Stopping a Husband From Filing For Divorce - Can You? by Leslie Cane

I often get emails asking for my advice on how to stop a husband from either filing for or from going through with a divorce. I understand the urgency of these requests very well. I was in the situation myself a few years ago and I know that these wives think that if a divorce is begun or actually takes place, then the marriage is over for good. There's no more cards to deal or games to play. It's over for good and there's not going to be anything that you can do about it. So, the thinking goes, it's better to do everything in your power to reverse this right now, before the divorce actually happens.

This thinking is very familiar to me, but I also know from experience that it will make things that are ill advised seem completely logical at the time. This is a very dangerous place to be because you are very vulnerable to doing or saying things that you will later come to regret. This is make or break time, no doubt, but don't allow this to convince you that you need to participate in desperate behaviors that are only going to make things worse. I'll discuss this more in the following article.

Legal Maneuvering Is Often Not The Answer. Only Your Attorney Will Win: Many women will tell me things like: "well I'm just going to have my attorney contest the divorce," or "I'm just going to tell my attorney to stall;" or "I will refuse to accept the divorce papers." The thinking behind this is often that you can blame all of this on your attorney and you've bought yourself the time that you need.

But, the problem here is that this is only going to annoy your husband. He's going to see you as an adversary and he's only going to want to make this process end that much sooner. He's going to be annoyed with you and do everything in his power to avoid you. This isn't what you want.

And, your attorney can attempt to stall but this can only go on for so long (and it will be quite expensive even though you still reach the same end.) And as the end is building up, you're only getting further and further away from your husband, not closer. Avoiding being served will do you no good. I'm not an attorney but it is my understanding that your husband can ask for summary judgment most of the time.

Often trying to avoid, delay, or hide from this situation is not going to make it go away. It's best to just take a good hard luck it the reality of the situation, accept it as it is right now, and then calmly decide the best way for you to change it while making sure that you appear (and that he perceives you) in the most favorable way possible.

Understanding That If You Can Change The Perception, You Can Change The Reality: Often people go about stopping the divorce backward. They want to skip to the part where they change the reality of the situation and they don't really think it through or do anything to change the situation. They think that just because they want their husband to change his mind, that they must then force this upon him through whatever means necessary. In the end, he's only going to resent you for this. Even if he does consider "giving in," he will not have made this decision on his own, so this decision is less likely to be lasting.

Your best bet is to actually change his perception of you and of the marriage. You must allow him to see that you are not who he thought and that the marriage is not what he thought. In short, you must change his perception before you even begin to worry about the reality of the situation. But, how can you do this when he's made up his mind and has threatened to begin the divorce process? You make every single encounter and interaction count, but you don't let your desperation or your plan show. You remember who and what he wants. You must do everything in your power to paint yourself as a woman of dignity and respect who values his happiness enough to be calm and rational. You show him that the woman he first fell in love with is still right in front of him. You change his perception from one of annoyance and avoidance to one of curiosity and light heartedness.

Stepping Back to Move Closer: As you probably suspect, this takes some doing and some balancing. You can't come on too strong, but you must make yourself visible. You must show him that you want him to be happy, but you don't just want to throw in the towel and give up. There is a fine line between all of these things. At the end of the day, you must strike a balance and you must look to him for how to best do this. There will likely be some days where he is more receptive than others. On the days where he is not, you should go about doing the things that make you happy, make you appear strong, and make you appear attractive. Often, this silence and this distance will create a little curiosity on his part and so he will be the one who starts to move closer. Again, make sure that you are striking that balance. Don't rush or push. Watch for and respond to his cues and create the distance when you need to.

Wives are understandably reluctant to experience the distance that I'm talking about, but it's often this space that will allow him the perspective that he needs. And when he pauses for this perceptive, make sure that you've painted yourself in the best light. And, hopefully I've shown you that fighting him every step of the way here is not the way to do that.

Get Your Ex Back - Do it Now in 3 Easy Steps by H.L Archer

One thing that you should remember about getting your ex back is this. You still have ties to them. No one else has the intimate knowledge of your ex like you do. You know what they like and what they don't like. You know what turns them on and what turns them off.

You must stop and realize how powerful this knowledge is going to be in the quest to get them back. You know them inside and out. All the little secrets. This puts you at a great advantage.

On the other hand, your ex partner knows you and all of your good points and all of your bad points. This could put you at a disadvantage unless you use all of this intimate knowledge of each other in the right way. Here's what you should do:

1. Make contact. If the breakup has been awhile, start now. If the breakup has just happened, don't be too hasty, allow for a cooling off period. When the time is right, call them or arrange through a friend to just happen to run into them.

2. Be cheerful and act as nothing had happened between you. Make cheerful small talk and then let it stay that way for a few days.

3. Contact them again. Start with small talk again and then bring into the conversation about having been to a favorite restaurant of your ex partner. Tell them that you thought of them and wondered if they would like to go there. If they accept, you are half way home.

Here's where you put all of this inside knowledge of them to work. You know what you did when the two of you were first dating. Do the same things again. It worked then and it will work now.

Play to the things they like and steer clear of the things that they don't like. Be at your best. Remember you are dating again and you want only your best side to show. Do these things and you will come out a winner and get your ex back

How to Get Your Ex Back If They Dumped You - Stop Chasing Your Ex & Do This Right Away by Joson Leading

It is a terrible feeling to get dumped. If you are one of those unlucky ones, do not let it shatter your confidence. Remember that it is an ideal opportunity to do a lot of new things in your life. This will also go a long way in getting your ex to get back again as you will be a far more interesting person!

Get on with life.
Keep going on as you always have. Though it is tough as your heart is surely breaking, it must be done. Remember at no point should your ex feel that he/she has affected your life in such a terrible manner that you cannot even function! This will be the victory he/she is looking for, and will also give your ex a sense of self importance.

Act as though you are pleased
Act as though the break up was the best thing that happened to you! When you continue with your routine and find time for other activities too, you will find that your ex will be wondering how easy it has been for you to move on. This will make him/her burn with envy.

Work on how you look
You need to realize that you should look hotter than you ever did! When your ex sees you he/she needs to do a double take! You must remember to be courteous and polite always. This will make him/her wonder just why he/she let you go! Being haughty or arrogant will make your ex turn away. Be nice at all times and he/she will realize the mistake he/she has made.

A little jealously
Attend parties with all the new friends you have made. Make sure you go where you know your ex will be present. He will burn with rage when he/she sees the new improved you surrounded by a throng of potential suitor's .Spare a glance and a smile for him/her, just to let him/her know you still care.

How to Fix a Broken Relationship - Learn the Best Way to Fix Your Relationship Easily by Tony Eboulondzi

First of all make a conscious effort to note the good things you like about your partner or things he/she doesn't like. Those who need sexual exclusivity should partner with the same unless they're flexible enough to deal with it in other ways.

Those who do not need sexual exclusivity find their way to honor the marriage in other fashions. If you have been neglecting your relationship too much, then spending quality time over a weekend or longer with your partner can repair much of the damage. This is the time to discuss issues that may have been troubling you both in order to find the right solutions.

This is so that it will be able to suit you both without causing too much upheaval in your careers, and it may also be necessary for your partner to arrange vacation time as well. Planning your save a relationship get away together can be exciting in itself and this alone will be the beginnings of bringing you back closer together. I can show you exactly how to win back your partner and re-ignite the passion in your once happy relationship.

Once you and your partner have smoothed things out, be sure to take things slowly. Rushing back into things can make your relationship an easy target to the same problems that caused your rockiness in the first place.

It is what causes many of the other emotional problems that come up when you find out your partner has cheated on you. You can renew your bonds by taking time out at a save a relationship getaway that you can either plan together or spring as a surprise for your partner.

Make a conscious effort to note the good things you like about your partner or things they do. It is wonderful when you can be best friends with your partner, but sometimes the friendship is doing so well that it receives all the focus, while in the meantime the romance (being in love) has been neglected.

If you are not careful, in time, you will start looking at each other as close buddies and no longer be that passionate couple you started as. This is the ideal kind of gift to offer your partner, because it absolutely affirms your intimacy.

Have you ever tried to communicate with your partner or solve a problem in the middle of a relationship crisis? She wanted deep soulful connection and true partnership. He ran from the connection and she was angry with that most of the time. This comes from the fact that your partner respects you and is willing to help you in your problems. But when you start avoiding your partner, remain silent to his / her problems; it can quickly deteriorate your relationship.

Sometimes one partner's affairs may have more to do with their own character flaws than with issues in the relationship. Some people are cheaters, plain and simple. Yes, you can learn how to share with your partner that what they do isn't acceptable to you. But wouldn't you prefer a relationship full of love and passion.

During strife in a relationship an important factor is to allow your partner to have space to sort out their own feelings as well. This may also mean letting him/her visit family or friends or get away for a while on their own so that they can also sort out their own feelings.

Want to Save Your Marriage? - Find Out How by kylar mettrnich

Is you marriage in trouble? Do you want to save your marriage? Then you are on the right track by clicking on this article and reading it. As they say, there is no such thing as a coincidence and the fact that you are reading this article right now may have some significance. First of all, you must congratulate yourself from wanting to save your marriage. That only means that you have taken the first important step in salvaging a relationship. Give yourself a pat on the back. Of course it is not right to stop right there. Take the other steps. If you don't know what they are then this article will be a big help for you.

Next Step: Find the Problem. Now that you have acknowledged that there is a problem in your relationship then the next logical step is to determine what the problem is. Every troubled marriage has a root cause and that is what you should find. One of the best places to look for clues are your differences, the differences that come up every time you and your spouse argue with each other. There must be an underlying theme to all your fights. Once you recall what it is, then you already know the main problem in your relationship. Then it is time to move on to the next step.

Next Step: Fix the Problem. OK, to fix the problem is easier said than done. Sometimes though, the solutions to our problems are right under your noses. The reason why many couples are not taking the necessary steps to solve their marital problems is because either they are too lazy or too scared to do so. Implementing solutions require effort and most human being avoid exerting effort. If only people would be able to fight off the emotional inertia that is stopping them from trying out the solutions to solve their problems then there would be significantly less divorce cases all over the world.

Final Step: The Follow Up. If you were successful in bringing life back to your marriage do not think for a moment that the work is done. In fact, you have only just began. You must stand vigilant never to allow small problem to become big issue. Failure to do this may result in another break up in the future. If you want to save your marriage, then you will be willing to work on it every single day.

If you want to save your marriage then remember these steps.

It is a fact that marital problems and divorces have become quite common in recent years. What people fail to take account are the number of couples that were able to fix their marriages and are now living happy lives together. If you are currently having problems with your own marriage, do not lose hope.

How to Know If Your Marriage is Not Working by leslie Cane

I often have people ask me how to tell or know for sure if their marriage isn't working or is in trouble. I've even had people ask me to develop a quiz for them to take to determine whether their marriage is working or not. But, I find that the people who are asking this question really don't need any quiz and really do know in their hearts that something is wrong. If they didn't, they wouldn't be on the Internet researching this topic. Because honestly, people in healthy marriages don't research marriages that aren't working. Something must be behind this concern and this research. I believe that people often do know the truth, but they want a third party to confirm what they already know. So, in the following article, I will list some signs of marriages that just aren't working so that you can compare yours and see if any of these descriptions ring any bells.

You Notice Or Feel A Lack Of Intimacy (Either Physical Or Emotional): Often the first thing to go in a troubled marriage is physical intimacy or sex. And often people will have all sorts of justifications for this, like: "we don't have as much time because of the kids," or "we aren't as young anymore," or "sex is not as important in our relationship as it used to be."

All of these may well be valid arguments and they may be absolutely true. But, the physical part of your marriage is absolutely indicative of the emotional part. If something is wrong in the bedroom, then it's generally true that something is wrong somewhere else. The emotional connection is lacking and is manifesting itself physically. Married couples who are very closely bonded and firing on all cylinders want to express these feelings physically and they often will simply find the time. I often answer folks who tell me that they are too busy for sex how much time they find for other priorities in their lives. Because these same folks often find the time for a manicure, round of golf, or other activities that they are simply putting first.

You No Longer Have Anything "Real" To Talk About. You May Feel You Have Nothing In Common Anymore: People who write to me and ask whether their marriage is in trouble or not will often tell me that the two of them "don't really talk anymore." Often, they'll find that when they are alone together, the conversation lags or they find themselves only talking about the kids or the shared business or household. Often though, they can often remember a time (when they were first dating or married) that they used to burn up the phone lines and talk for hours, but those days are long gone.

I often hear phrases like "it's like we've run out of things to say," or "we have absolutely nothing in common anymore," and "he tunes me out;" or "she bores me to tears;" or "her nagging sounds just like my mother's and it grates on me horribly."

Truthfully, all of these are a symptom of the disconnect that I discussed earlier. People often feel that they, or their partner, have "changed." I almost never buy this. Sure, people can change their priorities, their outlook, and their perceptions, but I almost never buy that someone changes the core of who they are or changes so drastically as to be so different that they no longer resemble their former selves.

What has happened instead is that it's the circumstances, not the people, who have changed. Children and jobs make your priorities and the allocation of your time different and this in turn brings about a different outcome in your marriage, but this does not mean that your partner (or even you) have changed who you were.

You're Fighting About The Same Old Things And Can Never More Past It: One of the more easy to recognize signs that a marriage is just not working is that the two of you seem to always be having the same old fight because you are never able to resolve the biggest issues in your marriage once and for all.

People who have close and happy marriages are able to navigate and solve their martial problems pretty definitively so that the resentment and anger do not have too long to fester and to continue manifesting themselves to cause more damage. This doesn't mean that they don't have to "work" at their marriage. They do, but they are able to keep things in perspective and to work together to get through them for good rather than holding back or continuing to bring up the old, damaging issues that couples in crisis can not seem to move past.

The Laughter And Fun Is Gone: You may be rereading what I just wrote or think that I've lost my mind, but truly happy families and households place humor and having fun together as a very high priority. If you notice couples who are newlyweds or newly in love and you watch them for any length of time you will see a lot of flirting and laughing going on because they enjoy being together, they bring out the best in each other, and people who are happy in their relationships have a lot to smile about. What's the point really if you aren't enjoying yourself and having fun?

If you can't deny that your household has become sullen, take a look at how many fun or lighthearted activities you and your spouse are engaging in. Because people whose marriages are in trouble will often avoid these kinds of activities because they have become awkward and the payoff just isn't there anymore.

If you've seen any of these "warning signs," this doesn't mean that you're one step away from divorce or that these problems can not be fixed. It just means that your marriage could use some definite improvement and it certainly doesn't make any sense to wait to address this. Admitting that their is room for change is the first step toward making things right.

How to Know If Your Marriage is Not Working by leslie Cane

I often have people ask me how to tell or know for sure if their marriage isn't working or is in trouble. I've even had people ask me to develop a quiz for them to take to determine whether their marriage is working or not. But, I find that the people who are asking this question really don't need any quiz and really do know in their hearts that something is wrong. If they didn't, they wouldn't be on the Internet researching this topic. Because honestly, people in healthy marriages don't research marriages that aren't working. Something must be behind this concern and this research. I believe that people often do know the truth, but they want a third party to confirm what they already know. So, in the following article, I will list some signs of marriages that just aren't working so that you can compare yours and see if any of these descriptions ring any bells.

You Notice Or Feel A Lack Of Intimacy (Either Physical Or Emotional): Often the first thing to go in a troubled marriage is physical intimacy or sex. And often people will have all sorts of justifications for this, like: "we don't have as much time because of the kids," or "we aren't as young anymore," or "sex is not as important in our relationship as it used to be."

All of these may well be valid arguments and they may be absolutely true. But, the physical part of your marriage is absolutely indicative of the emotional part. If something is wrong in the bedroom, then it's generally true that something is wrong somewhere else. The emotional connection is lacking and is manifesting itself physically. Married couples who are very closely bonded and firing on all cylinders want to express these feelings physically and they often will simply find the time. I often answer folks who tell me that they are too busy for sex how much time they find for other priorities in their lives. Because these same folks often find the time for a manicure, round of golf, or other activities that they are simply putting first.

You No Longer Have Anything "Real" To Talk About. You May Feel You Have Nothing In Common Anymore: People who write to me and ask whether their marriage is in trouble or not will often tell me that the two of them "don't really talk anymore." Often, they'll find that when they are alone together, the conversation lags or they find themselves only talking about the kids or the shared business or household. Often though, they can often remember a time (when they were first dating or married) that they used to burn up the phone lines and talk for hours, but those days are long gone.

I often hear phrases like "it's like we've run out of things to say," or "we have absolutely nothing in common anymore," and "he tunes me out;" or "she bores me to tears;" or "her nagging sounds just like my mother's and it grates on me horribly."

Truthfully, all of these are a symptom of the disconnect that I discussed earlier. People often feel that they, or their partner, have "changed." I almost never buy this. Sure, people can change their priorities, their outlook, and their perceptions, but I almost never buy that someone changes the core of who they are or changes so drastically as to be so different that they no longer resemble their former selves.

What has happened instead is that it's the circumstances, not the people, who have changed. Children and jobs make your priorities and the allocation of your time different and this in turn brings about a different outcome in your marriage, but this does not mean that your partner (or even you) have changed who you were.

You're Fighting About The Same Old Things And Can Never More Past It: One of the more easy to recognize signs that a marriage is just not working is that the two of you seem to always be having the same old fight because you are never able to resolve the biggest issues in your marriage once and for all.

People who have close and happy marriages are able to navigate and solve their martial problems pretty definitively so that the resentment and anger do not have too long to fester and to continue manifesting themselves to cause more damage. This doesn't mean that they don't have to "work" at their marriage. They do, but they are able to keep things in perspective and to work together to get through them for good rather than holding back or continuing to bring up the old, damaging issues that couples in crisis can not seem to move past.

The Laughter And Fun Is Gone: You may be rereading what I just wrote or think that I've lost my mind, but truly happy families and households place humor and having fun together as a very high priority. If you notice couples who are newlyweds or newly in love and you watch them for any length of time you will see a lot of flirting and laughing going on because they enjoy being together, they bring out the best in each other, and people who are happy in their relationships have a lot to smile about. What's the point really if you aren't enjoying yourself and having fun?

If you can't deny that your household has become sullen, take a look at how many fun or lighthearted activities you and your spouse are engaging in. Because people whose marriages are in trouble will often avoid these kinds of activities because they have become awkward and the payoff just isn't there anymore.

If you've seen any of these "warning signs," this doesn't mean that you're one step away from divorce or that these problems can not be fixed. It just means that your marriage could use some definite improvement and it certainly doesn't make any sense to wait to address this. Admitting that their is room for change is the first step toward making things right.