Marriage is the coming together of two people who have several
differences. As a result there will be differences in opinion,
expectations, personalities, along with other differences derived from
our upbringing, background and culture.
Needless
to say, because of these differences there are bound to be areas of
disagreement and if proper care is not taken these disagreements can
lead to major conflicts.
The key is to be patient with each other. Be
slow to speak and quick to listen, learn to control and manage your
anger, learn to communicate your concerns in a sensitive and loving way,
seek to understand the likes and dislikes of your spouse so as not to
repeat behaviors that offend them.
Be sure not to overreact
angrily or violently when your spouse does something that upsets or
grieves you as this will worsen the situation. Instead, communicate your
feelings with love and sensitivity so that your spouse will understand
that they offended without feeling like they are being attacked.
Patience is a hard trait to develop but if you can master it, you will
have less conflicts in your marriage.
Marital Success Tip Number 2: Give
True
love gives. Giving is an act of appreciation and as the saying goes
"action speaks louder than words." I often tell people when I give them
marital advice that "I love you" sounds better when it comes with a
gift.
Learn to give your spouse your time, your love, your
affection and gifts. Gifts such as roses, jewellery, spa treatments, or
it can even be as simple as your spouses favourite chocolates.
Gifts
show your spouse that you have been thinking of them especially if you
have been away on a long trip, it demonstrates that even though you have
been away you were still thinking of them. Giving is an expression of
love and even though you can give without loving, you cannot love
without giving.
Marital Success Tip Number 3: Friendship
Your
spouse should be your best friend. One of the things that has helped my
wife and I to maintain a close bond is the friendship between us. Aside
from being lovers, we are best friends. We play fight, we tease each
other, we play board games and computer games together, we watch
television together, we go out regularly to dinner or to watch a movie,
we talk to each other about our dreams and vision, we share our joy as
well as our pain, and we stand by and are committed to each other.
So
many couples have lost the friendship aspect of their relationship and
as a result they have become strangers under the same roof, the fun has
gone out of the relationship, there
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2967703
Thursday, January 24, 2013
The Keys to a Successful Marriage and Why You Need to Acquire Repairing Marriage Skills
Being married can be a wonderful experience but many young people
rush into marriage without giving it much thought. Perhaps they fell in
love quickly and made the decision to marry on the spur of the moment.
The keys to a successful marriage depend on a number of different factors in order to have a long lived relationship. You need to acquire the necessary repairing marriage skills in order to bring about positive change.
Many marriages today end in divorce. The divorce rate in today's society is very high compared to what it was a generation or two ago. It used to be that when you got married it was for life, but that has changed significantly over time. Now marriages are common and done quickly by couples who do not really take it that seriously.
Television talk shows dedicate entire episodes to marriage problems. It is common to turn on one of these popular shows nowadays see the theme the show is, "The keys to a successful marriage" or "How to acquire repairing marriage skills".
Couples take part in these television shows in a desperate attempt to get help from experts. This is a common occurrence in our society. We seek the quick solution to a problem that almost never exists.
Being married takes work. It requires that both parties involved work actively on the marriage day in and day out. Many marriages suffer due to the fact that the couple cannot communicate with each other or they do not have respect for one another.
If you do not respect your spouse, you will not get respect back. Being able to be honest with your spouse is also very important and if two people are not honest with one another, chances are good that their marriage is suffering because of it.
So the keys to a successful marriage largely depends on honesty and respect for each other. They are the most important repairing marriage skills you can have.
The keys to a successful marriage depend on a number of different factors in order to have a long lived relationship. You need to acquire the necessary repairing marriage skills in order to bring about positive change.
Many marriages today end in divorce. The divorce rate in today's society is very high compared to what it was a generation or two ago. It used to be that when you got married it was for life, but that has changed significantly over time. Now marriages are common and done quickly by couples who do not really take it that seriously.
Television talk shows dedicate entire episodes to marriage problems. It is common to turn on one of these popular shows nowadays see the theme the show is, "The keys to a successful marriage" or "How to acquire repairing marriage skills".
Couples take part in these television shows in a desperate attempt to get help from experts. This is a common occurrence in our society. We seek the quick solution to a problem that almost never exists.
Being married takes work. It requires that both parties involved work actively on the marriage day in and day out. Many marriages suffer due to the fact that the couple cannot communicate with each other or they do not have respect for one another.
If you do not respect your spouse, you will not get respect back. Being able to be honest with your spouse is also very important and if two people are not honest with one another, chances are good that their marriage is suffering because of it.
So the keys to a successful marriage largely depends on honesty and respect for each other. They are the most important repairing marriage skills you can have.
Keys To A Marriage That Does Not End In Divorce
There are at least four keys to a marriage that does not end in
divorce.
- The first is communication in prayer with God and with one another. An engaged couple needs to talk about their goals and ambitions in life. Discuss how these goals can best be achieved. Talk about children. In today's society it is hard to find a common time to pray together but that does not keep the couple from praying for one another.
- The second key to a successful marriage is commitment. Couples should make a conscious decision that marriage is like a sacred and permanent lock that keeps them together. Divorce should not be the solution to any problems that occur. Couples should write their own marriage vows so that they will realize the commitment that they are making.
- The third key to a marriage that lasts is love. Couples should realize that each individual expresses his/her love in many different ways. Couples who want a successful marriage should treat each other with enough respect to accept how he/she displays emotions. Say, "I Love you", and mean it. Gently touch her hand; call him at work and leave a message, "I'm thinking of you". Tuck a photo of yourself in a suitcase or leave a note of love on the pillow.
- The fourth key of a successful marriage is the Bible. Let God be the center of the marital relationship like in the marriage of Isaac and Rebekah. Even though marriages in the Bible are different for those in the United States, there are guidelines that engaged couples can follow. Record personal history in a family Bible and pass it on to the next generation so it will be a record of your genealogy.
Instruments of a Successful Marriage
From earliest times of the ritual of marriage, couples were sent away
with music of various instruments. Music is a major part of people's
lives and often music is a big part of people's careers. If we compare
musical instruments to the characteristics of a successful marriage, we
find the keys to a lasting relationship. Instruments that can represent
the keys to success are cymbals, violin, harp, piano, and trumpet. A
couple whose goal is success will work together to make beautiful music
that will last up to and beyond the passing of a spouse.
Musical cymbals represent the harmony that is needed throughout marriage. You will find there are many factors that will affect the harmony of your marital roles. Changeable conditions like health, family unit members, environment, socioeconomic level, or personal aspirations can be like clanging cymbals. In an orchestra, conductors must blend cymbals to harmonize with the other instruments. A couple must work together to synchronize their roles as wife and husband. As you strive together with love, you will find harmony. Without harmony, you will be like two cymbals clanging.
The violin represents commitment. When you take your marriage vows, take them with the idea that your marriage will last into eternity. In making a commitment to marriage, the two individuals must blend together for success. A violinist depends upon a bow and a violin to make beautiful music. The bow and the violin are completely different. The bow has a function that is separate from the violin. Yet, the two parts perform together to produce a melodious sound. It is the same in marriage. You have different backgrounds, ideas and talents. However, it will take both of you to make the beautiful music of a successful marriage.
A harp symbolizes love. Love in marriage is like playing pleasing music on a harp with strings. A maestro is motivated by the love of the sound to practice many long hours to perfect his skill. In marriage love motivates the good manners of kindness and patience within marriage. Take notice of the little things that you love about one another. Recall these loving actions when things do not go the way you would prefer and when you seem to be clashing cymbals. Be willing to make sacrifices to keep your love strong. Loving gestures will reflect in the music of your marriage.
During a musical performance, an audience often judges a musician's love of playing the harp by the expression on his or her face. Without ever saying a word, the maestro reveals his or her pleasure with the musical sound. In the similar way, couples that love each other will show their happiness and fulfillment in their actions and their faces, as well as their words.
Disparaging remarks about your partner in front of other people is like a harp out of tune. When a spouse grows weary showing love to the other, often marriage will be discarded in divorce. Marriage partners are like a musician that plays melodious harp music; they reflect love and pleasure for one another.
Communication in marriage is often like playing a piano or organ with many different sounding notes. If a musician plays a wrong note or key on a piano, the listener is not pleased. In marriage if partners do not have open and frank communication with each other and God, the marriage will go off key and will suffer. Avoid worrying over the little things in marriage.
Talk about problems. Discuss children, financial concerns, career changes and spiritual matters. Consider each other's opinion. Reflect upon the value of having someone to share your most important events in life. Open communication and careful planning often eliminates worry and anxiety and avoids the distasteful sound of wrong notes.
The trumpet of marriage unity makes a successful sound for a couple. Often a trumpet is played to show respect or reverence of someone's life. It has been said that a person often toots his/her own horn. In marriage, two must unify and merge into one family unit.
You should seek to toot the horn of success together. When you are united through the bond of matrimony, seek the will of God in all your decisions. Call upon Him in Jesus' name to provide you with wisdom and guidance.
Unify with politeness, forgiveness and kindness to one another. Show respect for your marriage partner. Proclaim the victory of your success by being respectful and honorable to one another. Be like a musician with a trumpet that sounds loudly and clearly.
Musical cymbals represent the harmony that is needed throughout marriage. You will find there are many factors that will affect the harmony of your marital roles. Changeable conditions like health, family unit members, environment, socioeconomic level, or personal aspirations can be like clanging cymbals. In an orchestra, conductors must blend cymbals to harmonize with the other instruments. A couple must work together to synchronize their roles as wife and husband. As you strive together with love, you will find harmony. Without harmony, you will be like two cymbals clanging.
The violin represents commitment. When you take your marriage vows, take them with the idea that your marriage will last into eternity. In making a commitment to marriage, the two individuals must blend together for success. A violinist depends upon a bow and a violin to make beautiful music. The bow and the violin are completely different. The bow has a function that is separate from the violin. Yet, the two parts perform together to produce a melodious sound. It is the same in marriage. You have different backgrounds, ideas and talents. However, it will take both of you to make the beautiful music of a successful marriage.
A harp symbolizes love. Love in marriage is like playing pleasing music on a harp with strings. A maestro is motivated by the love of the sound to practice many long hours to perfect his skill. In marriage love motivates the good manners of kindness and patience within marriage. Take notice of the little things that you love about one another. Recall these loving actions when things do not go the way you would prefer and when you seem to be clashing cymbals. Be willing to make sacrifices to keep your love strong. Loving gestures will reflect in the music of your marriage.
During a musical performance, an audience often judges a musician's love of playing the harp by the expression on his or her face. Without ever saying a word, the maestro reveals his or her pleasure with the musical sound. In the similar way, couples that love each other will show their happiness and fulfillment in their actions and their faces, as well as their words.
Disparaging remarks about your partner in front of other people is like a harp out of tune. When a spouse grows weary showing love to the other, often marriage will be discarded in divorce. Marriage partners are like a musician that plays melodious harp music; they reflect love and pleasure for one another.
Communication in marriage is often like playing a piano or organ with many different sounding notes. If a musician plays a wrong note or key on a piano, the listener is not pleased. In marriage if partners do not have open and frank communication with each other and God, the marriage will go off key and will suffer. Avoid worrying over the little things in marriage.
Talk about problems. Discuss children, financial concerns, career changes and spiritual matters. Consider each other's opinion. Reflect upon the value of having someone to share your most important events in life. Open communication and careful planning often eliminates worry and anxiety and avoids the distasteful sound of wrong notes.
The trumpet of marriage unity makes a successful sound for a couple. Often a trumpet is played to show respect or reverence of someone's life. It has been said that a person often toots his/her own horn. In marriage, two must unify and merge into one family unit.
You should seek to toot the horn of success together. When you are united through the bond of matrimony, seek the will of God in all your decisions. Call upon Him in Jesus' name to provide you with wisdom and guidance.
Unify with politeness, forgiveness and kindness to one another. Show respect for your marriage partner. Proclaim the victory of your success by being respectful and honorable to one another. Be like a musician with a trumpet that sounds loudly and clearly.
Keys to A Successful Marriage - When Your Marriage Is Failing: Communicating With Your Spouse
How to make a marriage work is never a simple thing. There are many
keys to a successful marriage, and a lot of things to do when your
marriage is failing. However, if you are able to get good marriage
advice and grasp the basics, it can be very easy to fix a broken
marriage.
What you need to do is just to find the right marriage advice, which can be the hardest work amongst all. I am a person who was in your situation - I wanted to learn what to do when my marriage is failing. I wanted to learn how to have a successful marriage. The advice and counseling I found on the internet was all but worthless - but once I came upon the right advice, I immediately made lots of progress and saved my marriage. Without further ado, I want to share them with you.
Keys to a Successful Marriage
It is common knowledge that what makes a successful marriage is communication. Regardless of whether your marriage is failing or not, communication is ALWAYS a must in order to make a marriage work. Why? Because when there is healthy communication, there is no need (or room) for speculation.
What kills marriages is usually speculation: "my husband doesn't love me anymore" or a mere "I wonder if he loves me as much as I love him?". These are doubts and questions enough to cause a lot of trouble in your marriage. Both you and your spouse are always open with your feelings - this is how to have a successful marriage. And even if it is failing, you can always fix a broken marriage by communicating rightly. After all, communication is the key to a successful marriage. But, how can you put this theory into practice?
How to Communicate With Your Spouse
Successful marriage tips always indicate towards being open with your spouse. However, this doesn't mean that you have to tell whatever you are thinking to your spouse. If your marriage is failing, the worst thing you can do is to sit down with your spouse and argue everything to the point with him. Unfortunately, this is what people understand as the answer to the question of "how to communicate with your spouse". It is not healthy communication if it will obviously lead to a fight.
The key to a successful marriage is understanding. If your spouse doesn't talk to you, or there is a lot of tension, what you need to do is to not fight back, but to understand them and give them the space they need. A little personal space and personal time you give to your spouse can make an enormous difference in fixing your broken marriage.
If your marriage is failing, it is inevitable that it's not just you who feels the stress - your spouse does, too. So, when you are giving them space, you are doing the best and most healthy communication: You are giving the message "I understand you. I respect your need for space. I give it to you." What an incredibly beneficial marriage advice to give to someone whose marriage is failing!
What you need to do is just to find the right marriage advice, which can be the hardest work amongst all. I am a person who was in your situation - I wanted to learn what to do when my marriage is failing. I wanted to learn how to have a successful marriage. The advice and counseling I found on the internet was all but worthless - but once I came upon the right advice, I immediately made lots of progress and saved my marriage. Without further ado, I want to share them with you.
Keys to a Successful Marriage
It is common knowledge that what makes a successful marriage is communication. Regardless of whether your marriage is failing or not, communication is ALWAYS a must in order to make a marriage work. Why? Because when there is healthy communication, there is no need (or room) for speculation.
What kills marriages is usually speculation: "my husband doesn't love me anymore" or a mere "I wonder if he loves me as much as I love him?". These are doubts and questions enough to cause a lot of trouble in your marriage. Both you and your spouse are always open with your feelings - this is how to have a successful marriage. And even if it is failing, you can always fix a broken marriage by communicating rightly. After all, communication is the key to a successful marriage. But, how can you put this theory into practice?
How to Communicate With Your Spouse
Successful marriage tips always indicate towards being open with your spouse. However, this doesn't mean that you have to tell whatever you are thinking to your spouse. If your marriage is failing, the worst thing you can do is to sit down with your spouse and argue everything to the point with him. Unfortunately, this is what people understand as the answer to the question of "how to communicate with your spouse". It is not healthy communication if it will obviously lead to a fight.
The key to a successful marriage is understanding. If your spouse doesn't talk to you, or there is a lot of tension, what you need to do is to not fight back, but to understand them and give them the space they need. A little personal space and personal time you give to your spouse can make an enormous difference in fixing your broken marriage.
If your marriage is failing, it is inevitable that it's not just you who feels the stress - your spouse does, too. So, when you are giving them space, you are doing the best and most healthy communication: You are giving the message "I understand you. I respect your need for space. I give it to you." What an incredibly beneficial marriage advice to give to someone whose marriage is failing!
Want to Know Keys Successful Marriages Have? Three Spectacular Tips
Getting married is one of the most important events of your life
but what follows this holy matrimony is much important than the event
itself. That is the reason why you want to make sure that this lifelong
journey has a smooth road ahead.
But in most cases it is the exact opposite, thereby leading to problems in married life. Research over a period of five decades clearly shows this fact. So what are the reasons that make your married life go astray and into the realm of disappointment, discouragement, disillusionment and divorce?
Why is it that the love you had for each other before the marriage can disappear in a flash and lead emotional stress, depression, and ever more frequent quarrels?
The answer may very well be the lack of solid premarital counseling. Re-marriage counseling can really help you get prepared for what's coming your way and how to deal with it in an effective way.
Online premarital counseling can be supplemented by a skilled counselor who can help couples identify potential reasons of conflict that could pop up in the future.
Clear communication and "reasonable expectations" are very valuable tools in warding off serious divisions in the future. Relationship assessment is another important resource used by many to prepare for their future. The Couple Check-Up will show areas of strength and growth that can help couples gain a better understanding of each other.
Some of the tools include questions on interests & activities, personal communication, religion, marriage expectations, family issues, finances, sexuality and many other key topics that determine one's mental makeup. Based on the results couples and their counselor will receive a very comprehensive picture of exactly what is needed to build and maintain a healthy relationship.
Online premarital counseling is therefore a very convenient and effective tool to help couples avoid future problems.
Although premarital counseling is not cure-all for marriages it can greatly reduce the incidence of divorce and help the couple maintain a strong bond throughout their marriage. Most studies show a 30% reduction in divorce with those that have at least six sessions of pre-marriage counseling. Premarital counseling will help in unearthing false or unrealistic expectations and give couples a better view of what marriage is really like.
They will realize that there will be good and bad times, but they can make if they work together.
In most cases, premarital counseling is taken with the assistance of a skilled counselor, as they can help a couple dig a little deeper.
But if they chose to use the material themselves, or a counselor is not available, much can be accomplished on their own. The most important thing is to get premarital counseling on top your list for things to do and be preemptive on avoiding things that could potentially destroy your relationship in the future. Look for a professional online premarital counseling session with experts in the field and start today to develop a positive, strong and healthy outlook toward the relationship.
But in most cases it is the exact opposite, thereby leading to problems in married life. Research over a period of five decades clearly shows this fact. So what are the reasons that make your married life go astray and into the realm of disappointment, discouragement, disillusionment and divorce?
Why is it that the love you had for each other before the marriage can disappear in a flash and lead emotional stress, depression, and ever more frequent quarrels?
The answer may very well be the lack of solid premarital counseling. Re-marriage counseling can really help you get prepared for what's coming your way and how to deal with it in an effective way.
Online premarital counseling can be supplemented by a skilled counselor who can help couples identify potential reasons of conflict that could pop up in the future.
Clear communication and "reasonable expectations" are very valuable tools in warding off serious divisions in the future. Relationship assessment is another important resource used by many to prepare for their future. The Couple Check-Up will show areas of strength and growth that can help couples gain a better understanding of each other.
Some of the tools include questions on interests & activities, personal communication, religion, marriage expectations, family issues, finances, sexuality and many other key topics that determine one's mental makeup. Based on the results couples and their counselor will receive a very comprehensive picture of exactly what is needed to build and maintain a healthy relationship.
Online premarital counseling is therefore a very convenient and effective tool to help couples avoid future problems.
Although premarital counseling is not cure-all for marriages it can greatly reduce the incidence of divorce and help the couple maintain a strong bond throughout their marriage. Most studies show a 30% reduction in divorce with those that have at least six sessions of pre-marriage counseling. Premarital counseling will help in unearthing false or unrealistic expectations and give couples a better view of what marriage is really like.
They will realize that there will be good and bad times, but they can make if they work together.
In most cases, premarital counseling is taken with the assistance of a skilled counselor, as they can help a couple dig a little deeper.
But if they chose to use the material themselves, or a counselor is not available, much can be accomplished on their own. The most important thing is to get premarital counseling on top your list for things to do and be preemptive on avoiding things that could potentially destroy your relationship in the future. Look for a professional online premarital counseling session with experts in the field and start today to develop a positive, strong and healthy outlook toward the relationship.
For over 25 years Grace Products has been the world leader in production and distribution of marriage curriculum. 250,000 couples have trusted their marriage counseling to us and we have not disappointed them. The Emmy award winning producer, Greg Vaughn has been at the forefront in helping to build strong and lasting marriages all across the country.
Keys to Successful Marriage - Value Your Present and Don't Dwell in the Past
Most married couples that dwell in their past tend to overlook the beauty of their present.
As they say, you should value your present and not dwell in the past because the "present" is a gift. It's important that you don't let your past or your partner's past affect your relationship.
Keep in mind that it already happened and there is no use crying over spilled milk. Whatever you may have done before meeting your spouse is better off isolated in your memories.
You must not let it affect your good relationship now. Additionally, whatever your partner may have done when you were still singles and when you were not together is something that you shouldn't meddle with. Although the thought of saying goodbye to your bachelor/bachelorette life may seem painful, this is something you must do. You should realize that your life revolves around your marriage now. Thus, you should be prepared for some lifestyle changes.
If your single life used to be full of parties now you have to get used to the life that has less happening and more responsibilities. When the past is the subject matter, do not mention old flames. Even married couples sometimes still argue about the issue of old relationships. One would get jealous with his/her ex boyfriend or girlfriend or vice versa. Obviously this can be a very good source for starting a conflict between husband and wife.
Dwelling on the past can be a dangerous thing to do. Not only would it cause your spouse to get jealous, but it can also cause him/her a lot of anger. More often than not, such anger develops into something much deeper and in due time suppressed feelings can just burst out unexpectedly.
In fact, not only your spouse can get angry. It is actually possible that you'd be angry with yourself too. Since you feel disappointed with your past, you'll have a tendency to blame yourself for it. Maybe you have not yet forgiven yourself for doing something wrong in the past, and if so, you'd continue to live in anger and stress. You wouldn't want that to happen. It's like stealing your privilege of enjoying your present life. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/1849790
As they say, you should value your present and not dwell in the past because the "present" is a gift. It's important that you don't let your past or your partner's past affect your relationship.
Keep in mind that it already happened and there is no use crying over spilled milk. Whatever you may have done before meeting your spouse is better off isolated in your memories.
You must not let it affect your good relationship now. Additionally, whatever your partner may have done when you were still singles and when you were not together is something that you shouldn't meddle with. Although the thought of saying goodbye to your bachelor/bachelorette life may seem painful, this is something you must do. You should realize that your life revolves around your marriage now. Thus, you should be prepared for some lifestyle changes.
If your single life used to be full of parties now you have to get used to the life that has less happening and more responsibilities. When the past is the subject matter, do not mention old flames. Even married couples sometimes still argue about the issue of old relationships. One would get jealous with his/her ex boyfriend or girlfriend or vice versa. Obviously this can be a very good source for starting a conflict between husband and wife.
Dwelling on the past can be a dangerous thing to do. Not only would it cause your spouse to get jealous, but it can also cause him/her a lot of anger. More often than not, such anger develops into something much deeper and in due time suppressed feelings can just burst out unexpectedly.
In fact, not only your spouse can get angry. It is actually possible that you'd be angry with yourself too. Since you feel disappointed with your past, you'll have a tendency to blame yourself for it. Maybe you have not yet forgiven yourself for doing something wrong in the past, and if so, you'd continue to live in anger and stress. You wouldn't want that to happen. It's like stealing your privilege of enjoying your present life. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/1849790
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