Friday, October 16, 2009

Should I Discuss Finances Before Marriage?

So you plan on getting married soon, and there’s just something that you’ve had on your mind, but you just don’t know what you should do or how you should say it. That would be the questions you have concerning your future spouse’s finances. You really need to know something about the finances before you say I do! You really don’t know how your future spouse has paid their bills and you just need to know now before it becomes a problem later on.

Well, as the old saying goes you can't live on love, you need money to survive! Finance questions before marriage will help you and your future partner understand where you both are financially before marriage.

If your future spouse is not able to contribute financially, you will know this before you say your vows. That is why finance questions before marriage is so important!

How do I find out about my future spouse's finances? You can find out by asking your future spouse, some or all of the following questions:

How much money do you earn? Can I see a copy of your credit report and score? Do you pay your bills on time? What is the balance on your outstanding bills? Have you ever filed for bankruptcy and do you have any judgements against you?

Do you pay child support? Do you have a savings account,insurance,investments and a retirement plan? Once we get married, will we both be able to spend freely? If we purchase a home will we own the home jointly?

Discussing your finances before marriage is important for future spouses who are planning to get married. It is a difficult subject for couples to discuss, however, it is crucial in maintaining a good relationship.

It may be beneficial to you and your future spouse to discuss your finances before saying your vows. It's a good idea that you both are on the same page about how your finances are before the marriage and what your future goals will be for your finances. This may assist you both in getting past one of your most important hurdles for a marriage!

Discussing your finances prior to marriage, should assist you and your future spouse on keeping your marriage on track and in a positive direction for your future goals.

Finance is one of the most critical key components of a marriage. In many instances, marriages have dissolved due to the fact that couples have not discussed their finances prior to the marriage taking place. So make sure you find out about your future spouses finances before you get married, so this may not become a problem for you!

Nocita Carter creates websites with tips on various subjects including personal finance tips for you http://www.personal-finance-tips-for-you.com

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Bringing Debts into a Marriage

Are you a credit card junkie? Credit card debt can often be a big, deep, dark secret for someone preparing for marriage. It’s an uncomfortable subject to talk about. Do you bring it up before or after he slips the engagement ring on your finger (or before you slip it onto hers)? Or do you wait until after all the marriage preparations are in place?

If there are large differences in your assets and liabilities, it may not be such a hot idea to get a joint bank account. Furthermore, you may want to sign a prenuptial agreement just to be clear about what came before your marriage, and what came after.

How you plan your wedding budget will largely determine how you approach money management as a married couple, in the long term. Wedding costs, by themselves can run up quite a tab. If you are noticing conflicts in the early stages of your joint money management, then get some financial marriage advice or premarital counseling.

Couple counseling can be just as much a part of a healthy marriage as family or financial planning is. It’s a way of ensuring solid communication skills from the get go; and that’s important when debts and assets are about to be split right down the middle.

Nathan Dawson writes for http://www.marriedfinances.com and http://www.successfulmarriageresource.com, great online sources for marriage and finance information.

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Money and Marriage 101

Q. Is a prenuptial agreement necessary?

A. Legally speaking, marriage splits your combined assets and liabilities right down the middle. Everything gets shared. Therefore, a prenuptial agreement is sometimes very necessary, particularly when a married man or woman has assets or liabilities that will greatly exceed that of his or her spouse. To make a decision that is right for the both of you, consult with a financial planner who is familiar with the marriage laws in your state.

Q. What about opening a joint bank account?

A. Since all your money will in essence be merged together, opening a joint bank account can make paying bills much simpler. This is particularly true of bills for things that you own and share as a married couple, such as a house or insurance. However, it is also a good idea to budget some spending money to put into your own personal accounts.

Q. What is the average wedding cost?

A. Marriage preparation can be really hectic and stressful, depending on how fancy you want to get. Add the stress of trying to stick to a wedding budget, and you could be in for a rocky beginning. The average wedding cost is more than $15,000. This may be comfortable for you, or maybe not. Set a realistic budget taking into account your debts and your income.

Q. My spouse is a spender and I’m a saver. Will we ever agree?

A. A good marriage is about finding balance; but most of all, it is about survival. That means being less selfish, being willing to negotiate and to compromise. If you find yourself at odds about your spending habits, get premarital counseling. Couple counseling can open the lines of communication. In the long-run, good communication is the key to successful financial and family planning.

Nathan Dawson writes for http://www.marriedfinances.com and http://www.successfulmarriageresource.com, great online sources for marriage and finance information.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nathan_Dawson

Want to Be a Perfect Bride?

Marrying? Are your parents looking for a perfect groom? Well, it's time you seriously think about how to present yourself as a perfect bride. Everyone's Expectations might be high and you need to really prepare yourself for the higher responsibilities and expectations that you need to face as a bride and also as a wife of someone.

Weddings are finalized in the heaven we believe, but in reality what makes a marriage happen is social status, the power of money, a good job and dowry etc. And this excludes the love marriages which are finalized by the couple themselves irrespective of these factors. The arranged marriage set up thus revolves around a whole set of predefined ideas and our morals.

A normal middle class family will want their daughter in law to cook, help with the domestic choirs and also work if she is educated. The needs and preferences of one vary but still the bride needs to be more of a homemaker than a company executive. Whatever high post she might hold in her company is of no use when she reaches home. She has to personally fend for her family and look after their welfare. This is how Indian family system works so far.

So a bride should horn her cooking skills to impress her spouse and her family. This creates a lasting impression on their minds. As the famous saying goes, "the way to a man's heart is through his tummy", you can easily make your man hopelessly dependant on you for your mouth sizzling and exotic dishes that you might cook for him.

Bride must also develop her personality apart from cooking and other house works. Not just physical personality, but also her mannerisms and attitude as well. She must be knowledgeable about family traditions and customs and must know how to respect the elders visiting the family. She must learn how to keep her things in order, manage the finance and keep her surroundings neat and clean.

Working women must be ready to manage their times between their work and home. It is an added responsibility no doubt, and one must be matured enough to handle difficult conditions for the sake of making this great Indian institution called marriage. After all it is all about human understanding and sacrifice. When you respect the system and work to keep it functioning then nothing can deter your confidence.

Simran Jain writes on behalf of matrimonyhouse.com, India's fastest growing matrimonial website. http://matrimonyhouse.com enables users to create and search Indian matrimony profile on the website. Registering, Searching, and Contacting prospective groom and bride are absolutely free.

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What Guys Think About Marriage

It might come as a complete shock to learn that guys don't think much about marriage when they meet a woman. A man is generally thinking about ways to keep his freedom not lose it. Generally it is because of the way men are wired to think not necessarily because he's being selfish.

Women learn at a very early age to lose their freedom. We learn to say, "Yes" instead of "No" We learn to go with the flow and not rock the boat.

But this is exactly the kind of attitude that cause women to FAIL in their relationships. Women are failing because they find it hard to say "No."

Women often feel guilty and give in. It is very rare to find a woman who does not want to lose her freedom. I actually believe we are at a biological disadvantage when it comes to relationships but I'm not alluding to this by playing the victim.

The reason I believe this, we are wired to be nurturers. Nurturers invest more. They give from pain. It's the way evolution designed it for human survival. So a woman has to constantly fight against the natural tendency to overcompensate because she needs security.

The struggle with men and commitment will be an ongoing one to women who don't understand how to make their nature work to their advantage. The woman who give in because she loves even when a man isn't giving is always going to lose.

Men marry women who insist on marriage and who are willing to move on if a man does not share the same desire. To bring a man to marriage, he must feel that the woman can control her feminine desire to lock him down so that commitment becomes his idea, not hers.

If you cannot control your feminine desire to want security, men see this trait as a disadvantage and instead of becoming an assest, you become a liability.

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How to Make Sure That Your Marriage Doesn't End in Divorce

The sheer number of couples that are getting a divorce are on the rise. Many of these people who choose divorce as a means to solve their problems just don't have the right approach when it comes to taking care of their marriage and doing what absolutely needs to be done in order to have a relationship that is healthy and works for both people involved.

The first and perhaps most basic step in getting your marriage back on track is to discuss what issues there are between the two of you and get them out on the table. Many times in a marriage, over the years problems can become swept underneath the rug and not get discussed, which leads to bitterness and resentment that can tear a marriage apart.

This is why it is so important to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and ideas to each other on a regular basis. If you find that you both lead hectic lives with hardly any time to do this, then you have to start buckling down and making time. It can be first thing in the morning, in the middle of the day, or at night before bed. You just need to devote yourselves to coming up with a plan to talk regularly about what problems you have and possible solutions.

When you are having these discussions, it is extremely important to not get carried away and start fighting. There is a very distinct line between discussing something and arguing about something. You start to argue when yelling, screaming, and pointing fingers comes up. You want to avoid all of this because it is poisonous to any relationship and will only serve to further your problems and set you behind in your goals. Make sure that you are always communicating and doing so well, meaning being good listeners and conveying all of your thoughts and feelings in a clear and concise way.

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5 Actionable Tips to Save a Distressed Marriage

There is a ton of the device out there on how to save a marriage that is in difficulty. A lot of it can be vague philosophy and not too practical. I'm the type of person who thinks simple is better. I love little numbered lists or bullet points, so without further preamble here are five actionable tips that you can use that may smooth out some rough spots in your marriage relationship.


1. Work on yourself first.

I'll bet you did not like me starting off with that one. Did you think we were going to fix the other person? The only thing you can really control in the relationship is yourself, in the present moment. So start off by looking at what needs to be improved in you. The object here is to bring a better used to the relationship. If you clean up your side of the street, chances are the reactions of your partner will be positive and they will meet you halfway. It might be a good idea to chill out for a little while. Instead of turning up the pressure toward problem resolution, withdraw, and get a little introspective into your own attitudes and contributions to the relationship, both positive and negative.

2. Practice a timeout.

I know you're not a child, and you do not have to go to your room and sulk. But it might be a good idea to take a little time for yourself away from the relationship. If things had been heating up lately it may be a good idea to cool off for a while. Approach problems with less emotion and more rational thought. I know that is easier said than done but sometimes emotions can cloud the facts. One great exercise start focusing on the positive, remember what it was like to be in love with your spouse you must have seen something positive then. I bet if you look you will see those same qualities now, perhaps just in a different light.

3. Spend more time with each other.

If the cooling off period does not seem appropriate, or you have done that already, try investing a little time in the relationship. Put the work on hold and all the distractions in your life aside for a while and concentrate on that love of your life. A thoughtful gift kind comment and really seen your partner as a person whom you love can shed a whole new light on things. It is so easy in a hostile bustle of modern day living to start taking your partner for granted. This is a death knell on relationships. This may sound a little strange but if your life is very busy actually schedule time to be with your partner and make it a priority to follow through on. Being taken for granted is often the catalyst that starts an avalanche of marital problems.


4. Solve problems.

One of the worst problem solving skills of all time get one of the most common is to simply take a problem and ignore it and hope it goes away. That has never worked and I don't think it ever will. If problems and emotions are suppressed or repress they just gather pressure and or erupt sooner or later like a volcano.

Brainstorm problems together rather than making unilateral decisions. There is an almost lost art of communicating it goes something like this: I talk, you listen. You talk, I listen. We exchange feedback and compromise. Sounds simple doesn't it?

5. Use patience

There truly are no quick fixes on saving a marriage or relationship. Usually problems have arisen slowly and over time by emotional, behavioral, and attitude shifts. It will take conscious effort to bring things back into line. The important part is to make some progress forward and not worry so much about the speed with which changes are occurring. Sometimes small efforts can effect the changes when applied consistently over time.

We hope you have found these quick tips actionable and helpful enough to get your relationship back on track. Remember, the thought is just a thought, an emotion is just an emotion, nothing really happens until you take action.

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Thank You

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Sanctity Of Marriage

What do we mean by the word “sanctity” it means, “the quality of being sacred or holy. The sacredness of marriage should be revered as a cru...