Mutual respect
As unromantic as it sounds, having mutual
respect for each other will be a huge benefit to your relationship. This
means never taking each other for granted or simply expecting certain
things of each other without asking or having a discussion around roles.
For example, how would you feel if your husband automatically expected
you to know where his clean shirts were or assumed that all of the
household chores were your domain and your domain only? A good
relationship relies on teamwork and sharing responsibilities
equally –
not leaving one person in charge of everything. Having mutual respect
means appreciating each other and showing that appreciation by saying
thank you when your partner does something nice for you.
Acceptance
There
are no two ways about it; you must accept the man you have married.
There is slim to no chance that once you have him settled into a home
with a garden and white picket fence that he will transform magically
into the prince you've always wanted. A frog is a frog no matter how you
dress him up, so if you want your marriage to work, acceptance is key.
If you married him, you need to love him for who he is
now – not who you
hope
he will become. Marry for love and nothing more or you run the risk of
disappointment down the road, not to mention unnecessary arguments and
potential heartache.
Common courtesy
It may seem overly
simplistic but remembering to extend small common courtesies to your
spouse such as saying please and thank you, calling or sending a text
message when you're going to be late, offering to make dinner when the
other person is super-stressed, etc. will go a long way in making your
marriage work. No one likes to feel under appreciated (or worse, not
appreciated at all), so if you both make a point to show appreciation
towards each other, it will be much easier to keep your relationship
healthy and minimize potential resentment. Resentment often starts when
one person feels they pull more weight than the other or that what they
do goes unnoticed. Be nicer to each other to avoid this trap.
Compromise
This
is probably the most important healthy marriage must-do on our list and
something that should be taken very seriously. We all want to be right
(it just feels good sometimes), but always needing to have the last word
and turn every argument into a full-blown fight can really wear on the
relationship. Compromise means coming to a mutually agreeable solution –
something you can both live with. You may still think you're right and
he's wrong, but it can often be better to try and merge your ideas until
you hit on something that satisfies both of you, rather than one of you
feeling slighted or angry.
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