Here's what women want to hear all the time you are wondering how to please her, so that she hits the sack with you!
• Just as men are naturally inclined to respond physically, for women it s all in the mind. So, before you read up on all those complicated sex positions, get a grip on her mind. Flatter her with sweet words and compliments- and yes, try to look as if you mean it. It's no use saying she has beautiful lips if you are going to avoid kissing them at all times!
• She may not need foreplay at all times, but you must offer it all the same. A little gentle handling always helps. You must worship her body, instead of treating it like a bike which is having a hard time starting up! Also, please avoid asking her, '' did you come?'' there's nothing that turns you off more than that.
• Make sure that she gets an orgasm most of the times. She will be much more inclined to please you if you please her first. If you are wondering about how to give her an orgasm every time, just remember three important words- stimulate her clitoris.
• Ask her what SHE likes for a change. Try to invest in any additions she might like. Why not ask her if she wants a vibrator or any other sex toy? Women will love you for shifting the focus on to her.
• Once it is over, it is understandable that you will be tired and will want to doze off. Take some time, hold her for a while and tell her you love her. You can also try telling her how much you enjoyed the lovemaking.
Now that you know what women want to hear, invest in some time to think about it. You won't regret it.
Pekkie Aon was a former socialite who used to coach female social escorts in Thailand. Now, she has turned the tables and is teaching men the secrets of female seduction. To date, she has more than 500 male clients in Thailand alone
Majority of her customers swear by her programme! In this free book, Pekkie has included more than 5 female orgasm sex secrets that men are paying her hundreds of dollars to learn. There are only 23 copies left as of now, click here to grab your copy before it runs out!
==> http://www.GivingWomanOrgasm.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pekkie_Aon
Monday, March 23, 2009
10 Libido Enhancing Foods That Will Turn You Into a Bedroom Rock Star
When it comes to enhancing your experience in the bedroom, nothing can top the power of something we all like the most - food. Pun intended, the right foods can fuel your sexual appetite faster than any novelty or "As Seen On TV" device.
The trick is knowing which foods will turn you into a bedroom god or goddess, and why. Below, we'll briefly tell you about ten common foods that will have you rocking your sweethearts world in no time at all. Have fun, but use your new powers wisely!
Top 10 Sexual Powerhouse Foods
1. Bananas - Surprised that it's first? We weren't either. Bananas pack a little thing called bromelain enzymes, B vitamins, and potassium, which are all powerful male libido enhancers. And the shape of a banana, well, need we say more?
2. Figs - And we're not talking about Fig Newton's. If you want to increase your overall stamina in the sack, pick up a bag of fresh figs and eat them before a big night. You'll thank us later.
3. Oysters - We're talking about the raw variety. Down a pound of these before a night in the bedroom, and she'll be calling you "Captain" in no time at all. With the amount of sperm and testosterone pleasing zinc that oysters pack, you'll be sailing her ship like a pro.
4. Pine Nuts - Another natural food that contains zinc, which is essential to boosting male potency, which you know will lead to a better night in the bedroom. Ladies, throw a few in his salad, and he'll never know where his new found power came from.
5. Basil - This one is for the ladies. Sweet basil has been reported throughout the years to increase the female sex drive and make her think all kinds of dirty thoughts. Guys, use this wisely, because it also boosts fertility.
6. Avocado - This amazing fruit is a neutral crowd pleaser. It helps regulate the thyroid gland for the ladies (which means she'll be more "in the mood"), and also contains plenty of potassium and B vitamins, which will have the guys wound up and ready to roll.
7. Celery - I'm sure you've heard stories about how male sweat attracts the ladies? It's true, because of the hormone called androsterone in the sweat. Guess what else has crazy amounts of androsterone? Celery. Do the math.
8. Pumpkin Pie - Here's one that you probably didn't expect on the list...but yes, the sweet smell of pumpkin pie can actually arouse a lot of men. So ladies, if you're not up for baking, just head over to Wal-Mart and pick up some good pumpkin pie room scent.
9. Salmon - The love fish. Salmon is jam packed with B vitamins, which as we've discussed, are essential for maintaining excellent sexual health.
10. Chili Peppers - Seriously, are you surprised? Chili peppers can get your nervous system tweaked out to the max, which can and will boost your feelings of super sexual arousal. Slip a few of these in your favorite hot dish, and you'll both be raring to go after dinner - if you can wait that long.
One of the fastest ways to seriously enhance your love life is to learn how to spice things up in the bedroom. Knowing what you're doing in there will boost your relationship to the next level
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ross_Beckham
The trick is knowing which foods will turn you into a bedroom god or goddess, and why. Below, we'll briefly tell you about ten common foods that will have you rocking your sweethearts world in no time at all. Have fun, but use your new powers wisely!
Top 10 Sexual Powerhouse Foods
1. Bananas - Surprised that it's first? We weren't either. Bananas pack a little thing called bromelain enzymes, B vitamins, and potassium, which are all powerful male libido enhancers. And the shape of a banana, well, need we say more?
2. Figs - And we're not talking about Fig Newton's. If you want to increase your overall stamina in the sack, pick up a bag of fresh figs and eat them before a big night. You'll thank us later.
3. Oysters - We're talking about the raw variety. Down a pound of these before a night in the bedroom, and she'll be calling you "Captain" in no time at all. With the amount of sperm and testosterone pleasing zinc that oysters pack, you'll be sailing her ship like a pro.
4. Pine Nuts - Another natural food that contains zinc, which is essential to boosting male potency, which you know will lead to a better night in the bedroom. Ladies, throw a few in his salad, and he'll never know where his new found power came from.
5. Basil - This one is for the ladies. Sweet basil has been reported throughout the years to increase the female sex drive and make her think all kinds of dirty thoughts. Guys, use this wisely, because it also boosts fertility.
6. Avocado - This amazing fruit is a neutral crowd pleaser. It helps regulate the thyroid gland for the ladies (which means she'll be more "in the mood"), and also contains plenty of potassium and B vitamins, which will have the guys wound up and ready to roll.
7. Celery - I'm sure you've heard stories about how male sweat attracts the ladies? It's true, because of the hormone called androsterone in the sweat. Guess what else has crazy amounts of androsterone? Celery. Do the math.
8. Pumpkin Pie - Here's one that you probably didn't expect on the list...but yes, the sweet smell of pumpkin pie can actually arouse a lot of men. So ladies, if you're not up for baking, just head over to Wal-Mart and pick up some good pumpkin pie room scent.
9. Salmon - The love fish. Salmon is jam packed with B vitamins, which as we've discussed, are essential for maintaining excellent sexual health.
10. Chili Peppers - Seriously, are you surprised? Chili peppers can get your nervous system tweaked out to the max, which can and will boost your feelings of super sexual arousal. Slip a few of these in your favorite hot dish, and you'll both be raring to go after dinner - if you can wait that long.
One of the fastest ways to seriously enhance your love life is to learn how to spice things up in the bedroom. Knowing what you're doing in there will boost your relationship to the next level
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ross_Beckham
How to Make Love - 5 Tips For Making Love the Right Way
Love makes the world go round. And an extension to it is making love to your partner. When you love someone, it can be taken to the next level by making love to that person. Making love connects both of you emotionally and it builds an intimacy that is very healthy for both. Lovemaking is generally full of fun and energy when we are young but after few years of togetherness, it might become just a mundane routine. It is a known fact that not many people experience satisfaction in making love after being together for some time. We get so lost in the rat race that we tend to ignore the most beautiful part of a relationship between two lovers.
What is the solution to this problem? Is there any way to bring back the lost magic and feel the same sexual energy that you once had? Yes! It is possible to bring the spark back into your lovemaking. All it takes is the will to bring it back and small efforts from both the partners. Here are a few tips for making love the right way.
* Setting the mood: Setting the mood is what converts the ordinary into extra ordinary. Imagine the pleasure your partner is going to experience when you set the surroundings for making love. Dim light, soft romantic or passionate music, lighting aroma candles all around, can be used for creating the right atmosphere for making love. Besides setting the mood it gives a feeling of importance to your partner that you wanted to make it special for him/her.
* Sensual touch: When the mood is set, you would not be able to keep your hands off each other. This is where you have to be careful. Don't be in a hurry to start lovemaking. Hold your partner for a long time. Touch each other slowly, tenderly, and sensually and enjoy each other's body. This foreplay is going to elevate your pleasure and make you ready for the main attraction.
* Communication: This is a very important aspect of making love. When you like something your partner is doing, don't forget to appreciate. When you want your partner to do something, don't forget to ask. Don't force your wishes on to your partner and respect his/her wishes too. Communication is not just appreciation or request, you must also tell your partner how much you love him or her, how much you enjoy making love to him/her and how much you need your partner.
* Experiment: Why does making love lose its charm? It is because you want to do it the same way every time. Be experimental and spontaneous! Try making love in different places and in different ways. A quickie once in a while can also be an aphrodisiac. It is going to bring in a lot of excitement and a lot of fun.
* Take your time: Don't be in a rush to finish things off. Remember that you are not performing a duty that needs to be completed in time. Lovemaking is for enjoyment, intimacy and satisfaction. Taking time, holding back will give both of you more intimate experience and in the end, a wonderful climax!
Helping others to develop a deeper, more loving relationship is Brooke's passion. Find out how you can Make Love Grow in your relationship at her blog: http://www.makelovegrow.com/
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Brooke_Lauber
What is the solution to this problem? Is there any way to bring back the lost magic and feel the same sexual energy that you once had? Yes! It is possible to bring the spark back into your lovemaking. All it takes is the will to bring it back and small efforts from both the partners. Here are a few tips for making love the right way.
* Setting the mood: Setting the mood is what converts the ordinary into extra ordinary. Imagine the pleasure your partner is going to experience when you set the surroundings for making love. Dim light, soft romantic or passionate music, lighting aroma candles all around, can be used for creating the right atmosphere for making love. Besides setting the mood it gives a feeling of importance to your partner that you wanted to make it special for him/her.
* Sensual touch: When the mood is set, you would not be able to keep your hands off each other. This is where you have to be careful. Don't be in a hurry to start lovemaking. Hold your partner for a long time. Touch each other slowly, tenderly, and sensually and enjoy each other's body. This foreplay is going to elevate your pleasure and make you ready for the main attraction.
* Communication: This is a very important aspect of making love. When you like something your partner is doing, don't forget to appreciate. When you want your partner to do something, don't forget to ask. Don't force your wishes on to your partner and respect his/her wishes too. Communication is not just appreciation or request, you must also tell your partner how much you love him or her, how much you enjoy making love to him/her and how much you need your partner.
* Experiment: Why does making love lose its charm? It is because you want to do it the same way every time. Be experimental and spontaneous! Try making love in different places and in different ways. A quickie once in a while can also be an aphrodisiac. It is going to bring in a lot of excitement and a lot of fun.
* Take your time: Don't be in a rush to finish things off. Remember that you are not performing a duty that needs to be completed in time. Lovemaking is for enjoyment, intimacy and satisfaction. Taking time, holding back will give both of you more intimate experience and in the end, a wonderful climax!
Helping others to develop a deeper, more loving relationship is Brooke's passion. Find out how you can Make Love Grow in your relationship at her blog: http://www.makelovegrow.com/
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Brooke_Lauber
The 7 Christian Sex Laws For Better Sex In Marriage
The amount of sexual, romantic, and intimate satisfaction you expect from your marriage is largely affected by your ability to constantly and consistently reinforce the reasons why you and your lover chose to wed. I promise you can enjoy giving and receiving better sex with hyper satisfaction so long as you are willing to do three things:
1. Pray with God and each other
2. Take the time to uncover and workout the 'little-meaningless-issues' in your marriage that turn into big disagreements.
3. Continue to always want/ask for an increase in the intimacy department of your marriage.
In addition to these three things though, I have a set of rules - Jacob's Sex Laws that I recommend to Christian couples who want to improve the intimacy in their marriage.
1. Be there.
2. Use your mind.
3. Use props.
4. Take your time.
5. Get Feedback.
6. Use everything.
7. Always care outside.
Be There
One of the biggest factors of great sexual chemistry that's overlooked is being unattached to what's going on. It doesn't matter whether you are on the giving end or receiving end of sex; it's important to stay focused and be there. Have you ever heard the saying of 'physically here, mentally somewhere else'? Some days you may have to work hard to keep from getting distracted. The bills will still get paid and Johnny will do his homework on time, so for the moment - just relax and enjoy the moment.
Use your mind
Just because you may be in the habit of physically going through the motions of sex does not mean that's the way it's supposed to be. The best kind of sex is always an emotional journey like a 747 airplane's gradual climb to the top of the clouded blue lit sky and a comfortable descent in paradise. Use your mind to think of new positions, things to say, different ways to say it, different ways to kiss, a great sex story can always add extra excitement to the night.
Use Props
You don't always have to be in the bed to have sex. The slightest change in your sex location can make a huge difference in interest, desire, and arousal. Far too often the bed is used as the main center of attraction for sex.
Take your time
One of the biggest romance and intimacy killers of all time is the refusal to actively engage in foreplay. After dinner sit at the table and talk, talk about things you don't normally talk about and ask questions that will arouse your spouse. Be flirtatious in a way that is irresistible and tease your spouse to no end. The next move to make is to kiss, fondle, and undress - but slooooooooooowwww down. Some nights it will be better to take one article of clothing off at a time (with music on in the background and your 'sexy' face) than to lay there and just wait for it.
Get Feedback
Is there anything I can do better? Is there anything I do that totally annoys you? Every now and then a sex survey is necessary for both your benefit and your spouse's. Maybe you'll find out that he likes to have the lights on so he can watch the action. Or maybe you'll find out that she likes to have her hair stroked and be hugged tightly. Most sex experts do not mention the importance of a feedback loop but it is important in your marriage considering how feelings, moods, attitudes can change over time.
Use everything
Being able to multi-task/touch is the name of the game and will work miracles you never thought were possible. I would like to say think of yourself like an octopus if I may do so, but in that light - if you can rub her feet while kissing in the missionary position you will create a huge surge of arousal by hitting those erotic zones. As a wife - if you can rub oil on his chest while straddling him and telling him your fantasies, you will drive your husband insane...to the moon and back.
Always care outside
The factor that we drive home the most and always stress is that sex does not start in the bedroom; it never has and never will - and the sooner you can grasp this concept is the sooner you ensure you will always enjoy great sex. You see, thinking about each other and being happy with each other outside of the bedroom is the key to having outrageously exciting sex. Being able to hold hands, kiss, laugh, share ideas, and secrets is what fuels the fire....sex is just the way to put it out.
Always remember and know that your marriage is extremely valuable and the intimacy you share with your spouse is another way of making it stronger.
Jacob Thomas publishes Christian Sex 101, a Christian blog that gives daily tips on sexuality, marriage, and intimacy improvement
The site is also home to the #1 book on Christian Sex that has been recommended by hundreds of users on Yahoo and iVillage
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jacob_Thomas
1. Pray with God and each other
2. Take the time to uncover and workout the 'little-meaningless-issues' in your marriage that turn into big disagreements.
3. Continue to always want/ask for an increase in the intimacy department of your marriage.
In addition to these three things though, I have a set of rules - Jacob's Sex Laws that I recommend to Christian couples who want to improve the intimacy in their marriage.
1. Be there.
2. Use your mind.
3. Use props.
4. Take your time.
5. Get Feedback.
6. Use everything.
7. Always care outside.
Be There
One of the biggest factors of great sexual chemistry that's overlooked is being unattached to what's going on. It doesn't matter whether you are on the giving end or receiving end of sex; it's important to stay focused and be there. Have you ever heard the saying of 'physically here, mentally somewhere else'? Some days you may have to work hard to keep from getting distracted. The bills will still get paid and Johnny will do his homework on time, so for the moment - just relax and enjoy the moment.
Use your mind
Just because you may be in the habit of physically going through the motions of sex does not mean that's the way it's supposed to be. The best kind of sex is always an emotional journey like a 747 airplane's gradual climb to the top of the clouded blue lit sky and a comfortable descent in paradise. Use your mind to think of new positions, things to say, different ways to say it, different ways to kiss, a great sex story can always add extra excitement to the night.
Use Props
You don't always have to be in the bed to have sex. The slightest change in your sex location can make a huge difference in interest, desire, and arousal. Far too often the bed is used as the main center of attraction for sex.
Take your time
One of the biggest romance and intimacy killers of all time is the refusal to actively engage in foreplay. After dinner sit at the table and talk, talk about things you don't normally talk about and ask questions that will arouse your spouse. Be flirtatious in a way that is irresistible and tease your spouse to no end. The next move to make is to kiss, fondle, and undress - but slooooooooooowwww down. Some nights it will be better to take one article of clothing off at a time (with music on in the background and your 'sexy' face) than to lay there and just wait for it.
Get Feedback
Is there anything I can do better? Is there anything I do that totally annoys you? Every now and then a sex survey is necessary for both your benefit and your spouse's. Maybe you'll find out that he likes to have the lights on so he can watch the action. Or maybe you'll find out that she likes to have her hair stroked and be hugged tightly. Most sex experts do not mention the importance of a feedback loop but it is important in your marriage considering how feelings, moods, attitudes can change over time.
Use everything
Being able to multi-task/touch is the name of the game and will work miracles you never thought were possible. I would like to say think of yourself like an octopus if I may do so, but in that light - if you can rub her feet while kissing in the missionary position you will create a huge surge of arousal by hitting those erotic zones. As a wife - if you can rub oil on his chest while straddling him and telling him your fantasies, you will drive your husband insane...to the moon and back.
Always care outside
The factor that we drive home the most and always stress is that sex does not start in the bedroom; it never has and never will - and the sooner you can grasp this concept is the sooner you ensure you will always enjoy great sex. You see, thinking about each other and being happy with each other outside of the bedroom is the key to having outrageously exciting sex. Being able to hold hands, kiss, laugh, share ideas, and secrets is what fuels the fire....sex is just the way to put it out.
Always remember and know that your marriage is extremely valuable and the intimacy you share with your spouse is another way of making it stronger.
Jacob Thomas publishes Christian Sex 101, a Christian blog that gives daily tips on sexuality, marriage, and intimacy improvement
The site is also home to the #1 book on Christian Sex that has been recommended by hundreds of users on Yahoo and iVillage
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jacob_Thomas
She Rejected You - Some Reasons Why It Happened & What You Can Do
There is just something that makes women NOT get attracted to men who have lower STATUS than themselves. There is always tension when a lady is taller than her man, she makes more money than him or when a guy is being 'led around' by his girlfriend or wife..
SCENE 1 You ask the lady where she would like to go. If she seems indifferent, make a decision: take her to a place YOU know and think she would like.If you don't, she won't see you as a leader.
SCENE 2 If you are dating this lady who seems so beautiful, such great company and seems successful too, you think you like her A LOT. You ask her out a second time and she agrees.
DO NOT:
1 tell her that you're beginning to have feelings for her
2. do not call her the next day to ask her out again. You need to: give her a little space - let her 'miss' you just a bit.Let her pursue you.
SCENE 3. You meet this nice babe and get her phone number and email address. You set a date and what? - she doesn't turn up. she was 'busy'.Call her tomorrow and she is still 'busy'. What happened? This 'babe' probably committed herself and later changed her mind... What to do? Give her a few days and then call again- confront her with her poor behaviour.
If there is no change, move on.
HOT TIP:
When you ask a lady what she 'wants to do', you put her in control. Most women DO NOT LIKE THIS. It makes them well uncomfortable.
* If you can't make up your mind about where to take her, and then wind up taking her to her favourite cafe, you have failed.Why? You have shown that you CAN'T LEAD.
*Remember to always treat your girlfriend / date well.
So - what kind of men are women attracted to?
~Men who LEAD. Men who are in control of themselves and situations.
~Men who MAKE DECISIONS and stand by them. (This is why you can
ask a girl what she wants and take her to her favourite cafe / club
tell her how you feel about her and watch as she loses interest in you.)
~Men who treat them well but don't allow the woman to control them.
~
Men who show respect for women enough to take no for an answer.
Men who look after their personal hygiene and grooming
~ Men who show interest in the lady - as a person not as a sex object.
The list goes on.
CONCLUSION:
Attraction is not like other areas of life.It just happens. Guys, being too 'nice' won't earn you any more points. Attraction seems to be triggered by things that make no sense at all and can be easily destroyed. ver to you...
AUTHOR:
Award winning Beauty Specialist / Make up Artist
Lucy Nadia Muyemba is an online entrepreneur
with 2+ experience as a match maker
Subscribe to receive her free Steps to Success newsletter. send a blank email to: 4menonly@realreply.com
Or visit http://datingadvisor.psend.com for 1000s of thought provoking Dating, Beauty and Self development tips
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lucy_Nadia
SCENE 1 You ask the lady where she would like to go. If she seems indifferent, make a decision: take her to a place YOU know and think she would like.If you don't, she won't see you as a leader.
SCENE 2 If you are dating this lady who seems so beautiful, such great company and seems successful too, you think you like her A LOT. You ask her out a second time and she agrees.
DO NOT:
1 tell her that you're beginning to have feelings for her
2. do not call her the next day to ask her out again. You need to: give her a little space - let her 'miss' you just a bit.Let her pursue you.
SCENE 3. You meet this nice babe and get her phone number and email address. You set a date and what? - she doesn't turn up. she was 'busy'.Call her tomorrow and she is still 'busy'. What happened? This 'babe' probably committed herself and later changed her mind... What to do? Give her a few days and then call again- confront her with her poor behaviour.
If there is no change, move on.
HOT TIP:
When you ask a lady what she 'wants to do', you put her in control. Most women DO NOT LIKE THIS. It makes them well uncomfortable.
* If you can't make up your mind about where to take her, and then wind up taking her to her favourite cafe, you have failed.Why? You have shown that you CAN'T LEAD.
*Remember to always treat your girlfriend / date well.
So - what kind of men are women attracted to?
~Men who LEAD. Men who are in control of themselves and situations.
~Men who MAKE DECISIONS and stand by them. (This is why you can
ask a girl what she wants and take her to her favourite cafe / club
tell her how you feel about her and watch as she loses interest in you.)
~Men who treat them well but don't allow the woman to control them.
~
Men who show respect for women enough to take no for an answer.
Men who look after their personal hygiene and grooming
~ Men who show interest in the lady - as a person not as a sex object.
The list goes on.
CONCLUSION:
Attraction is not like other areas of life.It just happens. Guys, being too 'nice' won't earn you any more points. Attraction seems to be triggered by things that make no sense at all and can be easily destroyed. ver to you...
AUTHOR:
Award winning Beauty Specialist / Make up Artist
Lucy Nadia Muyemba is an online entrepreneur
with 2+ experience as a match maker
Subscribe to receive her free Steps to Success newsletter. send a blank email to: 4menonly@realreply.com
Or visit http://datingadvisor.psend.com for 1000s of thought provoking Dating, Beauty and Self development tips
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lucy_Nadia
Hooking Up vs. Lasting Love: It's Your Choice
"hooking Up" - "friends with benefits" - "booty call"
These terms have become all too familiar in today's dating world. Are they words that you can relate to? Have you lived them in some way? If so, how have you felt about the experience(s) both during and after? Chances are that you have mixed feelings at best. Depending on your age and sex, you may give a somewhat different response to this question. Whatever your answer, a close look at this "dating experience" that impacts so many singles in so many ways may be useful to you as you think about what your long-term relationship goals are and what you REALLY want from a relationship.
So what exactly do these terms mean?
"Hooking up" is getting together for sex. There is generally no formal "date" involved.
"Friends with benefits" usually refers to two people who are "friends" who also have sex together. Again, there's a distinction between what they share and "dating".
"Booty call" usually describes the act of a man (woman) calling up another person to come over for sex. The sex doesn't follow dinner, a movie or other "quality" time together, getting to really know each other. It's physical.
Do you define this activity (even loosely) as dating? Has this become a new intimacy for some or many of you? If so, it's important to look at how/if it meets your needs and if it aligns with your basic values and relationship wants and goals.
Begin by asking yourself some core questions, such as:
Am I comfortable with intimacy?
Am I comfortable with a purely physical relationship?
Am I able to be physically involved with someone while remaining emotionally detached?
How do I feel about myself when I engage in this behavior?
Am I doing this to please someone or win his or her affection?
Is monogamy and marriage my goal?
If your answers reflect discordance between how you feel and what you do; it would be helpful to understand the reasons behind your behavior. Do any of these sound familiar?
"It's convenient"
"It's easy"
"It's safe"
"It requires no commitment on my part"
In addition to these explanations, some singles express a belief that "everyone does it" or "it's expected". Therefore, they often report engaging in it, but not feeling really ok or satisfied afterwards. Others use it as a substitute for real intimacy, referencing their difficulties in meeting and dating in general.
Then there are the people who have sex hoping it will lead to love. This too is a desire for intimacy that can lead to sadness and disappointment and the possibility of contacting a dangerous and life-altering infection. It reminds me of the line in a song, "if I can love you good enough on the outside to make you feel it on the inside, then maybe you will stay..."
If you recognize yourself in any of these statements and want to address your issue, begin with an inventory of your values and self-awareness.
Read the articles: "Defining Intimacy", "Clarifying And Living Your Values", and "How's Your Self-Awareness".
You can find these on: http://www.consum-mate.com/articles.htm
If you would find feedback that deals specifically with these issues helpful, take the "What's Your Intimacy IQ" and "Are You Relationship Ready" quizzes.
These can be found on: http://www.consum-mate.com/quiz.htm
Once you have determined what you really want from a relationship you can begin to make clear, thought out choices that will open the path that points in the direction you wish to go. Until you do so, you face the possibility of more disappointing and short-lived encounters that leave you feeling more alone and less hopeful about the possibility for lasting happy love.
Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder of http://www.consum-mate.com. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men’s Health, Star (regularly quoted body language expert), and Nirvana magazines.
She has been featured on abcnews.com; discovery.health.com; aolnews.com; MSN.com, Match.com and planetearthradio.com. Toni offers dating help and relationship advice as the weekly love and dating coach on the KTRS Radio Morning Show (St. Louis, MO) and through her syndicated column, “Dear Dating Coach.” Her newsletter, The Art Of Intimacy, helps over fifty-five hundred subscribers with its dating and relationship advice. Toni is a member of The International Coach Federation, The International Association Of Coaches and The National Association of Social Workers
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Toni_Coleman
These terms have become all too familiar in today's dating world. Are they words that you can relate to? Have you lived them in some way? If so, how have you felt about the experience(s) both during and after? Chances are that you have mixed feelings at best. Depending on your age and sex, you may give a somewhat different response to this question. Whatever your answer, a close look at this "dating experience" that impacts so many singles in so many ways may be useful to you as you think about what your long-term relationship goals are and what you REALLY want from a relationship.
So what exactly do these terms mean?
"Hooking up" is getting together for sex. There is generally no formal "date" involved.
"Friends with benefits" usually refers to two people who are "friends" who also have sex together. Again, there's a distinction between what they share and "dating".
"Booty call" usually describes the act of a man (woman) calling up another person to come over for sex. The sex doesn't follow dinner, a movie or other "quality" time together, getting to really know each other. It's physical.
Do you define this activity (even loosely) as dating? Has this become a new intimacy for some or many of you? If so, it's important to look at how/if it meets your needs and if it aligns with your basic values and relationship wants and goals.
Begin by asking yourself some core questions, such as:
Am I comfortable with intimacy?
Am I comfortable with a purely physical relationship?
Am I able to be physically involved with someone while remaining emotionally detached?
How do I feel about myself when I engage in this behavior?
Am I doing this to please someone or win his or her affection?
Is monogamy and marriage my goal?
If your answers reflect discordance between how you feel and what you do; it would be helpful to understand the reasons behind your behavior. Do any of these sound familiar?
"It's convenient"
"It's easy"
"It's safe"
"It requires no commitment on my part"
In addition to these explanations, some singles express a belief that "everyone does it" or "it's expected". Therefore, they often report engaging in it, but not feeling really ok or satisfied afterwards. Others use it as a substitute for real intimacy, referencing their difficulties in meeting and dating in general.
Then there are the people who have sex hoping it will lead to love. This too is a desire for intimacy that can lead to sadness and disappointment and the possibility of contacting a dangerous and life-altering infection. It reminds me of the line in a song, "if I can love you good enough on the outside to make you feel it on the inside, then maybe you will stay..."
If you recognize yourself in any of these statements and want to address your issue, begin with an inventory of your values and self-awareness.
Read the articles: "Defining Intimacy", "Clarifying And Living Your Values", and "How's Your Self-Awareness".
You can find these on: http://www.consum-mate.com/articles.htm
If you would find feedback that deals specifically with these issues helpful, take the "What's Your Intimacy IQ" and "Are You Relationship Ready" quizzes.
These can be found on: http://www.consum-mate.com/quiz.htm
Once you have determined what you really want from a relationship you can begin to make clear, thought out choices that will open the path that points in the direction you wish to go. Until you do so, you face the possibility of more disappointing and short-lived encounters that leave you feeling more alone and less hopeful about the possibility for lasting happy love.
Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder of http://www.consum-mate.com. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men’s Health, Star (regularly quoted body language expert), and Nirvana magazines.
She has been featured on abcnews.com; discovery.health.com; aolnews.com; MSN.com, Match.com and planetearthradio.com. Toni offers dating help and relationship advice as the weekly love and dating coach on the KTRS Radio Morning Show (St. Louis, MO) and through her syndicated column, “Dear Dating Coach.” Her newsletter, The Art Of Intimacy, helps over fifty-five hundred subscribers with its dating and relationship advice. Toni is a member of The International Coach Federation, The International Association Of Coaches and The National Association of Social Workers
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Toni_Coleman
Monday, March 2, 2009
What Women Really Want
I get a lot of emails, and many of them come from women who read my blogs or have read my book. One of the common topics that I hear repeated, not only in the emails that I received, but also in listening to conversations throughout my everyday travels, concerns what women actually want from a man. A lot of the emails that I receive are from female readers who say, "YES! The warrior is the kind of man that every woman wants! Where are men like this today?"
Let them know a real man,
who lives as he was meant to live.
Marcus Aurelius
It seems that no matter how hard ....Hollywood...., celebrities, feminists, etc. try to push the image of the metro-sexual male or the feminist man who has to depend on the wife to take care of things because he is a spineless, witless, buffoon, deep inside most women still love the stereotypical warrior which I write about in my book and blogs. They want a man who has character, integrity and honor. They want a man who has courage and who is willing to take care of them, provide for them, and protect them.
Now, I'm not saying that women want someone who simply wants to keep them pregnant and barefoot. That is not how the warrior looks at his wife or his girlfriend at all. If you have read much of my writing, you already know that. The warrior has the utmost respect for his wife and family. He spends time with them. They are the most important thing in the world to him, which is why he is willing to provide for them and protect them, even unto the death. No matter what other duties the warrior has, his wife and family always come first, if he is truly walking the path of the warrior. And this is something that every woman wants.
If you would be wise, provide for your house,
and love your wife in your arms. Fill her stomach,
clothe her back; oil is the remedy for her limbs.
Gladden her heart during your lifetime,
for she is an estate profitable to his lord.
Do not be harsh, for gentleness
masters her more than strength.
Give to her that for which she sighsand that toward which her eye looks.
Ptah-Hotep
I realize that many of my readers will disagree with me on this point. They will want to argue that their duty to their country or their fellow soldiers comes first, or that their duty as a cop or a fireman comes first. To this I say hogwash! As a warrior, your first and foremost duty is to your wife and family, not your job or your profession. It is one thing to put other things first when you do not have a wife or family, but once you make that commitment, your priorities have to change. And this is what most women that have either written me or talked with me, seem to want - a man who is willing to put her first, a man that she can always count on to be there for her.
I can hear the feathers ruffling as I type, "What do you mean Bohdi?? Are you saying that I should neglect my duty??" Not at all, that is not what I am saying. What I am saying is that your wife and family have to come first. We all still have to work and do our job, and many times we had rather be at home with our family instead of working, but that's life. This doesn't mean that you don't put your family first. Working is providing for your family, and is a necessity in life, but you had better have the pecking order straight in your mind. If you don't put your family first, who will?
What I am saying is that the warrior walks by his own set of rules and values, his own code if you will. He has the courage to live by his own law. He isn't a sheep. No one else controls him or tells him what does or does not come first in his life. He sets the rules and sometimes they may not jive with the norm of society. So what? He is not concerned with society's political correctness or the way things have always been done. He is concerned with his personal duty, and he decides the hierarchy of his duties.
Highly evolved people have
their own conscience as pure law.
Lao Tzu
What I must do is all that concerns me,
not what the people think.
Emerson
The women that I have talked to want a man who is strong enough to decide what he believes in and who will stand for those beliefs. They want a man with backbone and character. They want someone who they can trust with their life, who they can depend on without question. Women want a man who they know is honest, sincere, and who will put their family first. A man who will honor and respect them is at the top of their list. No matter how much our "advanced" society pushes the image of the lovable buffoon as the image of the nice, desirable husband, this is not the feedback that women are giving me.
Do the character traits above sound familiar? Well, they do if you have spent much time reading my blog or have read Warrior Wisdom, they describe the warrior. The warrior is a man of honor, character, and integrity. He has a strong sense of filial duty and duty to his family. He is honest, trustworthy and sincere. He is a man of courage and has both the will and ability to back up his ideals. The warrior understands respect and honor, and they are a synergistic part of his life. The true warrior is truly the man that women describe to me as their perfect man.
The master warrior is
a man of character,
a man of wisdom and insight.
Forrest E. Morgan
Many women seem to go for the bad boy. Maybe this is because they really want someone who is a warrior, but their image of what the warrior really is, is skewed by movies and television. They consider a man who is rugged and tough to be the image of the warrior, but soon they find that this bad boy, is not a true warrior, but rather a thug. He lacks the character and principles of the true warrior, which is truly what women are looking for in a man. Soon they trade the bad boy for the nice guy, which although he may not be a warrior, he is at least not a thug and will provide a home for her.
Look for benefits that last.
Ten Bears
It is not enough to make something look good.
The underlying principle must be good.
Joyce Sequichie Hifler
What women are truly looking for is the perfect combination of the bad boy and the provider. The man who has principles, character, and is rugged and tough enough to protect her if the occasion arises. This is the picture that has been painted for me from the many emails that I have received, and it is the image of the true warrior - the man of excellence. Balance is important in everything, and I think that it is also important when it comes to what women what from men.
What do you think ladies? Am I on target here or is my outlook, which is based on reader feedback and personal observations, skewed? Of course I realize that everyone looks for something different, but I am talking in generalities here. Overall this is what I have found that the majority of women want. Give us some feedback here...I hope I don't get crucified after this one!! ;)
Stop talking about what the
good man is like, and just be one.
Marcus Aurelius
The superior man demands it of himself;
the inferior man demands it of others.
Confucius
Bohdi Sanders, Ph.D.
Dr. Bohdi Sanders is the author of the new book Warrior Wisdom: Ageless Wisdom for the Modern Warrior. Dr. Sanders has a doctorate in Natural Health and in Naturopathy, a black belt in Shotokan Karate, is a Reiki Master, a Certified Personal Trainer, a Certified Specialist in Martial Arts Conditioning, and currently teaches history in Colorado.
His personal web site is: http://TheWisdomWarrior.com
You may reach Dr. Sanders through his email at WarriorWisdom@comcast.net.
A limited number of signed special edition copies of Warrior Wisdom are still available. get your copy soon before they sell out. You can order your copy from: http://thewisdomwarrior.com/
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bohdi_Sanders
Let them know a real man,
who lives as he was meant to live.
Marcus Aurelius
It seems that no matter how hard ....Hollywood...., celebrities, feminists, etc. try to push the image of the metro-sexual male or the feminist man who has to depend on the wife to take care of things because he is a spineless, witless, buffoon, deep inside most women still love the stereotypical warrior which I write about in my book and blogs. They want a man who has character, integrity and honor. They want a man who has courage and who is willing to take care of them, provide for them, and protect them.
Now, I'm not saying that women want someone who simply wants to keep them pregnant and barefoot. That is not how the warrior looks at his wife or his girlfriend at all. If you have read much of my writing, you already know that. The warrior has the utmost respect for his wife and family. He spends time with them. They are the most important thing in the world to him, which is why he is willing to provide for them and protect them, even unto the death. No matter what other duties the warrior has, his wife and family always come first, if he is truly walking the path of the warrior. And this is something that every woman wants.
If you would be wise, provide for your house,
and love your wife in your arms. Fill her stomach,
clothe her back; oil is the remedy for her limbs.
Gladden her heart during your lifetime,
for she is an estate profitable to his lord.
Do not be harsh, for gentleness
masters her more than strength.
Give to her that for which she sighsand that toward which her eye looks.
Ptah-Hotep
I realize that many of my readers will disagree with me on this point. They will want to argue that their duty to their country or their fellow soldiers comes first, or that their duty as a cop or a fireman comes first. To this I say hogwash! As a warrior, your first and foremost duty is to your wife and family, not your job or your profession. It is one thing to put other things first when you do not have a wife or family, but once you make that commitment, your priorities have to change. And this is what most women that have either written me or talked with me, seem to want - a man who is willing to put her first, a man that she can always count on to be there for her.
I can hear the feathers ruffling as I type, "What do you mean Bohdi?? Are you saying that I should neglect my duty??" Not at all, that is not what I am saying. What I am saying is that your wife and family have to come first. We all still have to work and do our job, and many times we had rather be at home with our family instead of working, but that's life. This doesn't mean that you don't put your family first. Working is providing for your family, and is a necessity in life, but you had better have the pecking order straight in your mind. If you don't put your family first, who will?
What I am saying is that the warrior walks by his own set of rules and values, his own code if you will. He has the courage to live by his own law. He isn't a sheep. No one else controls him or tells him what does or does not come first in his life. He sets the rules and sometimes they may not jive with the norm of society. So what? He is not concerned with society's political correctness or the way things have always been done. He is concerned with his personal duty, and he decides the hierarchy of his duties.
Highly evolved people have
their own conscience as pure law.
Lao Tzu
What I must do is all that concerns me,
not what the people think.
Emerson
The women that I have talked to want a man who is strong enough to decide what he believes in and who will stand for those beliefs. They want a man with backbone and character. They want someone who they can trust with their life, who they can depend on without question. Women want a man who they know is honest, sincere, and who will put their family first. A man who will honor and respect them is at the top of their list. No matter how much our "advanced" society pushes the image of the lovable buffoon as the image of the nice, desirable husband, this is not the feedback that women are giving me.
Do the character traits above sound familiar? Well, they do if you have spent much time reading my blog or have read Warrior Wisdom, they describe the warrior. The warrior is a man of honor, character, and integrity. He has a strong sense of filial duty and duty to his family. He is honest, trustworthy and sincere. He is a man of courage and has both the will and ability to back up his ideals. The warrior understands respect and honor, and they are a synergistic part of his life. The true warrior is truly the man that women describe to me as their perfect man.
The master warrior is
a man of character,
a man of wisdom and insight.
Forrest E. Morgan
Many women seem to go for the bad boy. Maybe this is because they really want someone who is a warrior, but their image of what the warrior really is, is skewed by movies and television. They consider a man who is rugged and tough to be the image of the warrior, but soon they find that this bad boy, is not a true warrior, but rather a thug. He lacks the character and principles of the true warrior, which is truly what women are looking for in a man. Soon they trade the bad boy for the nice guy, which although he may not be a warrior, he is at least not a thug and will provide a home for her.
Look for benefits that last.
Ten Bears
It is not enough to make something look good.
The underlying principle must be good.
Joyce Sequichie Hifler
What women are truly looking for is the perfect combination of the bad boy and the provider. The man who has principles, character, and is rugged and tough enough to protect her if the occasion arises. This is the picture that has been painted for me from the many emails that I have received, and it is the image of the true warrior - the man of excellence. Balance is important in everything, and I think that it is also important when it comes to what women what from men.
What do you think ladies? Am I on target here or is my outlook, which is based on reader feedback and personal observations, skewed? Of course I realize that everyone looks for something different, but I am talking in generalities here. Overall this is what I have found that the majority of women want. Give us some feedback here...I hope I don't get crucified after this one!! ;)
Stop talking about what the
good man is like, and just be one.
Marcus Aurelius
The superior man demands it of himself;
the inferior man demands it of others.
Confucius
Bohdi Sanders, Ph.D.
Dr. Bohdi Sanders is the author of the new book Warrior Wisdom: Ageless Wisdom for the Modern Warrior. Dr. Sanders has a doctorate in Natural Health and in Naturopathy, a black belt in Shotokan Karate, is a Reiki Master, a Certified Personal Trainer, a Certified Specialist in Martial Arts Conditioning, and currently teaches history in Colorado.
His personal web site is: http://TheWisdomWarrior.com
You may reach Dr. Sanders through his email at WarriorWisdom@comcast.net.
A limited number of signed special edition copies of Warrior Wisdom are still available. get your copy soon before they sell out. You can order your copy from: http://thewisdomwarrior.com/
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bohdi_Sanders
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