marriageisbest

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Eight Danger Signs That Your Marriage Is In Trouble

You argue about the same things over and over again and never seem to clear the air. One of the causes of this menace is when both of you try to claim innocence; no one wants to accept the mistake done. This type of attitude breeds pride.
You feel criticized and put down by your partner frequently and this leaves you feeling less than "good enough." According to renowned relationship experts, criticism is one of the main reasons why marriages collapse.
You have difficulty being vulnerable with your significant other and when you do your worst fears are actualized - you're left regretting that you revealed your feelings and desires.
One or both of you put your children or others first. If you put your children first, day in and day out, you will exhaust your marriage.No one is saying you should hate your children or desert them, but all we are saying is that you should adjust your marriage priority-your spouse first before your children.
You don't enjoy each other's friends or families so begin socializing away from one another. This may start out as an occasional weeknight out. But if not nipped in the bud, it can spill over into weekends - ideally when couples have an opportunity to spend more time together.
Unforgettable hurt. You have ghosts from past relationships that surface because they were not dealt with. You may overreact to fairly innocent things your partner says or does because it triggers a memory from a past relationship. Clean the slate of your memory of the past mistakes, hurtful attitude of your spouse.
Your needs for sexual intimacy are vastly different and/or you rarely have sex. Relationship expert John Thomas writes, "Whether it is him or you that has lost interest, a lack of regular intimacy in a marriage is a bad sign. Sex is the glue that binds, it is the way adults play and enjoy each other."
When you disagree you seldom resolve your differences. You fall into the trap of blaming each other and fail to compromise or apologize. As a result, you experience less warmth and closeness.

Resolve today to make your marriage work by avoiding these danger signs

Temperament And marriage- Phlegmatic Husband

The truth remains that if marriage must succeed, character differences must be put into consideration. We are at the last segment of ‘Temperament And Marriage’ of which phlegmatic husband is our focus.
I. THE STRENGTH OF A PHLEGMATIC HUSBAND

He is the easiest person to get along with and is by nature the most likeable of all the temperaments.
He is calm, composed and never seems agitated no matter the circumstances around him.
He has a retentive memory and is capable of being a fine imitator
1. The phlegmatic tends to be a spectator in life and tries not to get very involved with the activities of others.
2. He is consistent every time he is seen; he also does not lack friends because he enjoys them and has a natural dry sense of humour.
3. Whenever roused to action however, his efficient qualities become apparent.
4. He will not volunteer for leadership on his own but when it is forced on him, he proves to be a very capable leader.
5. He is a natural peacemaker because he is kind and rarely gets angry. He prefers to be cheated for peace to reign.

II. THE WEAKNESSES OF A PHLEGMATIC HUSBAND

He lacks drive and ambition, therefore rarely initiates an activity. He usually gives excuses to do the expected.
1. He is selfish. This makes him self-indulgent and unconcerned about his family’s needs for activity.
2. No one can be more stubborn than a phlegmatic but he is so diplomatic about it that people do not realize it.
3. A phlegmatic person could be mistaken for a Christian even as an unbeliever. He is polite and diplomatic about the expression of the old sinful nature.
4. He is prone to procrastination and also makes slow methodical decisions which can enrage his wife and others
5. He is very fearful under the surface and this in some cases makes his wife rule him, especially if she is a choleric.
6. He doesn’t discipline his children but Gives them every privilege to behave as they like.
7. He is not sexually motivated, but flows with whatever is given to him.

As a phlegmatic husband and the head of your family try as much as you can to take up your spiritual and conjugal responsibilities ensuring that your wife and children are happy.

Unfaithfulness In Marriage

Unfaithfulness is the ability of husband and wife not being trusted or loyal to one another. When married people begin to live unfaithfully to each other, definitely their marriage is bound to collapse. Our lesson today will show you how to avoid unfaithfulness in your marriage.
I. Circumstances that lead To Unfaithfulness In Marriage. Before a partner will become unfaithful there are circumstances that lead to it. Let’s see some of them:
(A) Sickness (B) Childlessness
(C) Sudden Prosperity (D) Joblessness
(E) Death of husband/Wife (F) Long separation due to business trip or job
(G) Old age (H) fading away of beauty/unattractiveness (I) Impotence
(J) Lack of Communication
(K) Unhealthy work circumstances. e.g. (i) Working for long hours together with an opposite sex in the same office. (ii) Trekking home together after work. (iii) Staying together in the same hotel for important work assignments.
II. How to overcome Unfaithfulness in Marriage
1. Have The Fear of God and be obedient to His words (Gen.39:7-12)
2. Live a prayerful life. And pray together with your spouse. (Matt.26:41)
3. Discuss areas of temptations together (James 5:16) (If any one approached you for friendship as a wife discuss it with your husband. Likewise as a husband, if a woman is showing interest in you, let your wife know.
4. Let your partner know about favours received from opposite sex. In fact let your partner call and appreciate him/her
5. Avoid close relationship with opposite sex (calling frequently to discuss irrelevant issues, chatting or sending text messages.)

Allow your partner access to your phone (i.e. let her/him pick your call)
Don’t deny each other sex. For that can lead to marital unfaithfulness.(1Cor.7:2-5)
Talk positively about your partner in the presence of someone you suspect is interested in you.
Wear your wedding rings always.

God will not be happy with you if your marriage fails. Please ensure that you and your partner make your marriage succeed. Great rewards are waiting for both of you in heaven for being faithful to each other.

Temperaments And Marriage - Choleric Wife

knowing the character of your spouse helps a lot. It brings understanding in the family.In this article you are going to learn how to understand your Choleric wife.

I. The Strengths of A Choleric Wife.

1. A Choleric wife is bossy, overly aggressive and domineering. She is often considered a threat by other men and resented and judged by other women who tend to want to cut her down to size.

2.She is very energetic and outgoing and always up to something new.

3.Courageous –she believes she can do whatever she sets her mind to do. No matter the obstacles, she will hold firmly to her belief that she can do it.

4.Determined -she views life as series of problems to solve or challenges to overcome. To her ,problems are means of motivation than discouragement.

5.Crusade – she notices wrongs and injustices of life and feels compelled to set things right. She is the one who crusades for change.

6.Open and honest - You don’t have to wonder what she is thinking or feeling because she will let you know right up front whether you want to know or not. Often she has an excellent insight that is ignored because someone doesn’t like the way it was presented.

7.Effective disciplinarian - She spells out exactly what she expects and carries herself with an air of confident authority that children respect. Her children are usually exceptionally well- behaved. If she is a christian, she will be used powerfully by God as a good leader.

8.She is a forceful woman with many goals in mind. She may help with the finances of the home.

II. Weakness of A Choleric Wife.

1. She gets angry quickly - she can be mean to her husband, children and even total strangers. She may also use her mean streak to control her husband especially if she married a phlegmatic man, which is often the case.

2.She will often control her family by fear and intimidation. She can be harsh and may

hurt people’s feelings with tough language and hash unloving attitude.

3. Self-centered -She’s interested in just herself. She doesn’t have human sympathy.

4.Uses people -doesn’t take time to make friends. She is not interested in two-way give and

take relationship required to maintain a long-term friendship. She uses people to accomplish

her dreams.

5.Workaholic -she works beyond working hours. She has no time for rest. Every moment to her is for work. She resents lazy people.

Let God help you understand yourself, and to help you control your temperaments so that you will not destroy your marriage.

Temperament And marriage-Melancholic Husband

As a wife, if you fail to understand the temperament of your husband you will find it difficult to live with him peacefully. Our study today will focus on the Melancholic husband
I. THE STRENGTH OF A MELANCHOLIC HUSBAND

Good housekeeper. She doesn’t wait until she gets a visitor before she cleans her home
1. She is well organized. Her organizational skill extends beyond her home. It extends to her office, business or church. She carries a daily planner and keeps records of things.
2. Detail oriented. She usually reads instruction manuals before doing anything. That is why she hardly makes mistake in her application.
3. She likes to do things the right way and places great emphasis on what worked in the past
  1. Frugal. She is always a wise spender. It doesn’t matter how much money she has, she wants to spend it wisely
  2. Careful Decision-maker. She is very cautious when making decisions and may be considered slow by others
  3. She is very intelligent, loyal and dedicated in any assignment given to her because she hates criticisms
  4. H. She does not have many friends. But the few ones she has can count on her for being there for them all the time

II. THE WEAKNESSES OF A MELANCHOLIC HUSBAND
1. Unpopular. The melancholic is very quiet, thoughtful and unsocial. In reality she is timid and shy
2. She is cautious in making friends because she has been hurt by disappointing friendship in the past and wants to guard her heart
3. Rigid. She demands strict adherence to her many rules and principles. For her there is usually one way of doing things right – her ways
4. She is prone to self pity and depression. She can descend into depression and lack of interest in life due to a slight rejection
5. She finds it difficult to accept her husband as he is. She demands major changes to his life and activities. She finds it difficult to allow God change him in His time.
6. Fault finder. She finds fault almost in everything her husband or people do because of her perfectionism
7. She doesn’t take action easily because of her logical personality. This character makes her keep procrastinating. Her fears is that she might not do the job very well

As a melancholic wife, you need the spirit of God to help you in the area of depression, perfectionism, fault finding etc. If these areas are taken care of, you will be an ideal wife and a great instrument in the hand of God

Temperament And marriage- Melancholic Wife

As a husband, if you want to enjoy your wife, please study the temperament of your wife.You have been asking what and how should could be done.Keep on reading
I. THE STRENGTH OF A MELANCHOLIC WIFE

Good housekeeper. She doesn’t wait until she gets a visitor before she cleans her home
1. She is well organized. Her organizational skill extends beyond her home. It extends to her office, business or church. She carries a daily planner and keeps records of things.
2. Detail oriented. She usually reads instruction manuals before doing anything. That is why she hardly makes mistake in her application.
3. She likes to do things the right way and places great emphasis on what worked in the past
  1. Frugal. She is always a wise spender. It doesn’t matter how much money she has, she wants to spend it wisely
  2. Careful Decision-maker. She is very cautious when making decisions and may be considered slow by others
  3. She is very intelligent, loyal and dedicated in any assignment given to her because she hates criticisms
  4. H. She does not have many friends. But the few ones she has can count on her for being there for them all the time

II. THE WEAKNESSES OF A MELANCHOLIC WIFE
1. Unpopular. The melancholic is very quiet, thoughtful and unsocial. In reality she is timid and shy
2. She is cautious in making friends because she has been hurt by disappointing friendship in the past and wants to guard her heart
3. Rigid. She demands strict adherence to her many rules and principles. For her there is usually one way of doing things right – her ways
4. She is prone to self pity and depression. She can descend into depression and lack of interest in life due to a slight rejection
5. She finds it difficult to accept her husband as he is. She demands major changes to his life and activities. She finds it difficult to allow God change him in His time.
6. Fault finder. She finds fault almost in everything her husband or people do because of her perfectionism
7. She doesn’t take action easily because of her logical personality. This character makes her keep procrastinating. Her fears is that she might not do the job very well

Temperament And Marriage-Phlegmatic Wife

I have always said it that for any marriage to survive, there must be a time to study characters of each other. Failure to do this will result in failure in all things.We are are going to critically look at the Phlegmatic Wife.
I. THE STRENGTH OF A PHLEGMATIC WIFE
1. She doesn’t draw attention to herself but draws hurting people to herself. This is because hurting people sense that they have found a safe listening ear. Even total strangers tend to open up to the phlegmatic woman telling her about their problems and being comforted by her.
2. She is very good at visitation; always calling people close to her just to see if everything is okay.
3. Loyal. She is a very loyal friend; once she’s yours, she’s yours. She steadfastly maintains deep, abiding relationships with her childhood friends or husband’s relations.
4. Peacemaker-rarely gets bogged down with inter-personal conflict. She thrives on harmony and will do whatever she can to maintain it.
5. She is quick to adjust to people around her and never insists on having things her way. It is her sincere desire to please others.
6. Faithful- has an exceptional ability to absorb emotional pain and still maintains her commitment to another person. She would stick to her marriage long after most women would have given up.
II. THE WEAKNESSES OF A PHLEGMATIC WIFE
1. Unenthusiastic- she doesn’t get overexcited over achievements and exploits. Her goal is to conserve her limited supply of energy. This lack of enthusiasm can cause significant conflict in her relationship with family and friends who may interpret it as a lack of love, admiration, concern, interest and can usually result in emotional damage to her loved ones.
2. Fearful- she is fearful and plagued by ‘‘what ifs’’. She is often paralyzed by fears and insecurities and this can mar her relationships.
3. Sluggish-she is not the hard working type. She can look at the barest minimum she can do and still get on. Her house can be disorganized but perhaps not to the extent of that of sanguine. Phlegmatic can be addicted to TV and her sluggish lifestyle can lead to excessive weight gain.
4. Compromising-she is a follower by nature and may compromise her standards to suit whoever she spends the most time with. Because of this, she can fall among bad company.
5. She is selfish: she cares only for herself. This causes her husband and people resent her.
6. Stubborn-she does not complain or argue but may quietly and unwaveringly stick to her rights.
7. She is unconcerned about her dressing. She dresses anyhow to high class occasions; this makes her husband finds it hard to take her out.
When you discover that you are a phlegmatic wife, try to allow the Holy Spirit remove all your weaknesses so that your husband will enjoy you as a wife.