In the first place I want you to realize that marriage is a gift from
God almighty. Again it is meant for the matured only. When I mean the
matured am not talking only about age, but maturity of the mind. When
you feel you are ready for marriage the next question is how do I choose
the right partner that will really be a blessing to me? Here in this
article am going to help you on key principles that will help you
discover you dream partner.
1. Pray to God to guild you in
choosing the right person. Many will disagree with me on this. But the
truth remains that God who knows each and everyone of us knows who will
actually be a suitable partner to you. If you tell him to guide you, of
course He will. He said in all our ways we should acknowledge Him and He
will direct our steps.
2. Write on A paper the kind of person You
want to marry. This will help you both in your prayers and in your
relationship. When you are looking for a life partner you have to be
open or receptive to everyone that comes your way. I mean those who want
to be your friends. There is nothing wrong having many friends when you
are out to select the right person.This is where your list plays a
major role. Among those who are your friends, go through your list to
know those who match the qualities of the kind of person you want as a
life partner. Select the nearest to the quality. Because you may not
get 100% of the person on your list, the man or woman that is 75%
should be selected. Remember prayer still has to be going on during the
selection so that you don't make mistake.
3. Make your proposal.
Of course this is the duty of a man. But if you are a woman yet there
other ways to make him know you are interested without being stupid.
You can be interested in things he is interested about. Make some good
compliments to his shirts, tie or job, anything to get his attention to
you. Caution! please don't seduce him. Don't try to get him sleep with
you. Be disciplined as a woman of great quality. still prayer is very
important here too, for God to open his eyes to see you.
4. Accept
each other. Once both of you discovered you are for each other the next
thing is to accept to get married. You as the man should start planning
to see her people. Once you see her people begin the marriage plans.
Fix a date for the marriage rites according to the customs of her
people. Pay the dowry, and she becomes your life. 5. Live Happily With
Your Spouse. After you have married you have to live happily with your
spouse. Marriage is meant for enjoyment not for struggle and fighting.
With these principles you can find a partner that suites you.
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
Solving The Problem Of Infidelity In Marriage
What is infidelity? It is the ability of not been faithful to your
spouse. When a man goes outside his matrimonial home to have affair with
another woman he is unfaithful, likewise a woman. Many marriages an at
the verge of collapse because of the evil called infidelity. Now if we
don't take proper measure to stop infidelity marriage that supposed to
be a blessing will end up becoming a curse.
How are we going to solve the problem of infidelity in marriage? The answer to this question will be our focus in this article.
1. Purity of Heart. The first thing that will help solve the problem of infidelity in marriage is the purity of heart. A pure heart will not always think of making love with another woman or a man. Renew your thought by thinking right. Think about the love you have with your spouse, the shame and trauma that your act will cause in your marriage.
2. Avoid Close Contact With The Woman or Man. A man said that the closer you are with a woman or a man the weaker you become. There are many ways you can be close to a man that if care is not taken, will lead to infidelity. One of it is physical contact- seeing each other all the time. Am not saying you should live an isolated life. Of course it impossible to live here on earth without socializing, but the point am making is that if you want to save your marriage, mind the closeness with another partner. Another way to be close which is the most dangerous of all is closeness through phone or internet. Today technology has made it easy to be in deep relationship with a strange woman or man to the detriment of our marriages. For example, a man engaged in many hours conversation with a woman who is not his wife discussing love issues. Others engage in chatting. Some women keep awake chatting with men. And it's not that they are discussing about things that can lift up the spirit.They talk about sex. Some even take pictures of their nude bodies and send to their partners. Tell me why won't you be unfaithful doing so? So be careful in any conversation with opposite sex. for those who are out to seduce you deliberately avoid their calls or chat.
3. Cherish Your Partner. Cherish you partner. If actually he is your wife/husband love and cherish each other. Spend quality time together. Don't allow communication gap in your relationship because that is where the enemy will come in. If your partner does what you don't like, call him/her to order. Talk about it and find lasting solution to the problem. Try to satisfy your eyes and mind in the beauty of your partner. How do I mean. The way you admire other women or men admire your spouse. That can only be possible when both of you are together. kissing and romancing each other.
4. Tell each other Your areas of Temptation. let me tell you my story. last year my wife traveled and I was alone. And being an online man, I was chatting with some my facebook friends. So a woman opened up a chat, and began taking about sex. That she would want me to satisfy her sexually. I pretended as if I was interested to get to know what she was up to. When I realized she meant it I had to tell her that I wouldn't do such a thing like that.When my wife came back I told her everything that went when she was away. With that I have saved myself further temptation.
5. Pray For The Help Of God To be faithful. Prayer remains the only secret that helps us over come temptation. For no man or woman is above falling. In fact the higher you grow spiritually the greater the temptation. So watch and pray so that you don't fall into temptation. To do that create time either in the morning or night to call upon God for help.
6. Avoid Blame When Your Partner falls away. When by mistake your spouse falls into the sin of adultery, what should be your action? Throw her away, leave the house for him and walk away? No, doing so will never end infidelity, but will rather aggravate it. What I want you to do is, try to put aside blames and criticism, and put on the garment of love and tolerance. Knowing that we stand only by the grace of God, forgiveness is the only option in a time like this. Infidelity can be overcome if only you will apply these principles.
How are we going to solve the problem of infidelity in marriage? The answer to this question will be our focus in this article.
1. Purity of Heart. The first thing that will help solve the problem of infidelity in marriage is the purity of heart. A pure heart will not always think of making love with another woman or a man. Renew your thought by thinking right. Think about the love you have with your spouse, the shame and trauma that your act will cause in your marriage.
2. Avoid Close Contact With The Woman or Man. A man said that the closer you are with a woman or a man the weaker you become. There are many ways you can be close to a man that if care is not taken, will lead to infidelity. One of it is physical contact- seeing each other all the time. Am not saying you should live an isolated life. Of course it impossible to live here on earth without socializing, but the point am making is that if you want to save your marriage, mind the closeness with another partner. Another way to be close which is the most dangerous of all is closeness through phone or internet. Today technology has made it easy to be in deep relationship with a strange woman or man to the detriment of our marriages. For example, a man engaged in many hours conversation with a woman who is not his wife discussing love issues. Others engage in chatting. Some women keep awake chatting with men. And it's not that they are discussing about things that can lift up the spirit.They talk about sex. Some even take pictures of their nude bodies and send to their partners. Tell me why won't you be unfaithful doing so? So be careful in any conversation with opposite sex. for those who are out to seduce you deliberately avoid their calls or chat.
3. Cherish Your Partner. Cherish you partner. If actually he is your wife/husband love and cherish each other. Spend quality time together. Don't allow communication gap in your relationship because that is where the enemy will come in. If your partner does what you don't like, call him/her to order. Talk about it and find lasting solution to the problem. Try to satisfy your eyes and mind in the beauty of your partner. How do I mean. The way you admire other women or men admire your spouse. That can only be possible when both of you are together. kissing and romancing each other.
4. Tell each other Your areas of Temptation. let me tell you my story. last year my wife traveled and I was alone. And being an online man, I was chatting with some my facebook friends. So a woman opened up a chat, and began taking about sex. That she would want me to satisfy her sexually. I pretended as if I was interested to get to know what she was up to. When I realized she meant it I had to tell her that I wouldn't do such a thing like that.When my wife came back I told her everything that went when she was away. With that I have saved myself further temptation.
5. Pray For The Help Of God To be faithful. Prayer remains the only secret that helps us over come temptation. For no man or woman is above falling. In fact the higher you grow spiritually the greater the temptation. So watch and pray so that you don't fall into temptation. To do that create time either in the morning or night to call upon God for help.
6. Avoid Blame When Your Partner falls away. When by mistake your spouse falls into the sin of adultery, what should be your action? Throw her away, leave the house for him and walk away? No, doing so will never end infidelity, but will rather aggravate it. What I want you to do is, try to put aside blames and criticism, and put on the garment of love and tolerance. Knowing that we stand only by the grace of God, forgiveness is the only option in a time like this. Infidelity can be overcome if only you will apply these principles.
Four Things That Will Make Your Marriage Work
Mutual respect
As unromantic as it sounds, having mutual respect for each other will be a huge benefit to your relationship. This means never taking each other for granted or simply expecting certain things of each other without asking or having a discussion around roles. For example, how would you feel if your husband automatically expected you to know where his clean shirts were or assumed that all of the household chores were your domain and your domain only? A good relationship relies on teamwork and sharing responsibilities equally – not leaving one person in charge of everything. Having mutual respect means appreciating each other and showing that appreciation by saying thank you when your partner does something nice for you.Acceptance
There are no two ways about it; you must accept the man you have married. There is slim to no chance that once you have him settled into a home with a garden and white picket fence that he will transform magically into the prince you've always wanted. A frog is a frog no matter how you dress him up, so if you want your marriage to work, acceptance is key. If you married him, you need to love him for who he is now – not who you hope he will become. Marry for love and nothing more or you run the risk of disappointment down the road, not to mention unnecessary arguments and potential heartache.Common courtesy
It may seem overly simplistic but remembering to extend small common courtesies to your spouse such as saying please and thank you, calling or sending a text message when you're going to be late, offering to make dinner when the other person is super-stressed, etc. will go a long way in making your marriage work. No one likes to feel under appreciated (or worse, not appreciated at all), so if you both make a point to show appreciation towards each other, it will be much easier to keep your relationship healthy and minimize potential resentment. Resentment often starts when one person feels they pull more weight than the other or that what they do goes unnoticed. Be nicer to each other to avoid this trap.Compromise
This is probably the most important healthy marriage must-do on our list and something that should be taken very seriously. We all want to be right (it just feels good sometimes), but always needing to have the last word and turn every argument into a full-blown fight can really wear on the relationship. Compromise means coming to a mutually agreeable solution – something you can both live with. You may still think you're right and he's wrong, but it can often be better to try and merge your ideas until you hit on something that satisfies both of you, rather than one of you feeling slighted or angry.How To Avoid Divorce and Rescue Your Marriage
Married couples have to work hard to stay married.
With the increasing rate of divorce, it is evident that keeping a
marriage is not easy. Many couples end up getting divorced because they
failed to overcome the challenges of marriage. Is your marriage going
through rough times and you are afraid that your marriage might end in
divorce? Do you want to avoid divorce and rescue your marriage? Keep on
reading to discover how.
1. Decide to work hard to keep your marriage. One of the reasons why divorce is common in the world today is because many married people see it as the only alternative when they are facing marital challenges. If you still love your spouse and you have children, it will be a big mistake to just get a divorce and give up working hard for your marriage. If you want to stay married, it is important to have that firm decision to work hard to avoid divorce and rescue your marriage.
2. Decide To Stay Together. Decide to stay together no mater what. The antidote to divorce is to determine to stay together no mater how rough things are in your marriage. If you will speak to yourself, that no matter the situation that you will remain with your spouse, let me tell you nothing will separate you. But if you keep nursing the thought of separation, if care is not taking you will eventually separate. Even when your partner suggests divorce, discourage it. Try to persuade your partner to remain.
1. Decide to work hard to keep your marriage. One of the reasons why divorce is common in the world today is because many married people see it as the only alternative when they are facing marital challenges. If you still love your spouse and you have children, it will be a big mistake to just get a divorce and give up working hard for your marriage. If you want to stay married, it is important to have that firm decision to work hard to avoid divorce and rescue your marriage.
2. Decide To Stay Together. Decide to stay together no mater what. The antidote to divorce is to determine to stay together no mater how rough things are in your marriage. If you will speak to yourself, that no matter the situation that you will remain with your spouse, let me tell you nothing will separate you. But if you keep nursing the thought of separation, if care is not taking you will eventually separate. Even when your partner suggests divorce, discourage it. Try to persuade your partner to remain.
3. Good communication. One of the keys to a long-lasting successful relationship is good communication. Lack of communication can lead to misunderstandings, wrong assumptions and confusions. Couples who rarely talk to each other tend to guess and assume things creating a wall between them. Good communication brings couples closer to each other. When verbal communication is not possible, writing letters and sending text messages are great options to communicate.
A good
communication is not all about talking but it includes the ability to
listen and hear what your spouse wants to say. Let your spouse feel that
he or she is being heard. If you can calmly discuss or talk about the
issues in your marriage, you can work as a team to resolve the problems.
Great communication skills are important if you want to avoid divorce
and rescue your marriage.
Even when your spouse decides to keep silent, logically find a way to make him / her talk. Speaking in marriage is a way of emptying your heart of heavy loads of over- bearing offenses or grudges, which can be detrimental to health.
Even when your spouse decides to keep silent, logically find a way to make him / her talk. Speaking in marriage is a way of emptying your heart of heavy loads of over- bearing offenses or grudges, which can be detrimental to health.
If you will follow these steps your marriage will be healed.
How To Make Your Husband Happy
One of the best ways to make your husband
happy is to laugh a lot. There is nothing worse for a husband than to be
greeted by a miserable face when he comes home from work.
Before you can be happy for your husband though, you have to feel happy inside yourself. So it's important to understand and know yourself in order to create a happy and contented home for you and your husband.
In order for you to be happy you have to enjoy the things you're doing in your life. Work and children can take over but it's essential you create 'you' time and develop your creative side. By making time to keep your hobbies alive you'll be happier inside and it will show.
Be affectionate. There is nothing like a cuddle or a kiss to eliminate the day's woes from your husband's mind. If he knows he's coming home to a loving wife and children it will cement the marriage.Keep yourself clean and attractive. Don't let family or tiredness take away your dignity and your self esteem. Try to keep yourself looking at the very best you can so that your husband will want to be with you and can't wait to come home.
After years of marriage this is not always easy, but it really can be achieved.
Always keep the home clean and make it a haven from the rest of the world. Keep the decor light and airy and have flowers displayed around the rooms to make them welcoming. If you can't always afford fresh flowers, then use artificial ones and perhaps decorate them with greenery from the garden.
Take time and trouble over preparing the evening meal. A pizza is all right occasionally, but it's hardly a romantic meal. You can plan in advance and perhaps prepare several dishes at the weekend in order to save you the time when you get home from work or from picking up the children. Think the meals through and try to choose things you know he particularly likes.
Sitting eating together is important in any marriage, as you can talk over the day's events and laugh or cry together. Talking things over and laughing at things together can make even the bad events of the day more tolerable. Laughter is very definitely the best medicine.
Sometimes it's good to give your husband space and quiet. He doesn't necessarily want to hear lots of girlie gossip, save that for your friends. Silence can be a sign of affection in that you are aware of his need for solitude and quiet. Respect that and leave him to relax.
When you go out together don't make him feel embarrassed because you are talking too loud and don't relate private things to others.
Compliment him and let him know you appreciate how hard he works for you and your family. Don't nag him about things he hasn't done, rather mention in a subtle way and let him end up thinking he's remembered it himself. A simple thing no doubt, but a good way to make your husband happy.
Before you can be happy for your husband though, you have to feel happy inside yourself. So it's important to understand and know yourself in order to create a happy and contented home for you and your husband.
In order for you to be happy you have to enjoy the things you're doing in your life. Work and children can take over but it's essential you create 'you' time and develop your creative side. By making time to keep your hobbies alive you'll be happier inside and it will show.
Be affectionate. There is nothing like a cuddle or a kiss to eliminate the day's woes from your husband's mind. If he knows he's coming home to a loving wife and children it will cement the marriage.Keep yourself clean and attractive. Don't let family or tiredness take away your dignity and your self esteem. Try to keep yourself looking at the very best you can so that your husband will want to be with you and can't wait to come home.
After years of marriage this is not always easy, but it really can be achieved.
Always keep the home clean and make it a haven from the rest of the world. Keep the decor light and airy and have flowers displayed around the rooms to make them welcoming. If you can't always afford fresh flowers, then use artificial ones and perhaps decorate them with greenery from the garden.
Take time and trouble over preparing the evening meal. A pizza is all right occasionally, but it's hardly a romantic meal. You can plan in advance and perhaps prepare several dishes at the weekend in order to save you the time when you get home from work or from picking up the children. Think the meals through and try to choose things you know he particularly likes.
Sitting eating together is important in any marriage, as you can talk over the day's events and laugh or cry together. Talking things over and laughing at things together can make even the bad events of the day more tolerable. Laughter is very definitely the best medicine.
Sometimes it's good to give your husband space and quiet. He doesn't necessarily want to hear lots of girlie gossip, save that for your friends. Silence can be a sign of affection in that you are aware of his need for solitude and quiet. Respect that and leave him to relax.
When you go out together don't make him feel embarrassed because you are talking too loud and don't relate private things to others.
Compliment him and let him know you appreciate how hard he works for you and your family. Don't nag him about things he hasn't done, rather mention in a subtle way and let him end up thinking he's remembered it himself. A simple thing no doubt, but a good way to make your husband happy.
How to Make Your Wife Love You
How to make your wife love you again. Have
you been thinking of ways to do this? Keep reading to discover different
ways of bringing the love back into your marriage.
Why do you feel that she doesn't love you anymore? Does she not meet you at the door when you come home from work? Does it seem like you try to talk to her, but her mind is always somewhere else?
Whatever the reason you feel this way, it is time to stop. It's time to get your wife back. It's time to get your marriage back to being a good, happy marriage again.
Above all else, you can't show any hurt, anger, or desperation. All that will do is make matters worse. If you show anger, she is likely to back away further from you. That's the last thing you want right now, right?
So how do you stop that from happening?
Try to see things through her eyes. Look at your marriage a different way. Picture yourself as her, and try to see how she feels. Maybe you'll see something that you've never noticed before. When you want to know how to make your wife love you again, you must try to look at your marriage from a different angle.
Have you tried to talk to her about these feelings? It may be that she finds herself too wrapped up in life - career, kids, household bills, stress, etc., that she doesn't even realize that she is neglecting you. She may think that you're her husband - you'll be there no matter what. Let her know how you feel.
Is you marriage lacking the 'spice' it used to have? Is it getting dull, or boring? Do what you can to bring the spark back. Make a special date with your wife. Go out and have some fun. Relax together. Do something you both enjoy doing, and spend some quality time with each other.
What this will do is bring the feelings you both have for each other back to the surface, where they belong. Over time, emotions tend to get buried under life's little problems, and we don't see anything is wrong until it's too late.
Does your wife feel unappreciated? Show her that you appreciate her. You know that she does a lot around the house, and take steps to help her when you can. When she's making dinner or doing laundry, offer to help her. Even little things make a huge difference! There are many ways to learn how to make your wife love you again, these are just a few.
Why do you feel that she doesn't love you anymore? Does she not meet you at the door when you come home from work? Does it seem like you try to talk to her, but her mind is always somewhere else?
Whatever the reason you feel this way, it is time to stop. It's time to get your wife back. It's time to get your marriage back to being a good, happy marriage again.
Above all else, you can't show any hurt, anger, or desperation. All that will do is make matters worse. If you show anger, she is likely to back away further from you. That's the last thing you want right now, right?
So how do you stop that from happening?
Try to see things through her eyes. Look at your marriage a different way. Picture yourself as her, and try to see how she feels. Maybe you'll see something that you've never noticed before. When you want to know how to make your wife love you again, you must try to look at your marriage from a different angle.
Have you tried to talk to her about these feelings? It may be that she finds herself too wrapped up in life - career, kids, household bills, stress, etc., that she doesn't even realize that she is neglecting you. She may think that you're her husband - you'll be there no matter what. Let her know how you feel.
Is you marriage lacking the 'spice' it used to have? Is it getting dull, or boring? Do what you can to bring the spark back. Make a special date with your wife. Go out and have some fun. Relax together. Do something you both enjoy doing, and spend some quality time with each other.
What this will do is bring the feelings you both have for each other back to the surface, where they belong. Over time, emotions tend to get buried under life's little problems, and we don't see anything is wrong until it's too late.
Does your wife feel unappreciated? Show her that you appreciate her. You know that she does a lot around the house, and take steps to help her when you can. When she's making dinner or doing laundry, offer to help her. Even little things make a huge difference! There are many ways to learn how to make your wife love you again, these are just a few.
Key For a Successful Marriage
Last week we celebrated the wedding of two young adults in our
church. I had the privilege of giving the wedding sermon. And in my
sermon I shared with them this time tested key for a successful
marriage. Now this might surprise you, but this time tested key for a
successful marriage is found in the Bible in Proverbs 18:22.
Carefully read with me the words found in Proverbs 18:22. "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord." I think it would also be appropriate to turn the proverb around in this way. "She who finds a husband finds a good thing..."
At this point you are probably raising this question to yourself. "What does this proverb have to do with a successful marriage?" This Proverb teaches us two important concepts about a successful marriage. Let me share them with you.
First, this Proverb teaches us about the sovereignty of God in marriage.
A couple with a successful marriage understands this important truth. God is the one who brought them together. Please understand you did not meet your spouse by accident. God arranged all the details of life so that you might meet each other and marry each other.
If God brought you together then your spouse is a special gift from the Lord. And if your spouse is a gift from the Lord then we need to treat them like a special gift. Think what would happen in America if people began to treat their spouse as a special gift from the Lord.
Years ago I ministered at a church in North Dakota. In the congregation there where several couples who celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. Each of them had a happy marriage because they understood this important truth. God was the one who brought them together. They therefore treated each other as a special gift from the Lord. And this made a difference in their marriage.
Second, this Proverb teaches us about the goodness of God in marriage.
Please understand that God is the one who created the idea of marriage. And whatever God creates is good. Your marriage is a good thing. And if someone puts down marriage they are putting down what God has called good. It's that simple.
At this point you may be frustrated with your spouse. You may at this point wish you were never married to them. But please remember this important truth. If you are married then you have found a good thing. For whatever God creates is always good.
When couples come to me for help they often say this to me. "We just don't like one another any more." I then ask them to list two or three things that originally attracted them to each other. As they list what originally attracted them to each other, smiles usually fill their faces. Once again they realized that they have found a good thing in one another.
Conclusion
The next time you are frustrated with your marriage please remember these two important truths. First, remember the sovereignty of God in marriage. God is the one who brought you together. Therefore treat one another as a special gift from the Lord. Second, remember the goodness of God in marriage. You have found a good thing in one each other.
Dan Korzep is the teaching pastor at Christian Bible Church in Methuen, Ma. He has been in the ministry for thrity years. He has a BS in Sociology from Shepherd University, and a Master's of Divinity from the Reformed Episcopal Seiminary. He is married and has five children.
For years Dan has been helping couples improve or save their marriages. Dan is the author of the forth coming book "How to Rescue Your Marriage.
Carefully read with me the words found in Proverbs 18:22. "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord." I think it would also be appropriate to turn the proverb around in this way. "She who finds a husband finds a good thing..."
At this point you are probably raising this question to yourself. "What does this proverb have to do with a successful marriage?" This Proverb teaches us two important concepts about a successful marriage. Let me share them with you.
First, this Proverb teaches us about the sovereignty of God in marriage.
A couple with a successful marriage understands this important truth. God is the one who brought them together. Please understand you did not meet your spouse by accident. God arranged all the details of life so that you might meet each other and marry each other.
If God brought you together then your spouse is a special gift from the Lord. And if your spouse is a gift from the Lord then we need to treat them like a special gift. Think what would happen in America if people began to treat their spouse as a special gift from the Lord.
Years ago I ministered at a church in North Dakota. In the congregation there where several couples who celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. Each of them had a happy marriage because they understood this important truth. God was the one who brought them together. They therefore treated each other as a special gift from the Lord. And this made a difference in their marriage.
Second, this Proverb teaches us about the goodness of God in marriage.
Please understand that God is the one who created the idea of marriage. And whatever God creates is good. Your marriage is a good thing. And if someone puts down marriage they are putting down what God has called good. It's that simple.
At this point you may be frustrated with your spouse. You may at this point wish you were never married to them. But please remember this important truth. If you are married then you have found a good thing. For whatever God creates is always good.
When couples come to me for help they often say this to me. "We just don't like one another any more." I then ask them to list two or three things that originally attracted them to each other. As they list what originally attracted them to each other, smiles usually fill their faces. Once again they realized that they have found a good thing in one another.
Conclusion
The next time you are frustrated with your marriage please remember these two important truths. First, remember the sovereignty of God in marriage. God is the one who brought you together. Therefore treat one another as a special gift from the Lord. Second, remember the goodness of God in marriage. You have found a good thing in one each other.
Dan Korzep is the teaching pastor at Christian Bible Church in Methuen, Ma. He has been in the ministry for thrity years. He has a BS in Sociology from Shepherd University, and a Master's of Divinity from the Reformed Episcopal Seiminary. He is married and has five children.
For years Dan has been helping couples improve or save their marriages. Dan is the author of the forth coming book "How to Rescue Your Marriage.
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