "sexual pleasure" he wants can occur.
I'm still preparing you to receive the secret...
Mostly, women are NOT direct like men are. In general, women do NOT want to push the 'X' button and have an 'X' pop out. Instead, they want to push the 'X' button which will then open the door so that they can push the 'Y' button which then paves the way so they can push the 'Z' button...which then loops them around so they can start on the 'A' button...and EVENTUALLY get back to the original 'X' button and this time FINALLY, have an 'X' pop out.
Going back to the love-making scenario...guys are driving STRAIGHT for the orgasm...their woman wishes just for ONCE that they could take the "scenic tour"...but the guy's driving...and he usually gets straight to what he wants...and his woman is left unsatisfied...dreaming...wishing...for a man who was a real lover...
Which raises the question, "What kind of lover are you?"
Ok, I think you're finally ready to receive the secret...
The reason we went through this whole direct and indirect thing is because this secret is INDIRECT...but if applied, it WILL lead to a happier, more sexual marriage...
Here it is...
LET YOUR WOMAN DO THINGS HER WAY AND TRAIN YOUR WOMAN TO LET YOU DO THINGS YOUR WAY. And, where there's overlap, work out and negotiate a mutually acceptable compromise.
Now, at first, that might seem rather obvious and not all that much of a secret so let's explore the idea...
If he doesn't watch out, a Type-A man (driving, competitive, fast-paced, active, impatient, serious) who is married to a Type-B (laid-back, relaxed, slow-paced, easy-going, patient, non-competitive, fun-oriented) woman will be constantly driving his woman to do what he wants RIGHT NOW. He'll constantly be trying to place her in competitive situations. Because of how he is, he'll be constantly trying to "make" her be like him, do things like him, and do things the way he would do them. And of course, because of how she is, the woman is trying to get the man to do things HER way.
Similarly, if a extroverted woman is married to an introverted man, she'll be constantly trying to get her husband to be more outgoing...she'll be pushing him to relax and open up and have fun in the midst of a big crowd...to socialize like she does...and the whole time, he's getting more nervous, upset, and frustrated by the second...which is why he always puts up the blocks and resistances to going out and intermingling in the first place.
There are other contrasts I could make but you get the point...and you can plainly see that the result is constant conflict...the result is a not very happy and definitely not very sexual marriage.
But, when a man and woman DECIDE to LET their companion be themselves and do things in their own way and respect and appreciate their companion for who and what they are THEN a person INDIRECTLY paves the way for a far happier, way more sexual marriage relationship.
Do you now see how this really is an important secret to a happier, more sexual marriage relationship? I'll repeat it one more time...
"Let your woman do things her way and train your woman to let you do things your way. And, where there's overlap, work out and negotiate a mutually acceptable compromise."
Copyright 2009, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if authorship credit is given to Calle Zorro and a link to MoreSexForMen.com is included with it:
A Happier, More Sexual Marriage; A Secret For Men by Calle Zorro
Hey guys, are you interested in a little secret that can really help your marriage be a happier, more sexual union?
I thought you might be...but first, I need to "prepare" you to receive this secret...
Men like things to be DIRECT. Men like it when there is a one-to-one correlation to what they want. If they want 'X', then they want to be able to DIRECTLY push the 'X' button and immediately have an 'X' pop out.
This is why men the world over...when it comes time for love-making...well, there isn't actually much love-making...because the guy is busy PUNCHING and GRINDING the 'X' button...or in this case, his wife's clitoris/vagina...trying to DIRECTLY start her sexual motor so that the "sexual pleasure" he wants can occur.
I'm still preparing you to receive the secret...
Mostly, women are NOT direct like men are. In general, women do NOT want to push the 'X' button and have an 'X' pop out. Instead, they want to push the 'X' button which will then open the door so that they can push the 'Y' button which then paves the way so they can push the 'Z' button...which then loops them around so they can start on the 'A' button...and EVENTUALLY get back to the original 'X' button and this time FINALLY, have an 'X' pop out.
Going back to the love-making scenario...guys are driving STRAIGHT for the orgasm...their woman wishes just for ONCE that they could take the "scenic tour"...but the guy's driving...and he usually gets straight to what he wants...and his woman is left unsatisfied...dreaming...wishing...for a man who was a real lover...
Which raises the question, "What kind of lover are you?"
Ok, I think you're finally ready to receive the secret...
The reason we went through this whole direct and indirect thing is because this secret is INDIRECT...but if applied, it WILL lead to a happier, more sexual marriage...
Here it is...
LET YOUR WOMAN DO THINGS HER WAY AND TRAIN YOUR WOMAN TO LET YOU DO THINGS YOUR WAY. And, where there's overlap, work out and negotiate a mutually acceptable compromise.
Now, at first, that might seem rather obvious and not all that much of a secret so let's explore the idea...
If he doesn't watch out, a Type-A man (driving, competitive, fast-paced, active, impatient, serious) who is married to a Type-B (laid-back, relaxed, slow-paced, easy-going, patient, non-competitive, fun-oriented) woman will be constantly driving his woman to do what he wants RIGHT NOW. He'll constantly be trying to place her in competitive situations. Because of how he is, he'll be constantly trying to "make" her be like him, do things like him, and do things the way he would do them. And of course, because of how she is, the woman is trying to get the man to do things HER way.
Similarly, if a extroverted woman is married to an introverted man, she'll be constantly trying to get her husband to be more outgoing...she'll be pushing him to relax and open up and have fun in the midst of a big crowd...to socialize like she does...and the whole time, he's getting more nervous, upset, and frustrated by the second...which is why he always puts up the blocks and resistances to going out and intermingling in the first place.
There are other contrasts I could make but you get the point...and you can plainly see that the result is constant conflict...the result is a not very happy and definitely not very sexual marriage.
But, when a man and woman DECIDE to LET their companion be themselves and do things in their own way and respect and appreciate their companion for who and what they are THEN a person INDIRECTLY paves the way for a far happier, way more sexual marriage relationship.
Do you now see how this really is an important secret to a happier, more sexual marriage relationship? I'll repeat it one more time...
"Let your woman do things her way and train your woman to let you do things your way. And, where there's overlap, work out and negotiate a mutually acceptable compromise."
Copyright 2009, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if authorship credit is given to Calle Zorro and a link to MoreSexForMen.com is included with it:
I thought you might be...but first, I need to "prepare" you to receive this secret...
Men like things to be DIRECT. Men like it when there is a one-to-one correlation to what they want. If they want 'X', then they want to be able to DIRECTLY push the 'X' button and immediately have an 'X' pop out.
This is why men the world over...when it comes time for love-making...well, there isn't actually much love-making...because the guy is busy PUNCHING and GRINDING the 'X' button...or in this case, his wife's clitoris/vagina...trying to DIRECTLY start her sexual motor so that the "sexual pleasure" he wants can occur.
I'm still preparing you to receive the secret...
Mostly, women are NOT direct like men are. In general, women do NOT want to push the 'X' button and have an 'X' pop out. Instead, they want to push the 'X' button which will then open the door so that they can push the 'Y' button which then paves the way so they can push the 'Z' button...which then loops them around so they can start on the 'A' button...and EVENTUALLY get back to the original 'X' button and this time FINALLY, have an 'X' pop out.
Going back to the love-making scenario...guys are driving STRAIGHT for the orgasm...their woman wishes just for ONCE that they could take the "scenic tour"...but the guy's driving...and he usually gets straight to what he wants...and his woman is left unsatisfied...dreaming...wishing...for a man who was a real lover...
Which raises the question, "What kind of lover are you?"
Ok, I think you're finally ready to receive the secret...
The reason we went through this whole direct and indirect thing is because this secret is INDIRECT...but if applied, it WILL lead to a happier, more sexual marriage...
Here it is...
LET YOUR WOMAN DO THINGS HER WAY AND TRAIN YOUR WOMAN TO LET YOU DO THINGS YOUR WAY. And, where there's overlap, work out and negotiate a mutually acceptable compromise.
Now, at first, that might seem rather obvious and not all that much of a secret so let's explore the idea...
If he doesn't watch out, a Type-A man (driving, competitive, fast-paced, active, impatient, serious) who is married to a Type-B (laid-back, relaxed, slow-paced, easy-going, patient, non-competitive, fun-oriented) woman will be constantly driving his woman to do what he wants RIGHT NOW. He'll constantly be trying to place her in competitive situations. Because of how he is, he'll be constantly trying to "make" her be like him, do things like him, and do things the way he would do them. And of course, because of how she is, the woman is trying to get the man to do things HER way.
Similarly, if a extroverted woman is married to an introverted man, she'll be constantly trying to get her husband to be more outgoing...she'll be pushing him to relax and open up and have fun in the midst of a big crowd...to socialize like she does...and the whole time, he's getting more nervous, upset, and frustrated by the second...which is why he always puts up the blocks and resistances to going out and intermingling in the first place.
There are other contrasts I could make but you get the point...and you can plainly see that the result is constant conflict...the result is a not very happy and definitely not very sexual marriage.
But, when a man and woman DECIDE to LET their companion be themselves and do things in their own way and respect and appreciate their companion for who and what they are THEN a person INDIRECTLY paves the way for a far happier, way more sexual marriage relationship.
Do you now see how this really is an important secret to a happier, more sexual marriage relationship? I'll repeat it one more time...
"Let your woman do things her way and train your woman to let you do things your way. And, where there's overlap, work out and negotiate a mutually acceptable compromise."
Copyright 2009, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if authorship credit is given to Calle Zorro and a link to MoreSexForMen.com is included with it:
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