Did you know that 43% of all married couples argue over money issues, making it the major reason couples fight? If you and your spouse handle money differently, now is the time to talk, establish expectations, and draw up a financial plan.
Money is a very big part of a marriage. Having enough to spend, and to do the things each wants to do, is important to both parties. When couples are not able to do that, then other issues pop up in the relationship. When husband and wife are not on the same page as far as family finances go, other difficulties inevitably arise.
Effective communication often emerges as the most difficult obstacle to establishing goals and expectations, and developing a financial plan. Many of us have been taught during childhood that discussing money is somehow inappropriate. Couples must understand that it is not only appropriate but absolutely necessary to managing finances in a marriage. Just as finances must be planned in a business, they must also be planned in a marriage. You must communicate in spite of any difficulty.
For example, how do you get your spouse to understand that he or she will need to curb their spending habits so that you both can begin putting money away?
There s got to be a viable agreement, because most couples discover that a lack of money, a lack of spending control, or a lack of fall-back savings eventually causes other problems in a marriage. Little things grow into much bigger things. However, as emphasized by Daniel Smith a noted financial expert cited in The Marriage Medics, future arguments over finances can be avoided by simply communicating, creating an understanding of expectations, setting objectives and agreeing on a financial roadmap.
The Marriage Medics outlines the following financial plan of attack for couples of any age:
1. Stop living beyond your means.
2. Treat the household like a business.
3. Create an income-and-expense statement.
4. Create a balance sheet.
5. Create a budget.
6. Figure out how to pay down your debt. Agree on a plan of action in which you both share equally in cutbacks.
7. Find ways to cut expenses.
8. Go on a debt diet starting with the little stuff.
9. Have only one credit card for your entire family.
10. Celebrate when you pay off a debt.
There are many resources for help in creating family budgets and living within them. For instance, Jim Miller, a Registered Investment Advisor, author of Retire Dollar Smart, and the host of a financial advice radio show is an excellent source. In sum, married couples have an important opportunity to plant the seeds for a healthy marriage by simply talking with each other, being realistic about expectations, and making that financial plan. Money matters!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Managing Household Finances as a Couple.by Sheri & Bob Stritof
It doesn't make any difference if you have money or if you don't have money. If the two of you have different spending habits, different savings goals, different thoughts about investing, or different fears about being poor, then financial problems will eventually surface in your marriage.
It's quite possible that the one making the most money may try to control all the finances. Sometimes a power struggle concerning money will creep into your marriage.
"Like success, money is an emotionally volatile issue for most women. It's probably the most complicated relationship we have—and the one that most controls our lives because we let it." ~ Sara Ban Breathnach, author, Simple Abundance.
How Many Checking Accounts?
Financial planners generally recommend that individuals in a marriage relationship who have disposable income should each have their own account. They can then save or spend money as they want without having to justify the expenditure or feel guilty about spending the money.
Importance of Talking About Finances in Your Marriage
Even though it is difficult sometimes to face into your feelings and thoughts about money, it is imperative that a married couple make time to discuss their finances and to make decisions together about budgets, short- and long-term goals, and investment strategies.
Examine your childhoods and expectations about money. Respect one another's values and find ways to compromise in how you will deal with your financial differences.
It's quite possible that the one making the most money may try to control all the finances. Sometimes a power struggle concerning money will creep into your marriage.
"Like success, money is an emotionally volatile issue for most women. It's probably the most complicated relationship we have—and the one that most controls our lives because we let it." ~ Sara Ban Breathnach, author, Simple Abundance.
How Many Checking Accounts?
Financial planners generally recommend that individuals in a marriage relationship who have disposable income should each have their own account. They can then save or spend money as they want without having to justify the expenditure or feel guilty about spending the money.
Importance of Talking About Finances in Your Marriage
Even though it is difficult sometimes to face into your feelings and thoughts about money, it is imperative that a married couple make time to discuss their finances and to make decisions together about budgets, short- and long-term goals, and investment strategies.
Examine your childhoods and expectations about money. Respect one another's values and find ways to compromise in how you will deal with your financial differences.
Personal Money Management Style, Can Make or Break Your Marriage.by Ryan Atkinson
Personal money management is an issue that will affect your life positively or negatively... for the rest of your life. Your style of personal money management predicates where you end up in the financial pecking order of life. Do you want to be at the bottom, or the top? Develop a system that works for you early in life and reap the benefit forever.
Do you feel like you have an impossible financial dream? Money is such an emotional issue it becomes the breaking point for many a marriage. If you don't have anything else to fight about, you can always fight about money. How will you reach your financial goals? Personal money management styles are a good thing to discuss before the marriage.
How will you decide who looks after paying the bills? Will you each have your own money to spend and agree to put a preset amount into a joint account to run the household? Will it be a free for all, with each spouse blaming the other when there is not enough money to pay the bills because there is no personal money management? Many couples dream of retiring in their 40's or 50's something their parents would have considered an impossible financial dream. Is this your plan and if so, how are you going to make it happen?
Before you determine the personal money management system you use, discuss it with your spouse. There are many areas that cause problems in marriage, money management being one of the most contentious. Communicate and decide who is responsible for what before it becomes a problem.
With over 77 million baby boomers entering retirement, financial planning and asset management are definitely a hot topic. Financial planning is something, many have managed to avoid through their highest earning years and are now finding out the real cost of avoidance. Dealing with money management issues early in life, means more time to grow assets. There are unprecedented numbers inheriting substantial amounts of money from their parents.
Without effective financial planning much of that wealth will go the way of lottery wins and will not be available to improve standard of living in retirement. A recent study reported that less than an hour a month is spent on retirement planning by over 62% of baby boomers and 32% spend no time at all on this important activity.
Financial planning is very much a service-oriented niche. If you don’t feel you are receiving adequate attention from your financial planner or you are a part of the statistic that spends no time on retirement planning, don't leave it until it's too late. Start interviewing and find a financial planner that you can communicate well with, one that understands your needs and what you want to accomplish. Or if you haven't defined your financial planning needs, will help you set realistic ones.
Most people do not plan to fail at successful financial planning most people simply fail to plan. If you want a successful marriage, successful financial planning is a must. Showing your spouse that you are taking action to ensure your financial future shows you care deeply for the future of the relationship.
Please feel free to reprint this article provided the following authors credit and live URL link remains intact.
Do you feel like you have an impossible financial dream? Money is such an emotional issue it becomes the breaking point for many a marriage. If you don't have anything else to fight about, you can always fight about money. How will you reach your financial goals? Personal money management styles are a good thing to discuss before the marriage.
How will you decide who looks after paying the bills? Will you each have your own money to spend and agree to put a preset amount into a joint account to run the household? Will it be a free for all, with each spouse blaming the other when there is not enough money to pay the bills because there is no personal money management? Many couples dream of retiring in their 40's or 50's something their parents would have considered an impossible financial dream. Is this your plan and if so, how are you going to make it happen?
Before you determine the personal money management system you use, discuss it with your spouse. There are many areas that cause problems in marriage, money management being one of the most contentious. Communicate and decide who is responsible for what before it becomes a problem.
With over 77 million baby boomers entering retirement, financial planning and asset management are definitely a hot topic. Financial planning is something, many have managed to avoid through their highest earning years and are now finding out the real cost of avoidance. Dealing with money management issues early in life, means more time to grow assets. There are unprecedented numbers inheriting substantial amounts of money from their parents.
Without effective financial planning much of that wealth will go the way of lottery wins and will not be available to improve standard of living in retirement. A recent study reported that less than an hour a month is spent on retirement planning by over 62% of baby boomers and 32% spend no time at all on this important activity.
Financial planning is very much a service-oriented niche. If you don’t feel you are receiving adequate attention from your financial planner or you are a part of the statistic that spends no time on retirement planning, don't leave it until it's too late. Start interviewing and find a financial planner that you can communicate well with, one that understands your needs and what you want to accomplish. Or if you haven't defined your financial planning needs, will help you set realistic ones.
Most people do not plan to fail at successful financial planning most people simply fail to plan. If you want a successful marriage, successful financial planning is a must. Showing your spouse that you are taking action to ensure your financial future shows you care deeply for the future of the relationship.
Please feel free to reprint this article provided the following authors credit and live URL link remains intact.
Do You Desire Love And Marriage? How Should You Prepare Yourself? - by by Tony Tate
The rate of new love and marriages is rising as fast as the divorce rate. That forces the question - are people really falling in love? If they are then why is the divorce rate so high? Isn't love enough? Where is the commitment? Love and marriage are still important to people. So what is the deal? Why is the divorce rate still climbing?
Love and marriage happens everyday but that's not true for every one. Perhaps most people don't really give themselves a chance to fall in love for the right reasons. One reason for this is that people don't really get to know each other before having sex, making a commitment and getting married, all in that wrong order. When a couple begins dating both people are usually on there best behavior. In other words they have put up a front or façade. This can continue for a while. People don't really get to see the actual character of a person sometimes until after about a year or so. This is because during the dating phase you wont get into situations together that will test what you are made of.
How long before love and marriage should you date? How do you know if you should make a commitment?
After about a year when the newness of the relationship is wearing off couples begin to face more of life's situations together. They begin to see how one another react under stress and handle situations outside the dating scene bubble. This is time you should decide if love and marriage and a commitment is what you want with this person. This is the time you will find out what the other person is made of in tough situations.
Save Your Marriage Today!
Have you ever stayed awake at night stressing about whether or not your marriage will last ... And what can you possibly do to save it?
Put an end to the stress and anxiety of not knowing what to do to save your troubled marriage! And discover proven methods to getting your marriage back on track.
Even if you are the only one who wants to work on it!
Check it out now!
Sex
If you have been able to abstain from sex in the relationship you are better prepared to make clear good decisions. Sex will cause you to overlook or ignore things that may be important to you. Sex itself in not enough of a reason to get married. Sex certainly can't hold it all together for you.
Love and marriage is one of the most important commitments you will ever make. Abstinence is not a popular dating tip for men and women these days, but it is a good dating tip. From your first date until your last date, if you don't marry, should be conducted with respect to each other. If he/she is not willing to abstain with you he/she is probably not the one you are looking for. If it turns out that you are not compatible with the person you are seeing you should leave the goods undamaged (emotional goods). That means you should be able to get to know one another without making the sexual connection so that if you get to the point where you decide to end the relationship the emotional pain is minimized. Sometimes couples end up getting married simply because they have been having sex.
The plus side to arriving at love and marriage through getting to know one another, and abstaining from sex is that you will have been able to make sound decisions about your relationship without the influence of sex. You will know what it is you love about your mate and why you want to marry them. None of your feelings of love will be rooted in sex.
Love and marriage happens everyday but that's not true for every one. Perhaps most people don't really give themselves a chance to fall in love for the right reasons. One reason for this is that people don't really get to know each other before having sex, making a commitment and getting married, all in that wrong order. When a couple begins dating both people are usually on there best behavior. In other words they have put up a front or façade. This can continue for a while. People don't really get to see the actual character of a person sometimes until after about a year or so. This is because during the dating phase you wont get into situations together that will test what you are made of.
How long before love and marriage should you date? How do you know if you should make a commitment?
After about a year when the newness of the relationship is wearing off couples begin to face more of life's situations together. They begin to see how one another react under stress and handle situations outside the dating scene bubble. This is time you should decide if love and marriage and a commitment is what you want with this person. This is the time you will find out what the other person is made of in tough situations.
Save Your Marriage Today!
Have you ever stayed awake at night stressing about whether or not your marriage will last ... And what can you possibly do to save it?
Put an end to the stress and anxiety of not knowing what to do to save your troubled marriage! And discover proven methods to getting your marriage back on track.
Even if you are the only one who wants to work on it!
Check it out now!
Sex
If you have been able to abstain from sex in the relationship you are better prepared to make clear good decisions. Sex will cause you to overlook or ignore things that may be important to you. Sex itself in not enough of a reason to get married. Sex certainly can't hold it all together for you.
Love and marriage is one of the most important commitments you will ever make. Abstinence is not a popular dating tip for men and women these days, but it is a good dating tip. From your first date until your last date, if you don't marry, should be conducted with respect to each other. If he/she is not willing to abstain with you he/she is probably not the one you are looking for. If it turns out that you are not compatible with the person you are seeing you should leave the goods undamaged (emotional goods). That means you should be able to get to know one another without making the sexual connection so that if you get to the point where you decide to end the relationship the emotional pain is minimized. Sometimes couples end up getting married simply because they have been having sex.
The plus side to arriving at love and marriage through getting to know one another, and abstaining from sex is that you will have been able to make sound decisions about your relationship without the influence of sex. You will know what it is you love about your mate and why you want to marry them. None of your feelings of love will be rooted in sex.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
My Husband Ignores Me When He Gets Home From Work By Brenda Carter
Wives are always joking about how their husband has selective hearing and that he doesn't hear what we have to say, but what women need to understand is that men are not able to multitask like we can. So when your husband gets home from work and appears to be ignoring you because you try to talk to him right when he walks in the door, it's not because he doesn't want to hear what you have to say. It's because he's overwhelmed at the moment.
Since men are not able to multitask like women can, they need some time to wind down after work and change from work mode to home mode. When you jump on him right after he walks through the door he is not able to process what you are saying, so he turns on the selective hearing that we always joke about and shuts you out. Understanding that this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the way he's wired is important. Instead of getting upset with him for ignoring you, try this one simple tip to help you communicate better with him after a long day at work.
Allow your husband to develop a routine that he can get into whenever he gets home from work. This could be opening the mail, watching his favorite TV show, reading a magazine, or checking his favorite website. What he does all depends on his interests, it will not be the same for every man. This routine will allow his brain to shut off from work mode and switch to home mode. Once the toggle switch has been changed, you will be surprised at how receptive he is to what you have to say. That's it, there's nothing complicated to it.
I hope this tip will allow you and your husband to communicate better with each other. Just understanding how different men and women really are can mean the difference between and OK marriage and a great marriage.
Since men are not able to multitask like women can, they need some time to wind down after work and change from work mode to home mode. When you jump on him right after he walks through the door he is not able to process what you are saying, so he turns on the selective hearing that we always joke about and shuts you out. Understanding that this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the way he's wired is important. Instead of getting upset with him for ignoring you, try this one simple tip to help you communicate better with him after a long day at work.
Allow your husband to develop a routine that he can get into whenever he gets home from work. This could be opening the mail, watching his favorite TV show, reading a magazine, or checking his favorite website. What he does all depends on his interests, it will not be the same for every man. This routine will allow his brain to shut off from work mode and switch to home mode. Once the toggle switch has been changed, you will be surprised at how receptive he is to what you have to say. That's it, there's nothing complicated to it.
I hope this tip will allow you and your husband to communicate better with each other. Just understanding how different men and women really are can mean the difference between and OK marriage and a great marriage.
Stop Your Divorce - Save Your Marriage - Communication is the Key to Any Successful Relationship By Sabrina Werles
When you want to stop your divorce and save your marriage, you must learn to communicate effectively. When a relationship lacks proper communication, it rarely survives.
It happens to the best of relationships sometimes - hurtful words are exchanged in moments of anger or frustration. This leads to the recipient of these words to be left reacting defensively, which leads to even more turmoil in the marriage. In essence, a few words can have a snowballing effect, and no relationship is immune to this.
When two people live together for an extended period of time, they tend to take each other for granted. This isn't intentional, and we don't even realize we do it, until it starts to impact our marriage. To make matters worse, when we take each other for granted, we tend to say things which can very easily escalate into arguments.
A simple matter of missing car keys can lead to a statement such as "If you'd just open your eyes once in a while, you'd find what you're looking for". Statements such as this are said all the time, not necessarily meant to be taken so harshly, but do you see how something that just flies out of your mouth can have a devastating affect?
You have to be considerate of each other's feelings. If you're not, this will lead to much unwanted tension in your relationship.
When you feel that your marriage is getting tense, talk to your partner. Cut off the arguments before they start. Stop the negative remarks before they happen. When you open the lines of communication, instead of holding back your feelings, you will find that your marriage becomes more stable.
Talking your feelings out is a very simple way to solve many marital problems. Unfortunately, too many married couples don't talk! They keep their feelings bottled up inside, and one day everything explodes. To avoid these explosions, be sure to talk with your spouse. The more you talk, the stronger your bond will grow, and the more your marriage will be able to withstand any problem that comes your way!
Want to know more ways to stop your divorce and save your marriage?
Make sure that you don't leave anything to chance. Learn every last detail on what it takes to turn your marriage problems around and recreate the loving marriage that you always dreamed of. With our help, it is possible to rescue any marriage!
It happens to the best of relationships sometimes - hurtful words are exchanged in moments of anger or frustration. This leads to the recipient of these words to be left reacting defensively, which leads to even more turmoil in the marriage. In essence, a few words can have a snowballing effect, and no relationship is immune to this.
When two people live together for an extended period of time, they tend to take each other for granted. This isn't intentional, and we don't even realize we do it, until it starts to impact our marriage. To make matters worse, when we take each other for granted, we tend to say things which can very easily escalate into arguments.
A simple matter of missing car keys can lead to a statement such as "If you'd just open your eyes once in a while, you'd find what you're looking for". Statements such as this are said all the time, not necessarily meant to be taken so harshly, but do you see how something that just flies out of your mouth can have a devastating affect?
You have to be considerate of each other's feelings. If you're not, this will lead to much unwanted tension in your relationship.
When you feel that your marriage is getting tense, talk to your partner. Cut off the arguments before they start. Stop the negative remarks before they happen. When you open the lines of communication, instead of holding back your feelings, you will find that your marriage becomes more stable.
Talking your feelings out is a very simple way to solve many marital problems. Unfortunately, too many married couples don't talk! They keep their feelings bottled up inside, and one day everything explodes. To avoid these explosions, be sure to talk with your spouse. The more you talk, the stronger your bond will grow, and the more your marriage will be able to withstand any problem that comes your way!
Want to know more ways to stop your divorce and save your marriage?
Make sure that you don't leave anything to chance. Learn every last detail on what it takes to turn your marriage problems around and recreate the loving marriage that you always dreamed of. With our help, it is possible to rescue any marriage!
Stop Your Divorce - Save Your Marriage - Communication is the Key to Any Successful Relationship By Sabrina Werles
When you want to stop your divorce and save your marriage, you must learn to communicate effectively. When a relationship lacks proper communication, it rarely survives.
It happens to the best of relationships sometimes - hurtful words are exchanged in moments of anger or frustration. This leads to the recipient of these words to be left reacting defensively, which leads to even more turmoil in the marriage. In essence, a few words can have a snowballing effect, and no relationship is immune to this.
When two people live together for an extended period of time, they tend to take each other for granted. This isn't intentional, and we don't even realize we do it, until it starts to impact our marriage. To make matters worse, when we take each other for granted, we tend to say things which can very easily escalate into arguments.
A simple matter of missing car keys can lead to a statement such as "If you'd just open your eyes once in a while, you'd find what you're looking for". Statements such as this are said all the time, not necessarily meant to be taken so harshly, but do you see how something that just flies out of your mouth can have a devastating affect?
You have to be considerate of each other's feelings. If you're not, this will lead to much unwanted tension in your relationship.
When you feel that your marriage is getting tense, talk to your partner. Cut off the arguments before they start. Stop the negative remarks before they happen. When you open the lines of communication, instead of holding back your feelings, you will find that your marriage becomes more stable.
Talking your feelings out is a very simple way to solve many marital problems. Unfortunately, too many married couples don't talk! They keep their feelings bottled up inside, and one day everything explodes. To avoid these explosions, be sure to talk with your spouse. The more you talk, the stronger your bond will grow, and the more your marriage will be able to withstand any problem that comes your way!
Want to know more ways to stop your divorce and save your marriage?
Make sure that you don't leave anything to chance. Learn every last detail on what it takes to turn your marriage problems around and recreate the loving marriage that you always dreamed of. With our help, it is possible to rescue any marriage!
It happens to the best of relationships sometimes - hurtful words are exchanged in moments of anger or frustration. This leads to the recipient of these words to be left reacting defensively, which leads to even more turmoil in the marriage. In essence, a few words can have a snowballing effect, and no relationship is immune to this.
When two people live together for an extended period of time, they tend to take each other for granted. This isn't intentional, and we don't even realize we do it, until it starts to impact our marriage. To make matters worse, when we take each other for granted, we tend to say things which can very easily escalate into arguments.
A simple matter of missing car keys can lead to a statement such as "If you'd just open your eyes once in a while, you'd find what you're looking for". Statements such as this are said all the time, not necessarily meant to be taken so harshly, but do you see how something that just flies out of your mouth can have a devastating affect?
You have to be considerate of each other's feelings. If you're not, this will lead to much unwanted tension in your relationship.
When you feel that your marriage is getting tense, talk to your partner. Cut off the arguments before they start. Stop the negative remarks before they happen. When you open the lines of communication, instead of holding back your feelings, you will find that your marriage becomes more stable.
Talking your feelings out is a very simple way to solve many marital problems. Unfortunately, too many married couples don't talk! They keep their feelings bottled up inside, and one day everything explodes. To avoid these explosions, be sure to talk with your spouse. The more you talk, the stronger your bond will grow, and the more your marriage will be able to withstand any problem that comes your way!
Want to know more ways to stop your divorce and save your marriage?
Make sure that you don't leave anything to chance. Learn every last detail on what it takes to turn your marriage problems around and recreate the loving marriage that you always dreamed of. With our help, it is possible to rescue any marriage!
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