Long distance relationships used to be pretty much reserved for young single couples who met at college or on a first job and then were separated to start building their careers. However, in today's economy there are more and more married couples with children living apart than ever before. The necessity of finding and accepting a job wherever it may be, has made long distance relationships almost common place.
As anyone who has ever been in a long distance relationship can tell you, these relationships have their own set of unique problems. The very lack of physical intimacy makes it difficult for a couple to save a marriage from drifting apart and to stay visible as a couple.
Finding the time and finances to be together is another problem that must be overcome and this problem becomes more difficult when a couple has children. There is also an extra burden placed on the caregiver of the children who, though married, may for all intents and purposes be a single parent most of the time.
These things can add stress and strain to a relationship and make it difficult to recall why the couple were together in the first place. Though it won't be easy to save a marriage from this enormous strain, there are ways to overcome and deal with the problems in your long distance relationship.
Accept the Limitations
The first thing couples have to do is to accept the limitations in their relationship. Knowing you won't be together for birthdays, anniversaries and baby's first step is different to accepting the fact you won't be together at all. Discuss ways to keep these special times most people share together, special for the two of you even though you are apart. Flowers, phone calls and even spending time with each other over the webcam can save a marriage and maintain a healthy relationship. As silly as it may sound, dressing up and sharing a take out Chinese dinner over the webcam, will help you feel more connected for those special occasions.
Have a save a marriage plan to be together eventually even though these plans may have to be changed. Setting some kind of time frame for the two of you or the family to be permanently together under the same roof, helps to keep your commitment strong and gives you something to work towards as a couple.
By making an effort to share your daily activities together in the form of emails, private messaging, text messaging and phone calls to keep each other abreast of your daily lives will go a long way towards the goal to save a marriage. Sharing daily events will make you feel more like a "couple" and help to keep the trust and communication alive.
Include your children in daily phone conversations to encourage the bond between your child and the missing parent. Also, make sure you have time to talk to your partner alone. You may not have the physical intimacy of hugs, kisses or simply holding hands, but the two of you can create a loving intimacy between you by phone and email.
Managing a long distance relationship is not easy, but with a little effort from all concerned, it can not only be accomplished but the two of you just may grow closer because of the obstacles you have overcome to save a marriage that you are committed to.
For more information to help you save a relationship from the heartache caused by separation and divorce go to http://www.savingamarriagesite.com/savearelationship.html
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sharyn_Lea
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Sex and Marriage - What Research Shows About Sex and Marriage Satisfaction & How Important it Can Be
Sex and marriage is a lot like shoes and socks. You must be thinking I am crazy, but what I am getting at is, you can wear shoes without socks but it is not really all that comfortable. It does not seem right, at least, not in my opinion. The same would be true of a marriage without sex, it just does not seem right. Of course, there may come a time when the emphasis on sex and marriage diminishes. Like, when we get older we will be a lot less driven sexually but there is not any set time limit. It has been reported that sex on a regular basis, (no matter your age), is an excellent method for maintaining good, well-rounded, overall health.
We are all sexual beings whether we choose to acknowledge it or not. This is an important fact to consider when we are analyzing and taking inventory of our marital relationship. It can also help us in observing our status of overall health and well being. This is a factor that is overlooked and underestimated all too often for my taste. Sex is an intrinsic element marriage and plays a vital role in all of our loving, romantic relationships.
Scientific research shows that marital satisfaction is directly correlated to sexual satisfaction. This might come off as painstakingly obvious but is not really all that simple. What is meant by the result of this research, is that of all the married couples that were happy were sexually satisfied as well. While not all sexually satisfied married couples were happy the reverse is true. All married couples who were happy were also sexually satisfied.
A decline is sexual enjoyment is an indicator of many things singular in nature, but also when we apply this to couples it can act as a beacon of signals. This is one way of finding out that there is a problem before being told. Sometimes, this can be crucial in preventing serious trouble in your marriage relationship. Even when your as close to someone as a married person can be it is not always easy to express your concerns or verbally tell your partner that something is wrong. Another factor is that they may not even be aware of it themselves. This is one reason why sex is often overlooked as an outlet for understanding and identifying health concerns.
Sex may not be able to pin-point any specific problems that may be occurring, however it can help us in identifying that there is a problem early on. Sex and Marriage are a constant concern in most couples. The fact that your married does not necessarily mean you are having an active sex life. Even though it should. Sex can have an interesting affect on your overall health. It does wonders for your emotional and psychological well being as well as rejuvenates your body in similar ways that sleep does.
Sex can be an increasingly powerful method of healing ones self as well as couples, in regards to their relationship. Sex and marriage are complimentary like in the shoes and socks analogy, that I am now apologizing for. They belong together and if you find that you are not having sex or the sex is beginning to diminish; try to revitalize your sex in anyway that you can. Also, be on the look out for concerns outside of the bedroom. As was said about satisfaction and marital happiness, sex can be a wonderful way of reconnecting and/or healing any damage that may have been caused to your relationship as a married couple.
Find out how simple steps can help you to find Happiness in Marriage no matter how bad it might seem. Even if you are the only one trying, it can be turned around. With the right attitude and the right information nothing is impossible.
Better sex is definitely one way to a better marriage. Learn from an expert sex & relationship therapist that was featured on many popular radio & talk shows and rapidly gaining in popularity. Learn the best kept Secret Sex Tips that will heat up your love life and keep Sex and Marriage alive!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Addison_Prescot
We are all sexual beings whether we choose to acknowledge it or not. This is an important fact to consider when we are analyzing and taking inventory of our marital relationship. It can also help us in observing our status of overall health and well being. This is a factor that is overlooked and underestimated all too often for my taste. Sex is an intrinsic element marriage and plays a vital role in all of our loving, romantic relationships.
Scientific research shows that marital satisfaction is directly correlated to sexual satisfaction. This might come off as painstakingly obvious but is not really all that simple. What is meant by the result of this research, is that of all the married couples that were happy were sexually satisfied as well. While not all sexually satisfied married couples were happy the reverse is true. All married couples who were happy were also sexually satisfied.
A decline is sexual enjoyment is an indicator of many things singular in nature, but also when we apply this to couples it can act as a beacon of signals. This is one way of finding out that there is a problem before being told. Sometimes, this can be crucial in preventing serious trouble in your marriage relationship. Even when your as close to someone as a married person can be it is not always easy to express your concerns or verbally tell your partner that something is wrong. Another factor is that they may not even be aware of it themselves. This is one reason why sex is often overlooked as an outlet for understanding and identifying health concerns.
Sex may not be able to pin-point any specific problems that may be occurring, however it can help us in identifying that there is a problem early on. Sex and Marriage are a constant concern in most couples. The fact that your married does not necessarily mean you are having an active sex life. Even though it should. Sex can have an interesting affect on your overall health. It does wonders for your emotional and psychological well being as well as rejuvenates your body in similar ways that sleep does.
Sex can be an increasingly powerful method of healing ones self as well as couples, in regards to their relationship. Sex and marriage are complimentary like in the shoes and socks analogy, that I am now apologizing for. They belong together and if you find that you are not having sex or the sex is beginning to diminish; try to revitalize your sex in anyway that you can. Also, be on the look out for concerns outside of the bedroom. As was said about satisfaction and marital happiness, sex can be a wonderful way of reconnecting and/or healing any damage that may have been caused to your relationship as a married couple.
Find out how simple steps can help you to find Happiness in Marriage no matter how bad it might seem. Even if you are the only one trying, it can be turned around. With the right attitude and the right information nothing is impossible.
Better sex is definitely one way to a better marriage. Learn from an expert sex & relationship therapist that was featured on many popular radio & talk shows and rapidly gaining in popularity. Learn the best kept Secret Sex Tips that will heat up your love life and keep Sex and Marriage alive!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Addison_Prescot
Why Marriages Fail -- Lack of Commitment May Be to Blame
With almost half of all marriages ending in divorce, it causes a person to wonder why marriages fail. There are several causes but one reason is from lack of commitment in one or both spouses. With it being so easy to get a divorce, many couples feel that it is easier to just end the relationship instead of trying to save the marriage.
Let's face it. Marriage does take an effort to continue growing the relationship. It is like a beautiful plant you fell in love with at a nursery. When you decided you wanted the plant, you made a commitment to bring the plant home, love and nurture it to help it grow to it's full potential. But what happens when you start to slide in the care of the plant and do not bother to water it or provide the necessary environment it needs? The plant fails to thrive and eventually will wither and die.
Marriage is like that plant in that you need to nurture the relationship with your spouse. Your other half needs your love and attention in order for the both of you to flourish. When that has been removed, the situation worsens and the marriage withers and dies.
The vows you made to each other on your wedding day were a commitment to each other . On that special day, it is probable that neither one of you thought you would break your vows. But when problems arise, it can sometimes seem easier to just not even try anymore. However, if you want to save your marriage, you need to remember your vows and stay committed to each other and your relationship.
Remember your vows "for better or worse," and work through your issues together. Stay committed to each other and find out what needs to be done to save your marriage. If your marriage is suffering from problems, also keep in mind there is help available and you can salvage your relationship.
Don't let your marriage slip from your grasp... Learn how to resolve your damaging conflicts and rebuild the lost love to save your marriage today. You can get started saving your marriage in the next 10 minutes. Go to http://www.marriagenotdivorce.com now to help save your marriage and stop divorce.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=A._C._West
Let's face it. Marriage does take an effort to continue growing the relationship. It is like a beautiful plant you fell in love with at a nursery. When you decided you wanted the plant, you made a commitment to bring the plant home, love and nurture it to help it grow to it's full potential. But what happens when you start to slide in the care of the plant and do not bother to water it or provide the necessary environment it needs? The plant fails to thrive and eventually will wither and die.
Marriage is like that plant in that you need to nurture the relationship with your spouse. Your other half needs your love and attention in order for the both of you to flourish. When that has been removed, the situation worsens and the marriage withers and dies.
The vows you made to each other on your wedding day were a commitment to each other . On that special day, it is probable that neither one of you thought you would break your vows. But when problems arise, it can sometimes seem easier to just not even try anymore. However, if you want to save your marriage, you need to remember your vows and stay committed to each other and your relationship.
Remember your vows "for better or worse," and work through your issues together. Stay committed to each other and find out what needs to be done to save your marriage. If your marriage is suffering from problems, also keep in mind there is help available and you can salvage your relationship.
Don't let your marriage slip from your grasp... Learn how to resolve your damaging conflicts and rebuild the lost love to save your marriage today. You can get started saving your marriage in the next 10 minutes. Go to http://www.marriagenotdivorce.com now to help save your marriage and stop divorce.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=A._C._West
Friday, October 16, 2009
Should I Discuss Finances Before Marriage?
So you plan on getting married soon, and there’s just something that you’ve had on your mind, but you just don’t know what you should do or how you should say it. That would be the questions you have concerning your future spouse’s finances. You really need to know something about the finances before you say I do! You really don’t know how your future spouse has paid their bills and you just need to know now before it becomes a problem later on.
Well, as the old saying goes you can't live on love, you need money to survive! Finance questions before marriage will help you and your future partner understand where you both are financially before marriage.
If your future spouse is not able to contribute financially, you will know this before you say your vows. That is why finance questions before marriage is so important!
How do I find out about my future spouse's finances? You can find out by asking your future spouse, some or all of the following questions:
How much money do you earn? Can I see a copy of your credit report and score? Do you pay your bills on time? What is the balance on your outstanding bills? Have you ever filed for bankruptcy and do you have any judgements against you?
Do you pay child support? Do you have a savings account,insurance,investments and a retirement plan? Once we get married, will we both be able to spend freely? If we purchase a home will we own the home jointly?
Discussing your finances before marriage is important for future spouses who are planning to get married. It is a difficult subject for couples to discuss, however, it is crucial in maintaining a good relationship.
It may be beneficial to you and your future spouse to discuss your finances before saying your vows. It's a good idea that you both are on the same page about how your finances are before the marriage and what your future goals will be for your finances. This may assist you both in getting past one of your most important hurdles for a marriage!
Discussing your finances prior to marriage, should assist you and your future spouse on keeping your marriage on track and in a positive direction for your future goals.
Finance is one of the most critical key components of a marriage. In many instances, marriages have dissolved due to the fact that couples have not discussed their finances prior to the marriage taking place. So make sure you find out about your future spouses finances before you get married, so this may not become a problem for you!
Nocita Carter creates websites with tips on various subjects including personal finance tips for you http://www.personal-finance-tips-for-you.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nocita_Carter
Well, as the old saying goes you can't live on love, you need money to survive! Finance questions before marriage will help you and your future partner understand where you both are financially before marriage.
If your future spouse is not able to contribute financially, you will know this before you say your vows. That is why finance questions before marriage is so important!
How do I find out about my future spouse's finances? You can find out by asking your future spouse, some or all of the following questions:
How much money do you earn? Can I see a copy of your credit report and score? Do you pay your bills on time? What is the balance on your outstanding bills? Have you ever filed for bankruptcy and do you have any judgements against you?
Do you pay child support? Do you have a savings account,insurance,investments and a retirement plan? Once we get married, will we both be able to spend freely? If we purchase a home will we own the home jointly?
Discussing your finances before marriage is important for future spouses who are planning to get married. It is a difficult subject for couples to discuss, however, it is crucial in maintaining a good relationship.
It may be beneficial to you and your future spouse to discuss your finances before saying your vows. It's a good idea that you both are on the same page about how your finances are before the marriage and what your future goals will be for your finances. This may assist you both in getting past one of your most important hurdles for a marriage!
Discussing your finances prior to marriage, should assist you and your future spouse on keeping your marriage on track and in a positive direction for your future goals.
Finance is one of the most critical key components of a marriage. In many instances, marriages have dissolved due to the fact that couples have not discussed their finances prior to the marriage taking place. So make sure you find out about your future spouses finances before you get married, so this may not become a problem for you!
Nocita Carter creates websites with tips on various subjects including personal finance tips for you http://www.personal-finance-tips-for-you.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nocita_Carter
Bringing Debts into a Marriage
Are you a credit card junkie? Credit card debt can often be a big, deep, dark secret for someone preparing for marriage. It’s an uncomfortable subject to talk about. Do you bring it up before or after he slips the engagement ring on your finger (or before you slip it onto hers)? Or do you wait until after all the marriage preparations are in place?
If there are large differences in your assets and liabilities, it may not be such a hot idea to get a joint bank account. Furthermore, you may want to sign a prenuptial agreement just to be clear about what came before your marriage, and what came after.
How you plan your wedding budget will largely determine how you approach money management as a married couple, in the long term. Wedding costs, by themselves can run up quite a tab. If you are noticing conflicts in the early stages of your joint money management, then get some financial marriage advice or premarital counseling.
Couple counseling can be just as much a part of a healthy marriage as family or financial planning is. It’s a way of ensuring solid communication skills from the get go; and that’s important when debts and assets are about to be split right down the middle.
Nathan Dawson writes for http://www.marriedfinances.com and http://www.successfulmarriageresource.com, great online sources for marriage and finance information.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nathan_Dawson
If there are large differences in your assets and liabilities, it may not be such a hot idea to get a joint bank account. Furthermore, you may want to sign a prenuptial agreement just to be clear about what came before your marriage, and what came after.
How you plan your wedding budget will largely determine how you approach money management as a married couple, in the long term. Wedding costs, by themselves can run up quite a tab. If you are noticing conflicts in the early stages of your joint money management, then get some financial marriage advice or premarital counseling.
Couple counseling can be just as much a part of a healthy marriage as family or financial planning is. It’s a way of ensuring solid communication skills from the get go; and that’s important when debts and assets are about to be split right down the middle.
Nathan Dawson writes for http://www.marriedfinances.com and http://www.successfulmarriageresource.com, great online sources for marriage and finance information.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nathan_Dawson
Money and Marriage 101
Q. Is a prenuptial agreement necessary?
A. Legally speaking, marriage splits your combined assets and liabilities right down the middle. Everything gets shared. Therefore, a prenuptial agreement is sometimes very necessary, particularly when a married man or woman has assets or liabilities that will greatly exceed that of his or her spouse. To make a decision that is right for the both of you, consult with a financial planner who is familiar with the marriage laws in your state.
Q. What about opening a joint bank account?
A. Since all your money will in essence be merged together, opening a joint bank account can make paying bills much simpler. This is particularly true of bills for things that you own and share as a married couple, such as a house or insurance. However, it is also a good idea to budget some spending money to put into your own personal accounts.
Q. What is the average wedding cost?
A. Marriage preparation can be really hectic and stressful, depending on how fancy you want to get. Add the stress of trying to stick to a wedding budget, and you could be in for a rocky beginning. The average wedding cost is more than $15,000. This may be comfortable for you, or maybe not. Set a realistic budget taking into account your debts and your income.
Q. My spouse is a spender and I’m a saver. Will we ever agree?
A. A good marriage is about finding balance; but most of all, it is about survival. That means being less selfish, being willing to negotiate and to compromise. If you find yourself at odds about your spending habits, get premarital counseling. Couple counseling can open the lines of communication. In the long-run, good communication is the key to successful financial and family planning.
Nathan Dawson writes for http://www.marriedfinances.com and http://www.successfulmarriageresource.com, great online sources for marriage and finance information.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nathan_Dawson
A. Legally speaking, marriage splits your combined assets and liabilities right down the middle. Everything gets shared. Therefore, a prenuptial agreement is sometimes very necessary, particularly when a married man or woman has assets or liabilities that will greatly exceed that of his or her spouse. To make a decision that is right for the both of you, consult with a financial planner who is familiar with the marriage laws in your state.
Q. What about opening a joint bank account?
A. Since all your money will in essence be merged together, opening a joint bank account can make paying bills much simpler. This is particularly true of bills for things that you own and share as a married couple, such as a house or insurance. However, it is also a good idea to budget some spending money to put into your own personal accounts.
Q. What is the average wedding cost?
A. Marriage preparation can be really hectic and stressful, depending on how fancy you want to get. Add the stress of trying to stick to a wedding budget, and you could be in for a rocky beginning. The average wedding cost is more than $15,000. This may be comfortable for you, or maybe not. Set a realistic budget taking into account your debts and your income.
Q. My spouse is a spender and I’m a saver. Will we ever agree?
A. A good marriage is about finding balance; but most of all, it is about survival. That means being less selfish, being willing to negotiate and to compromise. If you find yourself at odds about your spending habits, get premarital counseling. Couple counseling can open the lines of communication. In the long-run, good communication is the key to successful financial and family planning.
Nathan Dawson writes for http://www.marriedfinances.com and http://www.successfulmarriageresource.com, great online sources for marriage and finance information.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nathan_Dawson
Want to Be a Perfect Bride?
Marrying? Are your parents looking for a perfect groom? Well, it's time you seriously think about how to present yourself as a perfect bride. Everyone's Expectations might be high and you need to really prepare yourself for the higher responsibilities and expectations that you need to face as a bride and also as a wife of someone.
Weddings are finalized in the heaven we believe, but in reality what makes a marriage happen is social status, the power of money, a good job and dowry etc. And this excludes the love marriages which are finalized by the couple themselves irrespective of these factors. The arranged marriage set up thus revolves around a whole set of predefined ideas and our morals.
A normal middle class family will want their daughter in law to cook, help with the domestic choirs and also work if she is educated. The needs and preferences of one vary but still the bride needs to be more of a homemaker than a company executive. Whatever high post she might hold in her company is of no use when she reaches home. She has to personally fend for her family and look after their welfare. This is how Indian family system works so far.
So a bride should horn her cooking skills to impress her spouse and her family. This creates a lasting impression on their minds. As the famous saying goes, "the way to a man's heart is through his tummy", you can easily make your man hopelessly dependant on you for your mouth sizzling and exotic dishes that you might cook for him.
Bride must also develop her personality apart from cooking and other house works. Not just physical personality, but also her mannerisms and attitude as well. She must be knowledgeable about family traditions and customs and must know how to respect the elders visiting the family. She must learn how to keep her things in order, manage the finance and keep her surroundings neat and clean.
Working women must be ready to manage their times between their work and home. It is an added responsibility no doubt, and one must be matured enough to handle difficult conditions for the sake of making this great Indian institution called marriage. After all it is all about human understanding and sacrifice. When you respect the system and work to keep it functioning then nothing can deter your confidence.
Simran Jain writes on behalf of matrimonyhouse.com, India's fastest growing matrimonial website. http://matrimonyhouse.com enables users to create and search Indian matrimony profile on the website. Registering, Searching, and Contacting prospective groom and bride are absolutely free.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Simran_Jain
Weddings are finalized in the heaven we believe, but in reality what makes a marriage happen is social status, the power of money, a good job and dowry etc. And this excludes the love marriages which are finalized by the couple themselves irrespective of these factors. The arranged marriage set up thus revolves around a whole set of predefined ideas and our morals.
A normal middle class family will want their daughter in law to cook, help with the domestic choirs and also work if she is educated. The needs and preferences of one vary but still the bride needs to be more of a homemaker than a company executive. Whatever high post she might hold in her company is of no use when she reaches home. She has to personally fend for her family and look after their welfare. This is how Indian family system works so far.
So a bride should horn her cooking skills to impress her spouse and her family. This creates a lasting impression on their minds. As the famous saying goes, "the way to a man's heart is through his tummy", you can easily make your man hopelessly dependant on you for your mouth sizzling and exotic dishes that you might cook for him.
Bride must also develop her personality apart from cooking and other house works. Not just physical personality, but also her mannerisms and attitude as well. She must be knowledgeable about family traditions and customs and must know how to respect the elders visiting the family. She must learn how to keep her things in order, manage the finance and keep her surroundings neat and clean.
Working women must be ready to manage their times between their work and home. It is an added responsibility no doubt, and one must be matured enough to handle difficult conditions for the sake of making this great Indian institution called marriage. After all it is all about human understanding and sacrifice. When you respect the system and work to keep it functioning then nothing can deter your confidence.
Simran Jain writes on behalf of matrimonyhouse.com, India's fastest growing matrimonial website. http://matrimonyhouse.com enables users to create and search Indian matrimony profile on the website. Registering, Searching, and Contacting prospective groom and bride are absolutely free.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Simran_Jain
What Guys Think About Marriage
It might come as a complete shock to learn that guys don't think much about marriage when they meet a woman. A man is generally thinking about ways to keep his freedom not lose it. Generally it is because of the way men are wired to think not necessarily because he's being selfish.
Women learn at a very early age to lose their freedom. We learn to say, "Yes" instead of "No" We learn to go with the flow and not rock the boat.
But this is exactly the kind of attitude that cause women to FAIL in their relationships. Women are failing because they find it hard to say "No."
Women often feel guilty and give in. It is very rare to find a woman who does not want to lose her freedom. I actually believe we are at a biological disadvantage when it comes to relationships but I'm not alluding to this by playing the victim.
The reason I believe this, we are wired to be nurturers. Nurturers invest more. They give from pain. It's the way evolution designed it for human survival. So a woman has to constantly fight against the natural tendency to overcompensate because she needs security.
The struggle with men and commitment will be an ongoing one to women who don't understand how to make their nature work to their advantage. The woman who give in because she loves even when a man isn't giving is always going to lose.
Men marry women who insist on marriage and who are willing to move on if a man does not share the same desire. To bring a man to marriage, he must feel that the woman can control her feminine desire to lock him down so that commitment becomes his idea, not hers.
If you cannot control your feminine desire to want security, men see this trait as a disadvantage and instead of becoming an assest, you become a liability.
Get the secrets about men 95% of women don't know. Make your man explode with desire for you, commit and be the kind of woman he HAS to marry. Get the free report on men and commitment, Click Here
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michelle_Washington
Women learn at a very early age to lose their freedom. We learn to say, "Yes" instead of "No" We learn to go with the flow and not rock the boat.
But this is exactly the kind of attitude that cause women to FAIL in their relationships. Women are failing because they find it hard to say "No."
Women often feel guilty and give in. It is very rare to find a woman who does not want to lose her freedom. I actually believe we are at a biological disadvantage when it comes to relationships but I'm not alluding to this by playing the victim.
The reason I believe this, we are wired to be nurturers. Nurturers invest more. They give from pain. It's the way evolution designed it for human survival. So a woman has to constantly fight against the natural tendency to overcompensate because she needs security.
The struggle with men and commitment will be an ongoing one to women who don't understand how to make their nature work to their advantage. The woman who give in because she loves even when a man isn't giving is always going to lose.
Men marry women who insist on marriage and who are willing to move on if a man does not share the same desire. To bring a man to marriage, he must feel that the woman can control her feminine desire to lock him down so that commitment becomes his idea, not hers.
If you cannot control your feminine desire to want security, men see this trait as a disadvantage and instead of becoming an assest, you become a liability.
Get the secrets about men 95% of women don't know. Make your man explode with desire for you, commit and be the kind of woman he HAS to marry. Get the free report on men and commitment, Click Here
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michelle_Washington
How to Make Sure That Your Marriage Doesn't End in Divorce
The sheer number of couples that are getting a divorce are on the rise. Many of these people who choose divorce as a means to solve their problems just don't have the right approach when it comes to taking care of their marriage and doing what absolutely needs to be done in order to have a relationship that is healthy and works for both people involved.
The first and perhaps most basic step in getting your marriage back on track is to discuss what issues there are between the two of you and get them out on the table. Many times in a marriage, over the years problems can become swept underneath the rug and not get discussed, which leads to bitterness and resentment that can tear a marriage apart.
This is why it is so important to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and ideas to each other on a regular basis. If you find that you both lead hectic lives with hardly any time to do this, then you have to start buckling down and making time. It can be first thing in the morning, in the middle of the day, or at night before bed. You just need to devote yourselves to coming up with a plan to talk regularly about what problems you have and possible solutions.
When you are having these discussions, it is extremely important to not get carried away and start fighting. There is a very distinct line between discussing something and arguing about something. You start to argue when yelling, screaming, and pointing fingers comes up. You want to avoid all of this because it is poisonous to any relationship and will only serve to further your problems and set you behind in your goals. Make sure that you are always communicating and doing so well, meaning being good listeners and conveying all of your thoughts and feelings in a clear and concise way.
You may also want to read some weber natural gas grill articles by going to http://www.webernaturalgasgrill.net/
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Susan_M.
The first and perhaps most basic step in getting your marriage back on track is to discuss what issues there are between the two of you and get them out on the table. Many times in a marriage, over the years problems can become swept underneath the rug and not get discussed, which leads to bitterness and resentment that can tear a marriage apart.
This is why it is so important to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and ideas to each other on a regular basis. If you find that you both lead hectic lives with hardly any time to do this, then you have to start buckling down and making time. It can be first thing in the morning, in the middle of the day, or at night before bed. You just need to devote yourselves to coming up with a plan to talk regularly about what problems you have and possible solutions.
When you are having these discussions, it is extremely important to not get carried away and start fighting. There is a very distinct line between discussing something and arguing about something. You start to argue when yelling, screaming, and pointing fingers comes up. You want to avoid all of this because it is poisonous to any relationship and will only serve to further your problems and set you behind in your goals. Make sure that you are always communicating and doing so well, meaning being good listeners and conveying all of your thoughts and feelings in a clear and concise way.
You may also want to read some weber natural gas grill articles by going to http://www.webernaturalgasgrill.net/
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Susan_M.
5 Actionable Tips to Save a Distressed Marriage
There is a ton of the device out there on how to save a marriage that is in difficulty. A lot of it can be vague philosophy and not too practical. I'm the type of person who thinks simple is better. I love little numbered lists or bullet points, so without further preamble here are five actionable tips that you can use that may smooth out some rough spots in your marriage relationship.
1. Work on yourself first.
I'll bet you did not like me starting off with that one. Did you think we were going to fix the other person? The only thing you can really control in the relationship is yourself, in the present moment. So start off by looking at what needs to be improved in you. The object here is to bring a better used to the relationship. If you clean up your side of the street, chances are the reactions of your partner will be positive and they will meet you halfway. It might be a good idea to chill out for a little while. Instead of turning up the pressure toward problem resolution, withdraw, and get a little introspective into your own attitudes and contributions to the relationship, both positive and negative.
2. Practice a timeout.
I know you're not a child, and you do not have to go to your room and sulk. But it might be a good idea to take a little time for yourself away from the relationship. If things had been heating up lately it may be a good idea to cool off for a while. Approach problems with less emotion and more rational thought. I know that is easier said than done but sometimes emotions can cloud the facts. One great exercise start focusing on the positive, remember what it was like to be in love with your spouse you must have seen something positive then. I bet if you look you will see those same qualities now, perhaps just in a different light.
3. Spend more time with each other.
If the cooling off period does not seem appropriate, or you have done that already, try investing a little time in the relationship. Put the work on hold and all the distractions in your life aside for a while and concentrate on that love of your life. A thoughtful gift kind comment and really seen your partner as a person whom you love can shed a whole new light on things. It is so easy in a hostile bustle of modern day living to start taking your partner for granted. This is a death knell on relationships. This may sound a little strange but if your life is very busy actually schedule time to be with your partner and make it a priority to follow through on. Being taken for granted is often the catalyst that starts an avalanche of marital problems.
4. Solve problems.
One of the worst problem solving skills of all time get one of the most common is to simply take a problem and ignore it and hope it goes away. That has never worked and I don't think it ever will. If problems and emotions are suppressed or repress they just gather pressure and or erupt sooner or later like a volcano.
Brainstorm problems together rather than making unilateral decisions. There is an almost lost art of communicating it goes something like this: I talk, you listen. You talk, I listen. We exchange feedback and compromise. Sounds simple doesn't it?
5. Use patience
There truly are no quick fixes on saving a marriage or relationship. Usually problems have arisen slowly and over time by emotional, behavioral, and attitude shifts. It will take conscious effort to bring things back into line. The important part is to make some progress forward and not worry so much about the speed with which changes are occurring. Sometimes small efforts can effect the changes when applied consistently over time.
We hope you have found these quick tips actionable and helpful enough to get your relationship back on track. Remember, the thought is just a thought, an emotion is just an emotion, nothing really happens until you take action.
Bill Underwood has discovered a new outdoor hobby since Florida retirement, treasure hunting with a metal detector. After a good deal of research I decided on a Whites metal detector. I was impressed enough to build an info site for people interested:
http://whitesmetaldetectorsinfo.com
Thank You
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bill_Underwood
1. Work on yourself first.
I'll bet you did not like me starting off with that one. Did you think we were going to fix the other person? The only thing you can really control in the relationship is yourself, in the present moment. So start off by looking at what needs to be improved in you. The object here is to bring a better used to the relationship. If you clean up your side of the street, chances are the reactions of your partner will be positive and they will meet you halfway. It might be a good idea to chill out for a little while. Instead of turning up the pressure toward problem resolution, withdraw, and get a little introspective into your own attitudes and contributions to the relationship, both positive and negative.
2. Practice a timeout.
I know you're not a child, and you do not have to go to your room and sulk. But it might be a good idea to take a little time for yourself away from the relationship. If things had been heating up lately it may be a good idea to cool off for a while. Approach problems with less emotion and more rational thought. I know that is easier said than done but sometimes emotions can cloud the facts. One great exercise start focusing on the positive, remember what it was like to be in love with your spouse you must have seen something positive then. I bet if you look you will see those same qualities now, perhaps just in a different light.
3. Spend more time with each other.
If the cooling off period does not seem appropriate, or you have done that already, try investing a little time in the relationship. Put the work on hold and all the distractions in your life aside for a while and concentrate on that love of your life. A thoughtful gift kind comment and really seen your partner as a person whom you love can shed a whole new light on things. It is so easy in a hostile bustle of modern day living to start taking your partner for granted. This is a death knell on relationships. This may sound a little strange but if your life is very busy actually schedule time to be with your partner and make it a priority to follow through on. Being taken for granted is often the catalyst that starts an avalanche of marital problems.
4. Solve problems.
One of the worst problem solving skills of all time get one of the most common is to simply take a problem and ignore it and hope it goes away. That has never worked and I don't think it ever will. If problems and emotions are suppressed or repress they just gather pressure and or erupt sooner or later like a volcano.
Brainstorm problems together rather than making unilateral decisions. There is an almost lost art of communicating it goes something like this: I talk, you listen. You talk, I listen. We exchange feedback and compromise. Sounds simple doesn't it?
5. Use patience
There truly are no quick fixes on saving a marriage or relationship. Usually problems have arisen slowly and over time by emotional, behavioral, and attitude shifts. It will take conscious effort to bring things back into line. The important part is to make some progress forward and not worry so much about the speed with which changes are occurring. Sometimes small efforts can effect the changes when applied consistently over time.
We hope you have found these quick tips actionable and helpful enough to get your relationship back on track. Remember, the thought is just a thought, an emotion is just an emotion, nothing really happens until you take action.
Bill Underwood has discovered a new outdoor hobby since Florida retirement, treasure hunting with a metal detector. After a good deal of research I decided on a Whites metal detector. I was impressed enough to build an info site for people interested:
http://whitesmetaldetectorsinfo.com
Thank You
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bill_Underwood
Monday, October 5, 2009
When a Husband Ignores You - Use This Simple Method to Get Him to Spend More Time With You
Understanding how your husband is hard wired is very important for the health of your marriage. When your husband ignores you, it is probably not because of the 5 pounds you put on since you were married 5 years ago. You need to understand that most men are not able to multitask like women, so if he is ignoring you, he is more than likely concentrating a larger project.
Right now, the project that your husband is working on is his world. Most men don't dabble in their projects, once it is set in their mind that they are going to do something, they really have at it. All of their efforts are put into completing their project or becoming the best at something; what you need to do is teach your husband to set boundaries between their projects and your marriage.
How are you going to do this? You're not going to nag and demand that he spend time with you because you're sick of your husband ignoring you. You're going to spend some time with him working on his latest project or quest to be the best. In other words you're going to do some "male bonding".
Spending time bonding with your husband in his quest to become the best will allow him to see you as a friend and not an enemy. You will no longer be the obstacle getting in the way of his success and he will be more willing to spend time with you the next time you want to go shopping or scrapbook your latest family vacation.
Bonding with your man will allow the two of you to spend some quality time together like you used to and it's possible that you may find a hobby from the time you are spending with your husband.
Learning how men and women bond differently can make a huge difference when a husband ignores you. For 7 more free tips to get you on the road to a better marriage, visit marriagemap.info.
Article Source:Get it here
Right now, the project that your husband is working on is his world. Most men don't dabble in their projects, once it is set in their mind that they are going to do something, they really have at it. All of their efforts are put into completing their project or becoming the best at something; what you need to do is teach your husband to set boundaries between their projects and your marriage.
How are you going to do this? You're not going to nag and demand that he spend time with you because you're sick of your husband ignoring you. You're going to spend some time with him working on his latest project or quest to be the best. In other words you're going to do some "male bonding".
Spending time bonding with your husband in his quest to become the best will allow him to see you as a friend and not an enemy. You will no longer be the obstacle getting in the way of his success and he will be more willing to spend time with you the next time you want to go shopping or scrapbook your latest family vacation.
Bonding with your man will allow the two of you to spend some quality time together like you used to and it's possible that you may find a hobby from the time you are spending with your husband.
Learning how men and women bond differently can make a huge difference when a husband ignores you. For 7 more free tips to get you on the road to a better marriage, visit marriagemap.info.
Article Source:Get it here
Is Separation Good For Marriage? The Surprising Answer You Need to Know
Is separation good for marriage? The answer to that question may surprise you. If you and your spouse are going through a rough patch at the moment, separation may be a word that is being bandied about between the two of you. If your spouse has brought it up, you may feel a bit overwhelmed by the idea. Being fearful of a separation is normal since most people mistakenly believe that once a separation occurs, the marriage can no longer be saved. That's actually not the case at all. In fact, you may find that you have a stronger, more stable and satisfying relationship if you and your spouse take some time apart from each other.
When you're considering the question is separation good for marriage you have to focus on the positive benefits that some time apart offers to you and your partner. When there is conflict in the marriage and you have no time or opportunity to get away from your spouse to think clearly, it can actually make the situation much worse. When a couple is struggling with an issue and they are constantly in contact with one another, they are bound to do and say things that are going to be hurtful to one another. This may take the form of prolonged arguing or perhaps unending silence. Some time apart, like a separation offers, allows both parties to cool down and think things through logically and calmly.
Another benefit that a separation affords is the opportunity to miss one another. Even if a couple feels as though they can't live together because they argue so much of the time, they often find that they just can't live without each other. This is something that your spouse may come to realize after just a few days of being apart from you. If you cry, plead or beg with them to stay, it may actually harm the relationship more than if you let them leave. As soon as they are no longer with you, they'll likely start to really miss you. That can actually be the catalyst that helps you two realize how much you mean to one another.
Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was. You can save your marriage and rebuild it into a more connected, satisfying relationship.
Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.
Article Source:check it here
When you're considering the question is separation good for marriage you have to focus on the positive benefits that some time apart offers to you and your partner. When there is conflict in the marriage and you have no time or opportunity to get away from your spouse to think clearly, it can actually make the situation much worse. When a couple is struggling with an issue and they are constantly in contact with one another, they are bound to do and say things that are going to be hurtful to one another. This may take the form of prolonged arguing or perhaps unending silence. Some time apart, like a separation offers, allows both parties to cool down and think things through logically and calmly.
Another benefit that a separation affords is the opportunity to miss one another. Even if a couple feels as though they can't live together because they argue so much of the time, they often find that they just can't live without each other. This is something that your spouse may come to realize after just a few days of being apart from you. If you cry, plead or beg with them to stay, it may actually harm the relationship more than if you let them leave. As soon as they are no longer with you, they'll likely start to really miss you. That can actually be the catalyst that helps you two realize how much you mean to one another.
Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was. You can save your marriage and rebuild it into a more connected, satisfying relationship.
Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.
Article Source:check it here
10 Ways to Put Romance in Your Marriage Everyday
A marriage is a wonderful relationship that allows you to explore yourself and another person. You will find that marriage can be easy, difficult, rewarding, frustrating, and everything in between all at the same time. One of the biggest complaints from people who have been married for some time is that the romance is gone. The following is a look at ten ways to put romance in your marriage everyday:
1. Kiss goodbye each time you leave. Too many married couples part for the day without a physical embrace of any kind. Try a kiss goodbye before you head out for your respective days away from each other. On occasion make it a steamy one. However, even a peck will help keep some of the romance in your marriage.
2. Say "I love you" each time you talk and end the conversation. This can be before you go to bed for the night, or it can be when you get off a phone conversation. Do not neglect to tell one another you love each other, you might regret it if you don't.
3. Have a few moments of alone time. One reason romance leaves a marriage is that with work, responsibilities, and children, often it is difficult to find the time for it. Make spending at least half an hour together, uninterrupted each day, a big priority.
4. Play together. Romance does not always have to come from gestures like flowers and candle lit dinners. Another great way to inspire romance is by playing with one another. This can be games, physical play, etc. It can be as simple as having a mini-water fight in the kitchen while you clean up the dinner dishes, or a tickle torture while you get ready for bed. Do not forget to have fun with one another.
5. Laugh together. Laughter inspires good feelings, contentment, and joy, all of which are necessary to have romance in a relationship. So, whether you laugh at or with each other, from a Laffy Taffy joke, or a funny television show, make sure there is laughter in your life each day.
6. Pinch butts. It may sound silly, but part of romance is feeling physically attracted to one another. When you make an effort to let your spouse know you are still physically attracted to them, whether by pinching their bum, or some other means, it can spark romantic feelings.
7. Touch is a critical element to romance. Hold hands while you drive, walk, etc. Hug one another, and make it a point to daily have some form of contact physically so that you never "lose touch" with your spouse.
8. Meals together is a great way to inspire romance. You do not have to have candle lit or intimate dinners, but you do have to have time together each day to talk, and to get to know one another more intimately (thoughts, dreams, goals, etc. as well as physically), and what better way than through eating meals with one another?
9. Service. Serving each other and doing thoughtful little things for one another is a great way to inspire romance in your marriage. This is especially helpful if you aren't feeling very romantically inclined.
10. Inside jokes, looks, etc. The more you share that is intimate and personal, the easier it is to have a romantic or intimate connection. So, wink at each other, share intimate secrets, and make efforts to improve your intimate bond.
1. Kiss goodbye each time you leave. Too many married couples part for the day without a physical embrace of any kind. Try a kiss goodbye before you head out for your respective days away from each other. On occasion make it a steamy one. However, even a peck will help keep some of the romance in your marriage.
2. Say "I love you" each time you talk and end the conversation. This can be before you go to bed for the night, or it can be when you get off a phone conversation. Do not neglect to tell one another you love each other, you might regret it if you don't.
3. Have a few moments of alone time. One reason romance leaves a marriage is that with work, responsibilities, and children, often it is difficult to find the time for it. Make spending at least half an hour together, uninterrupted each day, a big priority.
4. Play together. Romance does not always have to come from gestures like flowers and candle lit dinners. Another great way to inspire romance is by playing with one another. This can be games, physical play, etc. It can be as simple as having a mini-water fight in the kitchen while you clean up the dinner dishes, or a tickle torture while you get ready for bed. Do not forget to have fun with one another.
5. Laugh together. Laughter inspires good feelings, contentment, and joy, all of which are necessary to have romance in a relationship. So, whether you laugh at or with each other, from a Laffy Taffy joke, or a funny television show, make sure there is laughter in your life each day.
6. Pinch butts. It may sound silly, but part of romance is feeling physically attracted to one another. When you make an effort to let your spouse know you are still physically attracted to them, whether by pinching their bum, or some other means, it can spark romantic feelings.
7. Touch is a critical element to romance. Hold hands while you drive, walk, etc. Hug one another, and make it a point to daily have some form of contact physically so that you never "lose touch" with your spouse.
8. Meals together is a great way to inspire romance. You do not have to have candle lit or intimate dinners, but you do have to have time together each day to talk, and to get to know one another more intimately (thoughts, dreams, goals, etc. as well as physically), and what better way than through eating meals with one another?
9. Service. Serving each other and doing thoughtful little things for one another is a great way to inspire romance in your marriage. This is especially helpful if you aren't feeling very romantically inclined.
10. Inside jokes, looks, etc. The more you share that is intimate and personal, the easier it is to have a romantic or intimate connection. So, wink at each other, share intimate secrets, and make efforts to improve your intimate bond.
Signs Your Husband Wants a Divorce - Tips For Women in a Failing Marriage
Trying to read your husband's mind is virtually impossible. As women, we tend to be more open about what we're feeling. That makes it even more frustrating when you ask your husband how he feels about the relationship and he doesn't offer anything. Nagging him to talk about it will only result in him becoming more and more distant so it's not an option. If you're worried that your marriage is barrelling towards a breakdown, there are some signs your husband wants a divorce that will give you insight into where he's at emotionally.
One of the obvious signs your husband wants a divorce is his attitude towards you. If he seems less engaged with not only you but the family as well, that's not good. When a man is considering leaving his marriage he'll typically opt out of family activities and even vacations. If he retreats to a chair in front of the television when he gets home from work or if he is constantly more engrossed in his own hobbies than participating in the family, he's got one foot out the door already.
Another of the signs your husband wants a divorce is his refusal to talk about the problems you two are experiencing. Many men, when they are falling out of love with their wife, will tell her that nothing is wrong or they will blame their attitude on stress. If fixing the issues between you two isn't a priority to him, that's not good at all. He's allowing his feelings and the marriage to die, and unless you step in and change things, divorce will most certainly be a part of your future.
Specific things you do and say can compel your husband to appreciate and love you more. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause him to feel even more distant from you. You can make your husband fall even deeper in love with you than when you two first married.
You don't have to worry about whether your husband is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make him fall hopelessly in love with you.
Article Source:check itout here
One of the obvious signs your husband wants a divorce is his attitude towards you. If he seems less engaged with not only you but the family as well, that's not good. When a man is considering leaving his marriage he'll typically opt out of family activities and even vacations. If he retreats to a chair in front of the television when he gets home from work or if he is constantly more engrossed in his own hobbies than participating in the family, he's got one foot out the door already.
Another of the signs your husband wants a divorce is his refusal to talk about the problems you two are experiencing. Many men, when they are falling out of love with their wife, will tell her that nothing is wrong or they will blame their attitude on stress. If fixing the issues between you two isn't a priority to him, that's not good at all. He's allowing his feelings and the marriage to die, and unless you step in and change things, divorce will most certainly be a part of your future.
Specific things you do and say can compel your husband to appreciate and love you more. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause him to feel even more distant from you. You can make your husband fall even deeper in love with you than when you two first married.
You don't have to worry about whether your husband is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make him fall hopelessly in love with you.
Article Source:check itout here
Tips For Improving a Sexless Marriage
One third of married couples suffer from worries in their sexual life. Large numbers of couples report that they have sex once a month or less! A few years after marriage, sex has a tendency to become passionless, even mechanical. Eroticism, passion, and generosity can quickly begin to fade from the relationship. The frequency of sex naturally declines through time.
Help For Sexless Marriage
Emotional pain naturally follows from a marriage devoid of sex. Here are a few sexless marriage tips to help those who find themselves in a sexless marriage.
The first tip for you if you suffer from a sexless marriage is to avoid depression.you may feel naturally inclined to seek sympathy from a trusted friend or family member, but remember that such self-pity will not help the situation, and might actually worsen it.The first step is to accept the fact that your marriage needs to change, and then move forward with the necessary changes.
A vital tip for improving your sexless marriage is to not only consider your feelings and desires.It is natural to feel guilty for the lack of sexual desire in your spouse. Although one spouse will certainly feel hurt, confused, and rejected, the true source is probably deeper within the relationship.
You must also avoid the impression to try to blame your spouse for the lack of intimacy. When a marriage struggles regardless of the cause, it becomes almost instinctive to start place the blame for the situation to their partner.Trying to accuse each other will hurt, rather than improve, the situation.Liability for strengthening the marriage lies equally between both spouses.You must work with rather than your spouse if you want to improve your sexless marriage.
The last of our sexless marriage tips is to remain optimistic. Time can change our priorities.You may move, change jobs, or find new obligations outside of the family.It is vital that you remember to create private time for you and your spouse to spend together.Find time to re-spark your marriage by taking time off from other responsibilities at regular intervals. Check out our list of romantic dates to help you get started. Don't give up, and don't stop trying.
Other Resources You Might Find Helpful
Sexless Marriage Tips
Romantic Date Ideas
Article Source:check it out here
Help For Sexless Marriage
Emotional pain naturally follows from a marriage devoid of sex. Here are a few sexless marriage tips to help those who find themselves in a sexless marriage.
The first tip for you if you suffer from a sexless marriage is to avoid depression.you may feel naturally inclined to seek sympathy from a trusted friend or family member, but remember that such self-pity will not help the situation, and might actually worsen it.The first step is to accept the fact that your marriage needs to change, and then move forward with the necessary changes.
A vital tip for improving your sexless marriage is to not only consider your feelings and desires.It is natural to feel guilty for the lack of sexual desire in your spouse. Although one spouse will certainly feel hurt, confused, and rejected, the true source is probably deeper within the relationship.
You must also avoid the impression to try to blame your spouse for the lack of intimacy. When a marriage struggles regardless of the cause, it becomes almost instinctive to start place the blame for the situation to their partner.Trying to accuse each other will hurt, rather than improve, the situation.Liability for strengthening the marriage lies equally between both spouses.You must work with rather than your spouse if you want to improve your sexless marriage.
The last of our sexless marriage tips is to remain optimistic. Time can change our priorities.You may move, change jobs, or find new obligations outside of the family.It is vital that you remember to create private time for you and your spouse to spend together.Find time to re-spark your marriage by taking time off from other responsibilities at regular intervals. Check out our list of romantic dates to help you get started. Don't give up, and don't stop trying.
Other Resources You Might Find Helpful
Sexless Marriage Tips
Romantic Date Ideas
Article Source:check it out here
Is Your Marriage in Crisis? Regain the Lost Love and Passion
Divorce is so common because marriage is not easy. It is not easy even during the best of times and in the worst times, when your relationship with your spouse is going through a period of difficulty. Marriage can be demanding and stressful. You just want to be done with it by seeking divorce. However, methods exist that can solve your marriage crisis.
These method work regardless of the crisis you and your spouse are going through, whether it is a death or illness in the family, a natural disaster, financial trouble, problems with children, or some other type of issue.
Couples can handle stressful situations in their relationship by having a plan in place ahead of time before the crisis occurs. In other words, the couple needs to know how to handle an emergency or urgent problem before any type of predicament happens. The strategy outlined below will be sufficient for most couples in working out majority of the serious conditions. By following the guidelines below, you should be able to overcome any marriage crisis as it arises.
Do not hold responsible each other for the condition or situation that you are facing. Accusing each other does not resolve anything, and it could make things worse by intensifying the hostility between the two of you. Instead, be in control of your own actions and be caring of your spouse's needs.
When dealing with a marriage in crisis, try to lower your everyday expectations of how life should function. For example, you may need to compromise on eating out, instead of cooking at home. Or, you may have to let the housekeeping drop temporarily if there isn't time to carry out the daily upkeep of the home.
Do not expect your significant other to pick up your slack as far as everyday life activities go; instead, think about hiring outside help or asking friends for support. If you do not put extra work on your spouse, like making bill payments, running errands etc., the difficult period in your life will likely be less painful.
Be certain to maintain communication with your spouse. Do not use harsh language when speaking; rather, use sweet and nice words. Moreover, never talk down about your spouse in front of others. Talk to your spouse, as you would like your spouse to talk to you. A marriage in crisis can turn into divorce without good communication. Strong communication is the success of any relationship. So, be open-minded when having discussions and certainly pay attention to your spouse's point of view. Also, have the generosity to forgive and move on if there are any issues with miscommunication.
Controlling your anger is another approach to managing crisis in your marriage. Anger only makes the situation worse. Your words and actions go out of control. When your anger subdues, you cannot revert what just happened. So, please make an effort to control your anger.
Approach the situation together. In order, to overcome the crisis in your marriage both you and your spouse needs to work together because the crisis is affecting both of you. Working together can mean facing the problem as one or it can mean getting therapy as a couple; this will depend upon the exact crisis you are facing.
Confide in each other. Make each other believe that your marriage crisis is not going to last forever.
No matter what you do your marriage is in crisis still. T.W Jackson can certainly help resolve your marriage crisis. He is an expert and has helped over 6000 people with their relationship issues. Find out more by clicking here
Article Source:Check it out here http
These method work regardless of the crisis you and your spouse are going through, whether it is a death or illness in the family, a natural disaster, financial trouble, problems with children, or some other type of issue.
Couples can handle stressful situations in their relationship by having a plan in place ahead of time before the crisis occurs. In other words, the couple needs to know how to handle an emergency or urgent problem before any type of predicament happens. The strategy outlined below will be sufficient for most couples in working out majority of the serious conditions. By following the guidelines below, you should be able to overcome any marriage crisis as it arises.
Do not hold responsible each other for the condition or situation that you are facing. Accusing each other does not resolve anything, and it could make things worse by intensifying the hostility between the two of you. Instead, be in control of your own actions and be caring of your spouse's needs.
When dealing with a marriage in crisis, try to lower your everyday expectations of how life should function. For example, you may need to compromise on eating out, instead of cooking at home. Or, you may have to let the housekeeping drop temporarily if there isn't time to carry out the daily upkeep of the home.
Do not expect your significant other to pick up your slack as far as everyday life activities go; instead, think about hiring outside help or asking friends for support. If you do not put extra work on your spouse, like making bill payments, running errands etc., the difficult period in your life will likely be less painful.
Be certain to maintain communication with your spouse. Do not use harsh language when speaking; rather, use sweet and nice words. Moreover, never talk down about your spouse in front of others. Talk to your spouse, as you would like your spouse to talk to you. A marriage in crisis can turn into divorce without good communication. Strong communication is the success of any relationship. So, be open-minded when having discussions and certainly pay attention to your spouse's point of view. Also, have the generosity to forgive and move on if there are any issues with miscommunication.
Controlling your anger is another approach to managing crisis in your marriage. Anger only makes the situation worse. Your words and actions go out of control. When your anger subdues, you cannot revert what just happened. So, please make an effort to control your anger.
Approach the situation together. In order, to overcome the crisis in your marriage both you and your spouse needs to work together because the crisis is affecting both of you. Working together can mean facing the problem as one or it can mean getting therapy as a couple; this will depend upon the exact crisis you are facing.
Confide in each other. Make each other believe that your marriage crisis is not going to last forever.
No matter what you do your marriage is in crisis still. T.W Jackson can certainly help resolve your marriage crisis. He is an expert and has helped over 6000 people with their relationship issues. Find out more by clicking here
Article Source:Check it out here http
Sunday, September 27, 2009
So You Think Your Spouse is Cheating? Find Out the Truth Once and For All Right Here
If you think that your spouse is cheating then chances are you are on to something. These fears do not generally pop into your minds for no reason, which means that your spouse must have given you a reason to doubt him or her. Here I am going to show you exactly how to bust a spouse cheating and get back your peace of mind with a reverse cell search.
What you need to do is figure out who your spouse has been talking to on his or her personal cell phone. How can you do this? Well you need to get their cell phone and go through it! All you have to do is write down all of the numbers you do not recognize, and pay close attention to the ones that involve long conversations. This will give you an idea of how many numbers you need to research.
Now you must go find a quality reverse cell phone database to conduct your searches. The good thing is that the top directory charges just a one time small fee, and you can get access to an unlimited number of reverse cell phone searches. This is truly a great first step to take if you want to bust a cheating spouse.
At this point you are going to enter each number that you have into the database.Of course at this point you may be thinking I don't have the suspicious numbers yet because I have not been through my spouses phone yet. This is not a problem at all, just enter your own number to sign up for the service, because you will be getting an unlimited number of searches!
Find Out Who Owns Any Cell Phone Number Just 2 Minutes From Now! I Know You Have Been Curious About Who Owns That Cell Number That Keep Calling You Or Your Spouse, So Find Out Now! Find The Owner Of Any Number Here.
Visit http://who-owns-that-number.blogspot.com/ For Instant Access! I have researched the best websites for looking up cell phones over the last 9 months and found this one to be the absolute best!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Halia_Pendergrass
What you need to do is figure out who your spouse has been talking to on his or her personal cell phone. How can you do this? Well you need to get their cell phone and go through it! All you have to do is write down all of the numbers you do not recognize, and pay close attention to the ones that involve long conversations. This will give you an idea of how many numbers you need to research.
Now you must go find a quality reverse cell phone database to conduct your searches. The good thing is that the top directory charges just a one time small fee, and you can get access to an unlimited number of reverse cell phone searches. This is truly a great first step to take if you want to bust a cheating spouse.
At this point you are going to enter each number that you have into the database.Of course at this point you may be thinking I don't have the suspicious numbers yet because I have not been through my spouses phone yet. This is not a problem at all, just enter your own number to sign up for the service, because you will be getting an unlimited number of searches!
Find Out Who Owns Any Cell Phone Number Just 2 Minutes From Now! I Know You Have Been Curious About Who Owns That Cell Number That Keep Calling You Or Your Spouse, So Find Out Now! Find The Owner Of Any Number Here.
Visit http://who-owns-that-number.blogspot.com/ For Instant Access! I have researched the best websites for looking up cell phones over the last 9 months and found this one to be the absolute best!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Halia_Pendergrass
HOME::Relationships/Affairs X
If you think that your spouse is cheating on you then I am here to offer you the only solution that you need. Many people will tell you what signs that you need to look for and all of that stuff, but what you really need is proof! That is the only way that you will know for sure if your spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend is cheating on you! Here I am going to go into a little detail on exactly how to get this proof.
What the method I am going to teach you involves is conducting a reverse cell phone search to see if your significant other is a dirty cheater. This method works great, because statistics show that over 72% of cheaters are caught via cell phones!
The first thing that you need to do is go through your spouse's cell phone to see who he or she has been talking to. Write down all of the numbers that you do not recognize that your significant other has had at least 15 minute conversations with. This is often times a dead giveaway that they are cheating, and we are going to prove it!
At this point you need to head over to a top notch reverse cell phone directory to do so research. If you do not have the numbers you want to research yet it is ok, just use your own to start using the service since you have unlimited searches anyways.
You are going to enter each number, and you will get a name, address, and even a google map that corresponds to each number. Talk about some awesome information!
I found this one great tool, it works like a charm and it will work wonders for you too.
Find Out Who Owns Any Cell Phone Number Just 2 Minutes From Now! I Know You Have Been Curious About Who Owns That Cell Number That Keep Calling You Or Your Spouse, So Find Out Now! Find The Owner Of Any Number Here.
Visit http://who-owns-that-number.blogspot.com/ For Instant Access! I have researched the best websites for looking up cell phones over the last 9 months and found this one to be the absolute best!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Travis_Falconen
What the method I am going to teach you involves is conducting a reverse cell phone search to see if your significant other is a dirty cheater. This method works great, because statistics show that over 72% of cheaters are caught via cell phones!
The first thing that you need to do is go through your spouse's cell phone to see who he or she has been talking to. Write down all of the numbers that you do not recognize that your significant other has had at least 15 minute conversations with. This is often times a dead giveaway that they are cheating, and we are going to prove it!
At this point you need to head over to a top notch reverse cell phone directory to do so research. If you do not have the numbers you want to research yet it is ok, just use your own to start using the service since you have unlimited searches anyways.
You are going to enter each number, and you will get a name, address, and even a google map that corresponds to each number. Talk about some awesome information!
I found this one great tool, it works like a charm and it will work wonders for you too.
Find Out Who Owns Any Cell Phone Number Just 2 Minutes From Now! I Know You Have Been Curious About Who Owns That Cell Number That Keep Calling You Or Your Spouse, So Find Out Now! Find The Owner Of Any Number Here.
Visit http://who-owns-that-number.blogspot.com/ For Instant Access! I have researched the best websites for looking up cell phones over the last 9 months and found this one to be the absolute best!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Travis_Falconen
3 Tips on How to Catch Your Wife Cheating
There are many ways to catch your wife cheating. In this article I have discussed a crafty approach, which will help you build a strong case so that you have an upper hand when you ultimately confront her.
Shed moral inhibitions
If you are trying to catch your wife cheating, the first thing you must do is to get rid of moral inhibitions, which may prevent you from monitoring your wife's whereabouts.
Remember, if she is really guilty of infidelity, she breached the code of ethics first and there is no problem to resort to take certain steps that under normal circumstances should be regarded as improper.
In an ideal world, going through your wife's handbags and checking her mobile phone in her absence are highly unethical practices.
However, your wife will not have affair with another man in an ideal world either. Therefore, as the saying goes, everything is fair in love and war.
Don't confront your wife
The first thing that you will probably want to do when you find out your wife is cheating on you is to confront her. Trust me, she will probably lie through her teeth and deny all accusations.
Even if you actually catch her kissing her lover, she will probably tell you that the man was kissing her against her wishes.
Therefore, the second rule to catch your wife cheating is to stay calm and don't ever give her the slightest hint that you are aware what she is up to.
Hire a private investigator
The third step is to hire a private investigator. Forget about following your wife yourself, as plans such as these usually never work. Your wife may find you out or some friend may just shout your name when you are close at the heels of your wife in the arms of her lover.
She will need an explanation to give, but if she comes up with a plausible excuse you will be an extremely embarrassing situation.
Hiring a private investigator is your best bet to catch your wife cheating and to find hard evidences against her.
If you want to learn more about how to catch your wife cheating, I highly recommend catch spouse cheating guide. Learn how to catch your wife cheating on you easily.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ricky_Lim
Shed moral inhibitions
If you are trying to catch your wife cheating, the first thing you must do is to get rid of moral inhibitions, which may prevent you from monitoring your wife's whereabouts.
Remember, if she is really guilty of infidelity, she breached the code of ethics first and there is no problem to resort to take certain steps that under normal circumstances should be regarded as improper.
In an ideal world, going through your wife's handbags and checking her mobile phone in her absence are highly unethical practices.
However, your wife will not have affair with another man in an ideal world either. Therefore, as the saying goes, everything is fair in love and war.
Don't confront your wife
The first thing that you will probably want to do when you find out your wife is cheating on you is to confront her. Trust me, she will probably lie through her teeth and deny all accusations.
Even if you actually catch her kissing her lover, she will probably tell you that the man was kissing her against her wishes.
Therefore, the second rule to catch your wife cheating is to stay calm and don't ever give her the slightest hint that you are aware what she is up to.
Hire a private investigator
The third step is to hire a private investigator. Forget about following your wife yourself, as plans such as these usually never work. Your wife may find you out or some friend may just shout your name when you are close at the heels of your wife in the arms of her lover.
She will need an explanation to give, but if she comes up with a plausible excuse you will be an extremely embarrassing situation.
Hiring a private investigator is your best bet to catch your wife cheating and to find hard evidences against her.
If you want to learn more about how to catch your wife cheating, I highly recommend catch spouse cheating guide. Learn how to catch your wife cheating on you easily.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ricky_Lim
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Understand the Secret Behind Successful Communication to Save Your Marriage
If you are asking your self "how to save your marriage" you need to understand the secret behind successful communication.
Our mind works in mysterious ways, often when we communicate a message we do it indirectly. If we are good at picking up on indirect messages from someone, we have empathy with that person.
It can be hard to understand our self sometimes, if this is the case it is harder for someone else to understand us. If they don't pay very close attention, which they should, the message we are trying to communicate is lost. Even if we know what message we want to send, we rarely do it directly.
We want our spouse to understand how we feel and what we mean without having to tell them directly.
Indirect communication:
"Honey, I'm home!" is a way of communicating "Honey, come to me!"
If a child say "Mom, I'm hungry" the child actually asks "mom, can you make me some food?".
Indirect communication happens all the time! We love this way of communicating, since it shows we understand each other. The indirect communication is mostly processed unconsciously.
When you are having a passionate discussion or "fight" you might say, it is because we fail to read the true meaning behind the words our spouse is trying to communicate. To understand the secret behind successful communication and save your marriage you need to learn to read between the lines consciously. The better we understand each other the more successful the relationship will be.
Read more at this link
Article Source: view it here
Our mind works in mysterious ways, often when we communicate a message we do it indirectly. If we are good at picking up on indirect messages from someone, we have empathy with that person.
It can be hard to understand our self sometimes, if this is the case it is harder for someone else to understand us. If they don't pay very close attention, which they should, the message we are trying to communicate is lost. Even if we know what message we want to send, we rarely do it directly.
We want our spouse to understand how we feel and what we mean without having to tell them directly.
Indirect communication:
"Honey, I'm home!" is a way of communicating "Honey, come to me!"
If a child say "Mom, I'm hungry" the child actually asks "mom, can you make me some food?".
Indirect communication happens all the time! We love this way of communicating, since it shows we understand each other. The indirect communication is mostly processed unconsciously.
When you are having a passionate discussion or "fight" you might say, it is because we fail to read the true meaning behind the words our spouse is trying to communicate. To understand the secret behind successful communication and save your marriage you need to learn to read between the lines consciously. The better we understand each other the more successful the relationship will be.
Read more at this link
Article Source: view it here
Save Your Marriage Alone - 3 Simple Tips to Win Your Spouse Back
Save your marriage alone if your partner is not showing interest to do so. Marriages do not always stay on the right course. There are some moments when one might think that an appropriate solution to all their troubles is divorce or separation. In most cases, both partners do not have the same opinion and still one may love the other deeply.
If you are facing a similar situation and intend to win your partner back, below are given some crucial steps that you should take:
1. Save your marriage alone: The tips in this area include the first step to win your partner back. This requires admitting your responsibility for things that caused the relationship to reach at this point. Your partner might have complained about some things before divorce. If you have not yet made an apology for those matters, do it right now. Do not give a long clarification of why you acted in the manner, just be honest and explain how regretful you are.
2. Through actions, one can show that one has changed completely if one intends to get the spouse back. As the individual gives his word to change, he should also show it through his behavior. Try carefully to resolve out matters which have angered and irritated your partner.
3. Other significant consideration is to listen to what your partner wants to say. Discussing the problem is a bit complicated; however it is significant if you intend to improve the relationship. Do not ever push your partner to discuss about problematic matters you are experiencing, rather make certain that he appreciates that you are always available if he or she wants to do so.
Save your marriage alone by following all the above given tips. Once you have won your partner, you are open to talk about everything and anything.
Get the proven guidance of How To Save Your Marriage Alone, click Win Your Spouse Back.
Article Source: check it out here
If you are facing a similar situation and intend to win your partner back, below are given some crucial steps that you should take:
1. Save your marriage alone: The tips in this area include the first step to win your partner back. This requires admitting your responsibility for things that caused the relationship to reach at this point. Your partner might have complained about some things before divorce. If you have not yet made an apology for those matters, do it right now. Do not give a long clarification of why you acted in the manner, just be honest and explain how regretful you are.
2. Through actions, one can show that one has changed completely if one intends to get the spouse back. As the individual gives his word to change, he should also show it through his behavior. Try carefully to resolve out matters which have angered and irritated your partner.
3. Other significant consideration is to listen to what your partner wants to say. Discussing the problem is a bit complicated; however it is significant if you intend to improve the relationship. Do not ever push your partner to discuss about problematic matters you are experiencing, rather make certain that he appreciates that you are always available if he or she wants to do so.
Save your marriage alone by following all the above given tips. Once you have won your partner, you are open to talk about everything and anything.
Get the proven guidance of How To Save Your Marriage Alone, click Win Your Spouse Back.
Article Source: check it out here
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Why Husbands Get Bored With Wives After Marriage
Whether it is a man or woman, human beings get bored doing or eating the same thing every day. When you started dating with your husband, you cannot wait to meet him up or do something with him together. As time goes on, both of you will lose the spontaneity to put in more effort to shower surprises and soon it appears that there is nothing new and you will wonder why husbands get bored with wife after marriage when he show signs of boredom. The fact is both of you are starting to take things for granted and that is when boredom sets in.
- Man is a hunter
Man always want to be challenged and because when he knows everything inside out about you, there is nothing more that he wants to discover further and in the end, he gets bored.
- Woman start to neglect
Many women after marriage start to neglect a lot of things about themselves. They pay lesser attention to those details how they attracted the men in the past. They neglect their figure and image, they do the same old routine for the family every day, they become more nagging, putting the priorities of the household, children and taking care of themselves and the feminism as secondary.
Many women will start to question why husbands get bored with wife after marriage when they have always been trying to be a good wife in the marriage. The answer is a woman will continue to attract and capture the heart of their husband only when they act like a good mother, a housewife, a confident woman and not forgetting to be a seductive woman in the bedroom. Most women tend to forget the last two points when they are married for too long.
- Respect and Communication
Mutual respect in a marriage is important and hence the same goes to your communication with your husband. For example, your husband shares with you an achievement that he made at work today, instead of praising him, you just reply him very casually, showing him that you are not very interested. Praise him if he has done something great every time. Both of you will understand each other needs better when communication is going on well smoothly.
Fulfilling and understanding your husband's needs can restore back his energy and love into this marriage. There are many ways to make your husband fall back in love with you again. You just need a little trick to Win His Heart completely.
You will not ask the same question about why husbands get bored with wife after marriage when you know all the amazing ways to make him love you. Here are the tips to recapture his attention on you: don't fail to click this link
Article Source:Visit this link
- Man is a hunter
Man always want to be challenged and because when he knows everything inside out about you, there is nothing more that he wants to discover further and in the end, he gets bored.
- Woman start to neglect
Many women after marriage start to neglect a lot of things about themselves. They pay lesser attention to those details how they attracted the men in the past. They neglect their figure and image, they do the same old routine for the family every day, they become more nagging, putting the priorities of the household, children and taking care of themselves and the feminism as secondary.
Many women will start to question why husbands get bored with wife after marriage when they have always been trying to be a good wife in the marriage. The answer is a woman will continue to attract and capture the heart of their husband only when they act like a good mother, a housewife, a confident woman and not forgetting to be a seductive woman in the bedroom. Most women tend to forget the last two points when they are married for too long.
- Respect and Communication
Mutual respect in a marriage is important and hence the same goes to your communication with your husband. For example, your husband shares with you an achievement that he made at work today, instead of praising him, you just reply him very casually, showing him that you are not very interested. Praise him if he has done something great every time. Both of you will understand each other needs better when communication is going on well smoothly.
Fulfilling and understanding your husband's needs can restore back his energy and love into this marriage. There are many ways to make your husband fall back in love with you again. You just need a little trick to Win His Heart completely.
You will not ask the same question about why husbands get bored with wife after marriage when you know all the amazing ways to make him love you. Here are the tips to recapture his attention on you: don't fail to click this link
Article Source:Visit this link
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
How to Get Your Husband to Pay Attention to You
You try very hard to get your husband's attention, but he is not showing any reaction. It seems that he is no longer interested in you because you feel a detachment in the marriage. Sometimes, when a couple moves into a daily routine of maintaining the household and raising children, the relationship may not be as sweet and romantic as before. In the end, you start to wonder how you can get your husband to pay attention to you.
Stop showing out your emotions
Do not try to beg or quarrel with your husband over this problem. Your husband will think that you are being dramatic whenever you do that and hence he will not treat this problem seriously. He knows that you will care for him no matter what and this is going to let do whatever he wants. Instead of focusing how to get your husband to pay attention to you, you should focus on how to make yourself feel better by participating in a new sport or going out with your friends. Let him know that your world is not only about him alone.
Reflect on yourself
If you want your husband to pay more attention to you, ask yourself, have you been doing the same to him? Maybe you think that he is not trying hard to understand your needs, but think in another way, do you understand his needs as well? Have an honest chat with him, talk to him slowly about the problems between both of you and let him know how both of you can improve the relationship.
Take initiative
Sometimes because of juggling between household, children, work and relationship, a couple can be quite stressed up in the marriage. He may show signs of wanting to have a break, but yet not taking the initiatives to do anything about it. Take a step forward to do something for this marriage, bring the kids to a baby sitter and arrange to go and do something that both of you can enjoy.
It is not really a big problem to get your husband to pay attention to you. As long as you know the right ways to deal with your marriage problems, you should be able to capture his attention and win his heart back.
In the next page, you will find amazing ways to save back your marriage. Visit: This link
Article Source:Get it here
Stop showing out your emotions
Do not try to beg or quarrel with your husband over this problem. Your husband will think that you are being dramatic whenever you do that and hence he will not treat this problem seriously. He knows that you will care for him no matter what and this is going to let do whatever he wants. Instead of focusing how to get your husband to pay attention to you, you should focus on how to make yourself feel better by participating in a new sport or going out with your friends. Let him know that your world is not only about him alone.
Reflect on yourself
If you want your husband to pay more attention to you, ask yourself, have you been doing the same to him? Maybe you think that he is not trying hard to understand your needs, but think in another way, do you understand his needs as well? Have an honest chat with him, talk to him slowly about the problems between both of you and let him know how both of you can improve the relationship.
Take initiative
Sometimes because of juggling between household, children, work and relationship, a couple can be quite stressed up in the marriage. He may show signs of wanting to have a break, but yet not taking the initiatives to do anything about it. Take a step forward to do something for this marriage, bring the kids to a baby sitter and arrange to go and do something that both of you can enjoy.
It is not really a big problem to get your husband to pay attention to you. As long as you know the right ways to deal with your marriage problems, you should be able to capture his attention and win his heart back.
In the next page, you will find amazing ways to save back your marriage. Visit: This link
Article Source:Get it here
Tips For Improving a Sexless Marriage
One third of married couples suffer from worries in their sexual life. Large numbers of couples report that they have sex once a month or less! A few years after marriage, sex has a tendency to become passionless, even mechanical. Eroticism, passion, and generosity can quickly begin to fade from the relationship. The frequency of sex naturally declines through time.
Help For Sexless Marriage
Emotional pain naturally follows from a marriage devoid of sex. Here are a few sexless marriage tips to help those who find themselves in a sexless marriage.
The first tip for you if you suffer from a sexless marriage is to avoid depression.you may feel naturally inclined to seek sympathy from a trusted friend or family member, but remember that such self-pity will not help the situation, and might actually worsen it.The first step is to accept the fact that your marriage needs to change, and then move forward with the necessary changes.
A vital tip for improving your sexless marriage is to not only consider your feelings and desires.It is natural to feel guilty for the lack of sexual desire in your spouse. Although one spouse will certainly feel hurt, confused, and rejected, the true source is probably deeper within the relationship.
You must also avoid the impression to try to blame your spouse for the lack of intimacy. When a marriage struggles regardless of the cause, it becomes almost instinctive to start place the blame for the situation to their partner.Trying to accuse each other will hurt, rather than improve, the situation.Liability for strengthening the marriage lies equally between both spouses.You must work with rather than your spouse if you want to improve your sexless marriage.
The last of our sexless marriage tips is to remain optimistic. Time can change our priorities.You may move, change jobs, or find new obligations outside of the family.It is vital that you remember to create private time for you and your spouse to spend together.Find time to re-spark your marriage by taking time off from other responsibilities at regular intervals. Check out our list of romantic dates to help you get started. Don't give up, and don't stop trying.
Other Resources You Might Find Helpful
Sexless Marriage Tips
Romantic Date Ideas
Article Source: Get more information here
Help For Sexless Marriage
Emotional pain naturally follows from a marriage devoid of sex. Here are a few sexless marriage tips to help those who find themselves in a sexless marriage.
The first tip for you if you suffer from a sexless marriage is to avoid depression.you may feel naturally inclined to seek sympathy from a trusted friend or family member, but remember that such self-pity will not help the situation, and might actually worsen it.The first step is to accept the fact that your marriage needs to change, and then move forward with the necessary changes.
A vital tip for improving your sexless marriage is to not only consider your feelings and desires.It is natural to feel guilty for the lack of sexual desire in your spouse. Although one spouse will certainly feel hurt, confused, and rejected, the true source is probably deeper within the relationship.
You must also avoid the impression to try to blame your spouse for the lack of intimacy. When a marriage struggles regardless of the cause, it becomes almost instinctive to start place the blame for the situation to their partner.Trying to accuse each other will hurt, rather than improve, the situation.Liability for strengthening the marriage lies equally between both spouses.You must work with rather than your spouse if you want to improve your sexless marriage.
The last of our sexless marriage tips is to remain optimistic. Time can change our priorities.You may move, change jobs, or find new obligations outside of the family.It is vital that you remember to create private time for you and your spouse to spend together.Find time to re-spark your marriage by taking time off from other responsibilities at regular intervals. Check out our list of romantic dates to help you get started. Don't give up, and don't stop trying.
Other Resources You Might Find Helpful
Sexless Marriage Tips
Romantic Date Ideas
Article Source: Get more information here
Monday, August 31, 2009
Marriage - 4 Things That Women Should Accomplish Before Saying "I Do"
It all starts with taking the L.E.A.P (four steps to happiness).
Lifestyle
Earnings
Alone time
Passion
Fact -
By now we all know that 40-50% of marriages ends in divorce, but let's explore that even further. I bet many of you were not even aware that a whopping 36 to 39% of that percentage belongs to women and men under the age of 25. The plot thickens.
The Myths -
In today's world, women are more independent than ever; however, many of us are still haunted by the myths "happily-ever-after" and "love can conquer all", which play a major part in the high divorce rates. Let's face it, many women still long for the fairytale ending of some handsome Prince sweeping them off their feet...taking them away from all problems, completing them, and on and on. This only works in the movies. In real life, after the honeymoon stage, everyday life starts to pay a visit-and often.
The Culprit -
The truth of the matter is these are some of the real culprits that threaten your happy ending:
* Finances
* Sex
* Communication
* Family
* Religion
* Resentment
Many relationships are doomed to fail before they even begin because they are started under such false pretenses. There are no guarantees, but if you're thinking of getting married at some point in your life and want to increase the odds of happiness, take that L.E.A.P. These four simple must do's (as I like to call it), prepares you for whatever's to, come by starting with the one in the mirror, you!
L-is for Lifestyle
First take inventory of the life you currently live and the kind you see yourself living in the future. You may lead a quiet, laid-back, walks-along-the-beach type of life or you may like the excitement of concerts, parties etc. You may be quite the traveler; can't stay put for long periods of time. Are you a vegan, religious, or a neat freak? Do you live lavishly, accepting only the finer things that life has to offer? You get the idea. Compatibility is a major aspect of a relationship. Learn your lifestyle.
E- is for Earning
Get your finances in order. Money's not everything, but let's be real honest-when things go wrong in a relationship, there's nothing happy about being broke and alone with no plans. Set your income goals and go for it -full speed. Make sure you have a checking and savings account. Some of you may have mutual funds, stocks and bonds, even a 401k. Are you in debt? Take a look at your credit reports. See where you stand on paper and take the proper steps to improve your score. Don't wait until you get into a relationship to do these things, because love has a way of distracting us, especially women. Go in solid or close to it.
A-is for Alone
This one may seem obvious, but few of us truly get this. Spend some alone time with, that's right, you. Fall in love with you first before loving someone else. Ask yourself, "Who am I"? Figure out what truly makes you happy. Do you have trust, commitment, or jealousy issues? Are you religious or are you spiritual? If you don't deal with these issues now, they will surface once you're married, promise.
P-is for Passion
Last, but probably the most important of the four. Follow your dreams. Never and I mean never give up on your dreams. Take every single step towards that dream. Focus on you before you focus on someone else. If you do it the other way around, 9 times out of ten, you'll end up putting your life on hold. Find that career and do what it takes to achieve it and thrive.
So enclosing my friends, remember-although nothings guaranteed and no rule is set in stone, one thing's for sure-no one can give you happiness, you must supply yourself with a plethora of it...then there will be plenty to go around.
R. Phillips
Motivator for Independent Women.Go through this link to know more
Article Source:Visit this link for that
Lifestyle
Earnings
Alone time
Passion
Fact -
By now we all know that 40-50% of marriages ends in divorce, but let's explore that even further. I bet many of you were not even aware that a whopping 36 to 39% of that percentage belongs to women and men under the age of 25. The plot thickens.
The Myths -
In today's world, women are more independent than ever; however, many of us are still haunted by the myths "happily-ever-after" and "love can conquer all", which play a major part in the high divorce rates. Let's face it, many women still long for the fairytale ending of some handsome Prince sweeping them off their feet...taking them away from all problems, completing them, and on and on. This only works in the movies. In real life, after the honeymoon stage, everyday life starts to pay a visit-and often.
The Culprit -
The truth of the matter is these are some of the real culprits that threaten your happy ending:
* Finances
* Sex
* Communication
* Family
* Religion
* Resentment
Many relationships are doomed to fail before they even begin because they are started under such false pretenses. There are no guarantees, but if you're thinking of getting married at some point in your life and want to increase the odds of happiness, take that L.E.A.P. These four simple must do's (as I like to call it), prepares you for whatever's to, come by starting with the one in the mirror, you!
L-is for Lifestyle
First take inventory of the life you currently live and the kind you see yourself living in the future. You may lead a quiet, laid-back, walks-along-the-beach type of life or you may like the excitement of concerts, parties etc. You may be quite the traveler; can't stay put for long periods of time. Are you a vegan, religious, or a neat freak? Do you live lavishly, accepting only the finer things that life has to offer? You get the idea. Compatibility is a major aspect of a relationship. Learn your lifestyle.
E- is for Earning
Get your finances in order. Money's not everything, but let's be real honest-when things go wrong in a relationship, there's nothing happy about being broke and alone with no plans. Set your income goals and go for it -full speed. Make sure you have a checking and savings account. Some of you may have mutual funds, stocks and bonds, even a 401k. Are you in debt? Take a look at your credit reports. See where you stand on paper and take the proper steps to improve your score. Don't wait until you get into a relationship to do these things, because love has a way of distracting us, especially women. Go in solid or close to it.
A-is for Alone
This one may seem obvious, but few of us truly get this. Spend some alone time with, that's right, you. Fall in love with you first before loving someone else. Ask yourself, "Who am I"? Figure out what truly makes you happy. Do you have trust, commitment, or jealousy issues? Are you religious or are you spiritual? If you don't deal with these issues now, they will surface once you're married, promise.
P-is for Passion
Last, but probably the most important of the four. Follow your dreams. Never and I mean never give up on your dreams. Take every single step towards that dream. Focus on you before you focus on someone else. If you do it the other way around, 9 times out of ten, you'll end up putting your life on hold. Find that career and do what it takes to achieve it and thrive.
So enclosing my friends, remember-although nothings guaranteed and no rule is set in stone, one thing's for sure-no one can give you happiness, you must supply yourself with a plethora of it...then there will be plenty to go around.
R. Phillips
Motivator for Independent Women.Go through this link to know more
Article Source:Visit this link for that
Make Your Husband Fall in Love With You Again
A lot of married women have a common overriding concern - how do they make their husbands fall in love with them again? After years of being married the romance can dry out and sometimes that can spell trouble. When feelings change, it opens the marriage to all sorts of insecurities and worries... Will he leave me for someone else? Does he not find me attractive anymore? Why can't we have fun the way we used to? How can we rekindle the romance? These are some concerns that give many women sleepless nights.
It's not a good feeling when you realize that your husband's feelings towards you might've changed. And you wonder if you should leave things as they are and watch your marriage move towards a slow and painful death or is there something you can do to save it? Well, the good news is, you can make your husband fall in love with you again and put your marriage back on solid ground. Here are some effective tips to make your man sit up and take notice of you:
• Don't make the mistake of focusing on figuring out what exactly went wrong and why? Instead of worrying or concentrating on the negatives, focus on positive solutions.
• If you continue to focus on what could've made your husband fall out of love with you, you'll be filled with regret. As of today, regard this as the beginning of a new and satisfying phase of your marriage. Wake up everyday with this positive attitude.
• Your husband is bound to notice a change in your behavior and might get inspired by it! When you reach out to him and show him how much you love him and value his being an integral part of your life, his attitude will also change.
• Don't forget to be the best you can be. When you look in the mirror concentrate on the good features of your face, don't look at your acne or crooked nose or whatever! Do good and feel good. Work on yourself within and without. Look after your appearance. These things should make your husband fall in love with you again.
• Cultivate and follow your dreams. Do things you've always wanted to, but didn't or couldn't for whatever reason. A spouse with their own set of interests makes for an attractive and confident partner, someone who has new aspects to talk about and share.
• Learn to have fun again as a couple. Don't get over serious about life - the kids, bills to pay, money to earn. Sure, you need to do all of that and they are extremely important, but don't let them take over your life completely. Have moments of spontaneous fun! Do it consciously and you both will feel good! Go for an ice cream in the middle of the night. Go shake a leg or two at a night club!
• In order for someone to love you, you need to love yourself. When you love yourself, you have more to give. And when you treat yourself well, your husband will remember how lucky he is to have you in his life.
Try out these highly effective tips and notice the positive changes they bring about in your marriage and partner. This is how you make your husband fall in love with you again! All the best!
Why is getting your husband back so important to you?
Because a good relationship is one of the most treasured of human interactions. We all want to be loved. There are the great times together, the shared dreams and visions, the mutual likes and dislikes and more. Great relationships are essential for enjoying a good quality of life. They color everything else around us.
Losing a lover is one of the most emotionally traumatizing episodes in our life. Losing a spouse is even worse. It is amazing how the very thing that brings us the most pleasure also brings with it the most grief.
But don't give up on the love of your life yet. It is too early for this. You can still reverse the breakup and successfully reunite with your spouse. I will teach you how to bring back the passion into your relationship.
Please visit my site: to find out how you can get your husband back in your life and make him fall in love with you again. These methods have been used by many with an extraordinary degree of success. You will be in good hands.
Article Source:Follow this link
It's not a good feeling when you realize that your husband's feelings towards you might've changed. And you wonder if you should leave things as they are and watch your marriage move towards a slow and painful death or is there something you can do to save it? Well, the good news is, you can make your husband fall in love with you again and put your marriage back on solid ground. Here are some effective tips to make your man sit up and take notice of you:
• Don't make the mistake of focusing on figuring out what exactly went wrong and why? Instead of worrying or concentrating on the negatives, focus on positive solutions.
• If you continue to focus on what could've made your husband fall out of love with you, you'll be filled with regret. As of today, regard this as the beginning of a new and satisfying phase of your marriage. Wake up everyday with this positive attitude.
• Your husband is bound to notice a change in your behavior and might get inspired by it! When you reach out to him and show him how much you love him and value his being an integral part of your life, his attitude will also change.
• Don't forget to be the best you can be. When you look in the mirror concentrate on the good features of your face, don't look at your acne or crooked nose or whatever! Do good and feel good. Work on yourself within and without. Look after your appearance. These things should make your husband fall in love with you again.
• Cultivate and follow your dreams. Do things you've always wanted to, but didn't or couldn't for whatever reason. A spouse with their own set of interests makes for an attractive and confident partner, someone who has new aspects to talk about and share.
• Learn to have fun again as a couple. Don't get over serious about life - the kids, bills to pay, money to earn. Sure, you need to do all of that and they are extremely important, but don't let them take over your life completely. Have moments of spontaneous fun! Do it consciously and you both will feel good! Go for an ice cream in the middle of the night. Go shake a leg or two at a night club!
• In order for someone to love you, you need to love yourself. When you love yourself, you have more to give. And when you treat yourself well, your husband will remember how lucky he is to have you in his life.
Try out these highly effective tips and notice the positive changes they bring about in your marriage and partner. This is how you make your husband fall in love with you again! All the best!
Why is getting your husband back so important to you?
Because a good relationship is one of the most treasured of human interactions. We all want to be loved. There are the great times together, the shared dreams and visions, the mutual likes and dislikes and more. Great relationships are essential for enjoying a good quality of life. They color everything else around us.
Losing a lover is one of the most emotionally traumatizing episodes in our life. Losing a spouse is even worse. It is amazing how the very thing that brings us the most pleasure also brings with it the most grief.
But don't give up on the love of your life yet. It is too early for this. You can still reverse the breakup and successfully reunite with your spouse. I will teach you how to bring back the passion into your relationship.
Please visit my site: to find out how you can get your husband back in your life and make him fall in love with you again. These methods have been used by many with an extraordinary degree of success. You will be in good hands.
Article Source:Follow this link
How Best To Show Love To Your Spouse
Love your spouse - the Secret Of love in marriage. Love is blind and it wins all. Love is a wonderful gift from God, it makes one feel special and multiplies joy, it is kind, thoughtful and adds spice to life. You might be wondering how this works out, it is simply by falling deeply in love again with your spouse. The question is how? It might be lingering in your mind. I wonder where the first love goes after marriage. Have you ever flashed back how life used to be when you were newly married? With all the sweet words and wonderful treatment, love was at its climax. How you used to hold her like a baby, call her sweet names such as sweet heart, baby, honey and so on. Now the fire of love died out and the spark that used to ignite you is dead. True love remains forever green, it does not grow weary because it takes no effort, it doesn't grow old because it knows no conditions, it cares, bears and goes on and on. So, if you truly meant what you used to do, love your spouse.
Why can't you rekindle your love flame and love your spouse? Love ends when you stop caring and sharing. Allocate time for your spouse without interruptions of any activities. Take holiday outings together and get time to share views and opinions that would keep your moves better and improve your love life. To show love to your spouse, you may do extra-ordinary things that would re-ignite the love that you had towards your spouse. Spoil your spouse by surprising her with such gifts that you used to offer during courtship. You may also call him/her such names that you used during your early days in marriage. To ladies, where did you take the attention that you used to give your husband before you got kids? All the attention was driven off to your kids. It is a high time you draw back that attention to him and love your spouse.
Widen your vision, develop a healthy self image and find strength in adversity within your spouse. Refresh the good old memories that used to re-light and sets power in appreciation. Learn to appreciate every single thing that your spouse does to you even though small. Courtesy costs nothing but means a lot, learn to use such words as please, sorry and excuse when addressing your spouse. Learn to love your spouse under all conditions regardless of the hardships and the mountains and valleys you might be crossing together.
Take your spouse to such places that you used to go when in courtship such as cinemas and dancing halls. Do crazy things that you used to do while young in love such as kissing, dancing together, playing and so on. By doing this you will be strengthening the bond of love that
is between you and you will be showing your spouse how much you love him/her. Rekindle your love flame and love your spouse once more.
Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Love Your Spouse Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Love Your Spouse
Article Source:Don't fail to visit this link
Why can't you rekindle your love flame and love your spouse? Love ends when you stop caring and sharing. Allocate time for your spouse without interruptions of any activities. Take holiday outings together and get time to share views and opinions that would keep your moves better and improve your love life. To show love to your spouse, you may do extra-ordinary things that would re-ignite the love that you had towards your spouse. Spoil your spouse by surprising her with such gifts that you used to offer during courtship. You may also call him/her such names that you used during your early days in marriage. To ladies, where did you take the attention that you used to give your husband before you got kids? All the attention was driven off to your kids. It is a high time you draw back that attention to him and love your spouse.
Widen your vision, develop a healthy self image and find strength in adversity within your spouse. Refresh the good old memories that used to re-light and sets power in appreciation. Learn to appreciate every single thing that your spouse does to you even though small. Courtesy costs nothing but means a lot, learn to use such words as please, sorry and excuse when addressing your spouse. Learn to love your spouse under all conditions regardless of the hardships and the mountains and valleys you might be crossing together.
Take your spouse to such places that you used to go when in courtship such as cinemas and dancing halls. Do crazy things that you used to do while young in love such as kissing, dancing together, playing and so on. By doing this you will be strengthening the bond of love that
is between you and you will be showing your spouse how much you love him/her. Rekindle your love flame and love your spouse once more.
Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Love Your Spouse Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Love Your Spouse
Article Source:Don't fail to visit this link
Loving Your Spouse With Wisdom
There are two ways we can love our spouse. We can love under our own understanding of what we think love is, or we can love the way God has directed us to love. I think we all know how to love, but doing it is a whole different matter.
What is the difference between the two? The first way of loving is a condition and learned way to love, which is selfish and self-seeking. We don't know we are behaving selfishly because we do not know any other way to love.
The second way of loving is what comes naturally because we have loved and accepted God into our lives first. The reason it's so natural is because we have recognized and utilized the spiritual Christ in our lives, which makes loving a natural process of who we are.
It is very difficult to love another if we are only thinking about ourselves. Some examples of how we love our spouse selfishly are, committing adultery, being disrespectful, using controlling behavior, using negative feelings, becoming resentful, becoming ensnared in an addiction, and the list goes on.
False teachings on marriage and loose morals in society have caused many couples to become bitter and apprehensive when loving one another. Society has lost the value of what real love is and it has tainted couples into sinful behavior. As we all know sin dampens our love for God by turning our focus on ourselves. You cannot truly love your spouse if you only think of yourself.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain, or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:25-28
1. A Husband should be willing to sacrifice everything for his wife just as Jesus Christ sacrificed everything for us. Do you think a husband who loves God will be able to make his wife the most important aspect of his life?
2. A Husband should make his wife's well-being of prime importance. Do you think that if a man accepts Christ into his life he will know how to love, protect, provide and care for his wife properly? God will give him the answers he needs.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24
As you can see from scripture, both husband and wife are called to submit. For the wife, this means willingly following her husband's leadership in Christ. For the husband, it means putting aside his own interests in order to care for his wife properly. This means doing whatever it takes to protect, provide, love, and care for his wife under the "spiritual authority" given to him by God.
If a husband does not accept the "spiritual authority" of God, then he has no justification to think that his wife submit to him the way God intends for a woman to submit to her husband. Obviously they are not basing their love under the foundations of Jesus Christ, but under their own understanding of what they think love is, and this scripture, therefore, does not apply to them.
Here is what couples usually tell me when they are going through difficulties in their marriage. They want to do what is right for their marriage. They are willing to work at the marriage but don't know what to do about their problems. Their negative feelings bring them down, and they are usually upset and furious over the iniquities and faults of one another.
The problem is couples are basing their marriage upon worldly views, attitudes, and thoughts, and the fact is, as long as they continue to do so, they will continue to have difficulties loving their spouse properly. When we are not motivated by love, we become critical of our spouse. We stop looking for the good things in those we love and only see their faults.
We can all talk about how to love and we know what the bible says about loving our spouse, but what about doing what it says! Bottom line is real love takes effort, and if the willingness is not there to work on marriage and to love our spouse with the love that comes natural, couples will have problems.
The good news is you can love your spouse naturally and wholly by recognizing and utilizing the foundations of God's design into your relationship and working off of that for your marriage.
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Romans 12:9-13
Angie Lewis is the author of two marriage books. "Journey on the Roads Less Traveled", a book about love, life, addiction, and marriage.
"Love The Man Your Married. This book tackles areas in marriage that couples need to know and understand and apply for a successful marriage. This book is a most reliable resource for married couples, from infidelity issues to complete forgiveness.
For more information on these books visit Angie's website and sign up for the free monthly newsletter while you're there! Get yours by clicking this link :
Article Source:Check it out here:
What is the difference between the two? The first way of loving is a condition and learned way to love, which is selfish and self-seeking. We don't know we are behaving selfishly because we do not know any other way to love.
The second way of loving is what comes naturally because we have loved and accepted God into our lives first. The reason it's so natural is because we have recognized and utilized the spiritual Christ in our lives, which makes loving a natural process of who we are.
It is very difficult to love another if we are only thinking about ourselves. Some examples of how we love our spouse selfishly are, committing adultery, being disrespectful, using controlling behavior, using negative feelings, becoming resentful, becoming ensnared in an addiction, and the list goes on.
False teachings on marriage and loose morals in society have caused many couples to become bitter and apprehensive when loving one another. Society has lost the value of what real love is and it has tainted couples into sinful behavior. As we all know sin dampens our love for God by turning our focus on ourselves. You cannot truly love your spouse if you only think of yourself.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain, or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:25-28
1. A Husband should be willing to sacrifice everything for his wife just as Jesus Christ sacrificed everything for us. Do you think a husband who loves God will be able to make his wife the most important aspect of his life?
2. A Husband should make his wife's well-being of prime importance. Do you think that if a man accepts Christ into his life he will know how to love, protect, provide and care for his wife properly? God will give him the answers he needs.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24
As you can see from scripture, both husband and wife are called to submit. For the wife, this means willingly following her husband's leadership in Christ. For the husband, it means putting aside his own interests in order to care for his wife properly. This means doing whatever it takes to protect, provide, love, and care for his wife under the "spiritual authority" given to him by God.
If a husband does not accept the "spiritual authority" of God, then he has no justification to think that his wife submit to him the way God intends for a woman to submit to her husband. Obviously they are not basing their love under the foundations of Jesus Christ, but under their own understanding of what they think love is, and this scripture, therefore, does not apply to them.
Here is what couples usually tell me when they are going through difficulties in their marriage. They want to do what is right for their marriage. They are willing to work at the marriage but don't know what to do about their problems. Their negative feelings bring them down, and they are usually upset and furious over the iniquities and faults of one another.
The problem is couples are basing their marriage upon worldly views, attitudes, and thoughts, and the fact is, as long as they continue to do so, they will continue to have difficulties loving their spouse properly. When we are not motivated by love, we become critical of our spouse. We stop looking for the good things in those we love and only see their faults.
We can all talk about how to love and we know what the bible says about loving our spouse, but what about doing what it says! Bottom line is real love takes effort, and if the willingness is not there to work on marriage and to love our spouse with the love that comes natural, couples will have problems.
The good news is you can love your spouse naturally and wholly by recognizing and utilizing the foundations of God's design into your relationship and working off of that for your marriage.
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Romans 12:9-13
Angie Lewis is the author of two marriage books. "Journey on the Roads Less Traveled", a book about love, life, addiction, and marriage.
"Love The Man Your Married. This book tackles areas in marriage that couples need to know and understand and apply for a successful marriage. This book is a most reliable resource for married couples, from infidelity issues to complete forgiveness.
For more information on these books visit Angie's website and sign up for the free monthly newsletter while you're there! Get yours by clicking this link :
Article Source:Check it out here:
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Can I Save My Marriage? Try to Spice Up Your Sex Life.By Lanny A Ward
Whenever they feel that their marriage has reached an all time low or is in severe danger of doing so, many martial partners will raise the question: "can I save my marriage?" The answer is both yes and no, because if the relationship is not working out (for whatever reason) and only one spouse is making all of the effort, then the relationship will not get terribly far. A marriage has to be a relationship which prizes honesty, commitment, loyalty and trust between both spouses and where both spouses are made to feel valued and appreciated. An unequal partnership is an unhealthy relationship and whilst it may function for a while in the short-term it will eventually falter and then die a death in the long term.
However that said, it maybe that one of the spouses has to take that all essential first step towards making progress and so they may want to try and initiate the new regime of change. The same problems and issues plague marriages across the world and irrespective of length, or culture and thankfully the solutions are equally universal.
If you feel that sex is the issue (whether this is due to the lack of it or the "quality" of it) then focus on this. It is important that the spouses appreciate that males and females regard sexuality in different ways and there will be different aspects of it that they will value over the others. Men for example, tend to be rather visual creatures who prefer overt and prominent displays of sexuality and femininity. Ladies, why not surprise (and treat!) your husband to some new lingerie? Bring him his dinner in it, and watch his eyes pop out of his head in a heady combination of lust, desire, surprise and delight!
Nothing excites a man quite so much than fellatio (oral sex) and again the principle of conspicuousness outlined in the above paragraph is equally applicable. Make sure you wear a very bright lipstick be it red or pink to accentuate your mouth, groan and moan whilst performing it and make sure to compliment him on his size/taste/whatever.
As pleasant as fellatio is and can be, one of the surest ways to excite your man is to make eye contact with him during it. There is nothing quite so delicious or erotic in this world than to have a female adoring your penis with a look of submission and devotion in her eyes.
However that said, it maybe that one of the spouses has to take that all essential first step towards making progress and so they may want to try and initiate the new regime of change. The same problems and issues plague marriages across the world and irrespective of length, or culture and thankfully the solutions are equally universal.
If you feel that sex is the issue (whether this is due to the lack of it or the "quality" of it) then focus on this. It is important that the spouses appreciate that males and females regard sexuality in different ways and there will be different aspects of it that they will value over the others. Men for example, tend to be rather visual creatures who prefer overt and prominent displays of sexuality and femininity. Ladies, why not surprise (and treat!) your husband to some new lingerie? Bring him his dinner in it, and watch his eyes pop out of his head in a heady combination of lust, desire, surprise and delight!
Nothing excites a man quite so much than fellatio (oral sex) and again the principle of conspicuousness outlined in the above paragraph is equally applicable. Make sure you wear a very bright lipstick be it red or pink to accentuate your mouth, groan and moan whilst performing it and make sure to compliment him on his size/taste/whatever.
As pleasant as fellatio is and can be, one of the surest ways to excite your man is to make eye contact with him during it. There is nothing quite so delicious or erotic in this world than to have a female adoring your penis with a look of submission and devotion in her eyes.
3 Easy Ways to Last Longer in Bed and Give Her Multiple EXPLOSIVE Orgasms (Very Powerful!).By Evan Kinney
Do you notice that just after 15 minutes of sex (or even less), you already reach your limit and climax? Do you even notice your partner having her own orgasm with you? And when she says it doesn't really matter if she doesn't orgasm, don't take her word for it - you could be in real trouble! You really have to work on bringing her to a climax each time you have sex. Follow these 3 simple tips to increase your stamina, and even outlast her!
#1 - Diversify your styles: Even if sex feels so amazing for you, do not stick with one position when making love to her. When you are feeling so good, change your position so you reduce your own stimulation. Try to do this naturally so it would not feel awkward and just feel like a continuation of your making love. Keep at it and do not stop so her pleasure builds even as you keep yours down.
#2 - Give yourself some Love before giving her some too! Masturbate first if you know you will be having sex with your lady today. By spending all that energy and having your penis lose some of its stored sperm, you decrease the chances of you to have a premature ejaculation. This will make sure you would be able to hold your penis up longer.
#3 - Do not let yourself be over stimulated: Limiting the sensation of your penis with a condom would ensure that you are able to have sex with your partner longer. Try those thick condoms that are on sale. If you cannot find any, wear two condoms. It will be very difficult if you're just controlling your penis to hold your climax. You cannot even tell what might happen during sex, so it is definitely better to be safe than sorry!
#1 - Diversify your styles: Even if sex feels so amazing for you, do not stick with one position when making love to her. When you are feeling so good, change your position so you reduce your own stimulation. Try to do this naturally so it would not feel awkward and just feel like a continuation of your making love. Keep at it and do not stop so her pleasure builds even as you keep yours down.
#2 - Give yourself some Love before giving her some too! Masturbate first if you know you will be having sex with your lady today. By spending all that energy and having your penis lose some of its stored sperm, you decrease the chances of you to have a premature ejaculation. This will make sure you would be able to hold your penis up longer.
#3 - Do not let yourself be over stimulated: Limiting the sensation of your penis with a condom would ensure that you are able to have sex with your partner longer. Try those thick condoms that are on sale. If you cannot find any, wear two condoms. It will be very difficult if you're just controlling your penis to hold your climax. You cannot even tell what might happen during sex, so it is definitely better to be safe than sorry!
The 7 Christian Sex Laws For Better Sex In Marriage.By Jacob Thomas
The amount of sexual, romantic, and intimate satisfaction you expect from your marriage is largely affected by your ability to constantly and consistently reinforce the reasons why you and your lover chose to wed. I promise you can enjoy giving and receiving better sex with hyper satisfaction so long as you are willing to do three things:
1. Pray with God and each other
2. Take the time to uncover and workout the 'little-meaningless-issues' in your marriage that turn into big disagreements.
3. Continue to always want/ask for an increase in the intimacy department of your marriage.
In addition to these three things though, I have a set of rules - Jacob's Sex Laws that I recommend to Christian couples who want to improve the intimacy in their marriage.
Be there.
Use your mind.
Use props.
Take your time.
Get Feedback.
Use everything.
Always care outside.
Be There
One of the biggest factors of great sexual chemistry that's overlooked is being unattached to what's going on. It doesn't matter whether you are on the giving end or receiving end of sex; it's important to stay focused and be there. Have you ever heard the saying of 'physically here, mentally somewhere else'? Some days you may have to work hard to keep from getting distracted. The bills will still get paid and Johnny will do his homework on time, so for the moment - just relax and enjoy the moment.
Use your mind
Just because you may be in the habit of physically going through the motions of sex does not mean that's the way it's supposed to be. The best kind of sex is always an emotional journey like a 747 airplane's gradual climb to the top of the clouded blue lit sky and a comfortable descent in paradise. Use your mind to think of new positions, things to say, different ways to say it, different ways to kiss, a great sex story can always add extra excitement to the night.
Use Props
You don't always have to be in the bed to have sex. The slightest change in your sex location can make a huge difference in interest, desire, and arousal. Far too often the bed is used as the main center of attraction for sex.
Take your time
One of the biggest romance and intimacy killers of all time is the refusal to actively engage in foreplay. After dinner sit at the table and talk, talk about things you don't normally talk about and ask questions that will arouse your spouse. Be flirtatious in a way that is irresistible and tease your spouse to no end. The next move to make is to kiss, fondle, and undress - but slooooooooooowwww down. Some nights it will be better to take one article of clothing off at a time (with music on in the background and your 'sexy' face) than to lay there and just wait for it.
Get Feedback
Is there anything I can do better? Is there anything I do that totally annoys you? Every now and then a sex survey is necessary for both your benefit and your spouse's. Maybe you'll find out that he likes to have the lights on so he can watch the action. Or maybe you'll find out that she likes to have her hair stroked and be hugged tightly. Most sex experts do not mention the importance of a feedback loop but it is important in your marriage considering how feelings, moods, attitudes can change over time.
Use everything
Being able to multi-task/touch is the name of the game and will work miracles you never thought were possible. I would like to say think of yourself like an octopus if I may do so, but in that light - if you can rub her feet while kissing in the missionary position you will create a huge surge of arousal by hitting those erotic zones. As a wife - if you can rub oil on his chest while straddling him and telling him your fantasies, you will drive your husband insane...to the moon and back.
Always care outside
The factor that we drive home the most and always stress is that sex does not start in the bedroom; it never has and never will - and the sooner you can grasp this concept is the sooner you ensure you will always enjoy great sex. You see, thinking about each other and being happy with each other outside of the bedroom is the key to having outrageously exciting sex. Being able to hold hands, kiss, laugh, share ideas, and secrets is what fuels the fire....sex is just the way to put it out.
Always remember and know that your marriage is extremely valuable and the intimacy you share with your spouse is another way of making it stronger
1. Pray with God and each other
2. Take the time to uncover and workout the 'little-meaningless-issues' in your marriage that turn into big disagreements.
3. Continue to always want/ask for an increase in the intimacy department of your marriage.
In addition to these three things though, I have a set of rules - Jacob's Sex Laws that I recommend to Christian couples who want to improve the intimacy in their marriage.
Be there.
Use your mind.
Use props.
Take your time.
Get Feedback.
Use everything.
Always care outside.
Be There
One of the biggest factors of great sexual chemistry that's overlooked is being unattached to what's going on. It doesn't matter whether you are on the giving end or receiving end of sex; it's important to stay focused and be there. Have you ever heard the saying of 'physically here, mentally somewhere else'? Some days you may have to work hard to keep from getting distracted. The bills will still get paid and Johnny will do his homework on time, so for the moment - just relax and enjoy the moment.
Use your mind
Just because you may be in the habit of physically going through the motions of sex does not mean that's the way it's supposed to be. The best kind of sex is always an emotional journey like a 747 airplane's gradual climb to the top of the clouded blue lit sky and a comfortable descent in paradise. Use your mind to think of new positions, things to say, different ways to say it, different ways to kiss, a great sex story can always add extra excitement to the night.
Use Props
You don't always have to be in the bed to have sex. The slightest change in your sex location can make a huge difference in interest, desire, and arousal. Far too often the bed is used as the main center of attraction for sex.
Take your time
One of the biggest romance and intimacy killers of all time is the refusal to actively engage in foreplay. After dinner sit at the table and talk, talk about things you don't normally talk about and ask questions that will arouse your spouse. Be flirtatious in a way that is irresistible and tease your spouse to no end. The next move to make is to kiss, fondle, and undress - but slooooooooooowwww down. Some nights it will be better to take one article of clothing off at a time (with music on in the background and your 'sexy' face) than to lay there and just wait for it.
Get Feedback
Is there anything I can do better? Is there anything I do that totally annoys you? Every now and then a sex survey is necessary for both your benefit and your spouse's. Maybe you'll find out that he likes to have the lights on so he can watch the action. Or maybe you'll find out that she likes to have her hair stroked and be hugged tightly. Most sex experts do not mention the importance of a feedback loop but it is important in your marriage considering how feelings, moods, attitudes can change over time.
Use everything
Being able to multi-task/touch is the name of the game and will work miracles you never thought were possible. I would like to say think of yourself like an octopus if I may do so, but in that light - if you can rub her feet while kissing in the missionary position you will create a huge surge of arousal by hitting those erotic zones. As a wife - if you can rub oil on his chest while straddling him and telling him your fantasies, you will drive your husband insane...to the moon and back.
Always care outside
The factor that we drive home the most and always stress is that sex does not start in the bedroom; it never has and never will - and the sooner you can grasp this concept is the sooner you ensure you will always enjoy great sex. You see, thinking about each other and being happy with each other outside of the bedroom is the key to having outrageously exciting sex. Being able to hold hands, kiss, laugh, share ideas, and secrets is what fuels the fire....sex is just the way to put it out.
Always remember and know that your marriage is extremely valuable and the intimacy you share with your spouse is another way of making it stronger
Twelve Ways to Make Your Spouse Dislike Sex. By Nancy Wasson
It’s really not difficult to ruin what could have been great sex. If that’s your goal, following these twelve suggestions will ensure that, over time, your spouse will become very creative in finding ways to avoid having sex with you.
Of course, we're writing this article “tongue in cheek” to make a point. But we can assure you that these behaviors will detract from your sexual relationship with your partner. That’s because sexual feelings are vulnerable to being affected by so many other factors, such as self-esteem, expectations, criticism, emotional intimacy, and pressure.
Do these Things to Ruin Your Sex Life
So here are the behaviors guaranteed to be “turn offs” to your spouse. In italics is the faulty reasoning that gets marriages into trouble. In parentheses (...), we've added a counterweight to the faulty reasoning.
1. Develop a set routine for when you want to have sex—the same time and same place every week.
“That way, you don’t have to wonder when you’ll have sex—Sunday night at 9:00 p.m. in the bedroom—just like clock work. No use leaving it to chance, right?”
(How boring. Try adding excitement by surprising your mate with something slightly new and different.)
2. Follow exactly the same “plays” and “moves” each time.
“This way you both know what to expect each time. It’s just too much work to come up with different things to try, and after the honeymoon period, it’s not really necessary, is it?”
(Instead, remember a variation on the old saying that variety is the spice of life... and of sex).
3. Drink a lot first so that you’re loosened up.
“If your mate doesn’t like the smell or wishes you wouldn’t drink so much before sex, it’s just too bad. You can’t let your spouse tell you what to do, can you?”
(Consistent and excessive intoxication during sex is a big turn-off and could indicate deeper problems.)
4. Only touch your spouse when your goal is to have sex.
“Save your hugs, wet kisses, and holding hands until you’re ready to signal that you want sex. That way your partner will associate your touch with sex and know what to expect, get my drift? Cuts down on misunderstandings, doesn't it?”
(Actually, the best sex can be the result of hours or even days of buildup with no obvious sign of sex on the horizon. During this time, any sign of affection - a touch, a hug, some compliments - can be powerful foreplay that builds to ignite passion.)
5. Expect your spouse to deliver the sexual goods because you’re married.
“Your mate knows that every 'good' marriage partner owes sex to the other partner as part of his or her 'duties.' After all, isn’t this supposed to be one of the benefits of being married?”
(When sex becomes an obligation, it becomes as appealing as paying taxes. Instead, if your goal is to make the experience breathtaking for your partner, you'll never have to invoke guilt or obligation to get sex.)
6. Push for sex even if your spouse seems reluctant and uninterested as long as he or she says “okay.”
“If the verbal agreement is there, ignore the behavioral signals that indicate reluctance. If your spouse didn’t really want to have sex, he or she should have said so up front, right?”
(Pay close attention to your mate's body language. That can be more revealing of true interest in sex than words alone. You'll damage your relationship if you forge ahead when your partner only agrees just to get it over with.)
7. Skip foreplay and get to the major action immediately.
“It takes too much time to bother with all that extra stuff. Besides, both of you have to go to work in the morning and need your sleep. You can’t afford to waste time.”
(The truth is, there is often a direct correlation to the amount of foreplay with the quality of the sex. The better the buildup, the better the payoff.)
8. Criticize your spouse’s sexual performance.
“After all, you’re only trying to motivate your mate to be a better sexual partner. It’s not healthy to keep things in, so he or she will just have to listen to your critique.”
(You will get more satisfying performance out of your mate by praising what he or she does that you like, rather than the contrary.)
9. Criticize your spouse’s physical appearance.
“If your partner has developed a beer belly or gotten flabby, you’re doing him or her a favor to say how much that turns you off. It’ll motivate your spouse to lose weight and shape up, which will help him or her in the long run.”
(The rule is: use positive strokes to motivate your partner. Negative criticism will poison your sex life.)
10. Answer your cell phone during sex.
“You just never know; this call might be important. Anyway, what’s the big deal? It’s not like you’ll never have sex again. You’ve been having sex for years now, so why should your partner get upset with an occasional interruption?”
(Respect your partner with your undivided attention to get back the same. Minimize all distractions if possible.)
11. Get it over with as fast as possible as long as you’re satisfied.
“Don’t ask your partner if there’s anything you can do for him or her. Just assume that everything’s okay unless your mate says something.”
(If satisfaction is not mutual, your sex life will suffer. The simple question a couple can ask each other - "How can I please you?" - works wonders.)
12. Jump up immediately and make your get-away afterwards.
“The faster you get finished, the faster you’ll be able to get to sleep. There’s no time to waste just lying there talking. You can talk tomorrow over breakfast.”
(Emotional closeness is the currency of intimacy and you can achieve it by allowing each other to share honest feelings. Pillow talk after sex is one of the best times for this.)
Of course, we're writing this article “tongue in cheek” to make a point. But we can assure you that these behaviors will detract from your sexual relationship with your partner. That’s because sexual feelings are vulnerable to being affected by so many other factors, such as self-esteem, expectations, criticism, emotional intimacy, and pressure.
Do these Things to Ruin Your Sex Life
So here are the behaviors guaranteed to be “turn offs” to your spouse. In italics is the faulty reasoning that gets marriages into trouble. In parentheses (...), we've added a counterweight to the faulty reasoning.
1. Develop a set routine for when you want to have sex—the same time and same place every week.
“That way, you don’t have to wonder when you’ll have sex—Sunday night at 9:00 p.m. in the bedroom—just like clock work. No use leaving it to chance, right?”
(How boring. Try adding excitement by surprising your mate with something slightly new and different.)
2. Follow exactly the same “plays” and “moves” each time.
“This way you both know what to expect each time. It’s just too much work to come up with different things to try, and after the honeymoon period, it’s not really necessary, is it?”
(Instead, remember a variation on the old saying that variety is the spice of life... and of sex).
3. Drink a lot first so that you’re loosened up.
“If your mate doesn’t like the smell or wishes you wouldn’t drink so much before sex, it’s just too bad. You can’t let your spouse tell you what to do, can you?”
(Consistent and excessive intoxication during sex is a big turn-off and could indicate deeper problems.)
4. Only touch your spouse when your goal is to have sex.
“Save your hugs, wet kisses, and holding hands until you’re ready to signal that you want sex. That way your partner will associate your touch with sex and know what to expect, get my drift? Cuts down on misunderstandings, doesn't it?”
(Actually, the best sex can be the result of hours or even days of buildup with no obvious sign of sex on the horizon. During this time, any sign of affection - a touch, a hug, some compliments - can be powerful foreplay that builds to ignite passion.)
5. Expect your spouse to deliver the sexual goods because you’re married.
“Your mate knows that every 'good' marriage partner owes sex to the other partner as part of his or her 'duties.' After all, isn’t this supposed to be one of the benefits of being married?”
(When sex becomes an obligation, it becomes as appealing as paying taxes. Instead, if your goal is to make the experience breathtaking for your partner, you'll never have to invoke guilt or obligation to get sex.)
6. Push for sex even if your spouse seems reluctant and uninterested as long as he or she says “okay.”
“If the verbal agreement is there, ignore the behavioral signals that indicate reluctance. If your spouse didn’t really want to have sex, he or she should have said so up front, right?”
(Pay close attention to your mate's body language. That can be more revealing of true interest in sex than words alone. You'll damage your relationship if you forge ahead when your partner only agrees just to get it over with.)
7. Skip foreplay and get to the major action immediately.
“It takes too much time to bother with all that extra stuff. Besides, both of you have to go to work in the morning and need your sleep. You can’t afford to waste time.”
(The truth is, there is often a direct correlation to the amount of foreplay with the quality of the sex. The better the buildup, the better the payoff.)
8. Criticize your spouse’s sexual performance.
“After all, you’re only trying to motivate your mate to be a better sexual partner. It’s not healthy to keep things in, so he or she will just have to listen to your critique.”
(You will get more satisfying performance out of your mate by praising what he or she does that you like, rather than the contrary.)
9. Criticize your spouse’s physical appearance.
“If your partner has developed a beer belly or gotten flabby, you’re doing him or her a favor to say how much that turns you off. It’ll motivate your spouse to lose weight and shape up, which will help him or her in the long run.”
(The rule is: use positive strokes to motivate your partner. Negative criticism will poison your sex life.)
10. Answer your cell phone during sex.
“You just never know; this call might be important. Anyway, what’s the big deal? It’s not like you’ll never have sex again. You’ve been having sex for years now, so why should your partner get upset with an occasional interruption?”
(Respect your partner with your undivided attention to get back the same. Minimize all distractions if possible.)
11. Get it over with as fast as possible as long as you’re satisfied.
“Don’t ask your partner if there’s anything you can do for him or her. Just assume that everything’s okay unless your mate says something.”
(If satisfaction is not mutual, your sex life will suffer. The simple question a couple can ask each other - "How can I please you?" - works wonders.)
12. Jump up immediately and make your get-away afterwards.
“The faster you get finished, the faster you’ll be able to get to sleep. There’s no time to waste just lying there talking. You can talk tomorrow over breakfast.”
(Emotional closeness is the currency of intimacy and you can achieve it by allowing each other to share honest feelings. Pillow talk after sex is one of the best times for this.)
Monday, August 17, 2009
Hooking Up vs. Lasting Love: It’s Your Choice
hooking Up” – “friends with benefits” – “booty call”
These terms have become all too familiar in today’s dating world. Are they words that you can relate to? Have you lived them in some way? If so, how have you felt about the experience(s) both during and after? Chances are that you have mixed feelings at best. Depending on your age and sex, you may give a somewhat different response to this question. Whatever your answer, a close look at this “dating experience” that impacts so many singles in so many ways may be useful to you as you think about what your long-term relationship goals are and what you REALLY want from a relationship.
So what exactly do these terms mean?
“Hooking up” is getting together for sex. There is generally no formal “date” involved.
“Friends with benefits” usually refers to two people who are “friends” who also have sex together. Again, there’s a distinction between what they share and “dating”.
“Booty call” usually describes the act of a man (woman) calling up another person to come over for sex. The sex doesn’t follow dinner, a movie or other “quality” time together, getting to really know each other. It’s physical.
Do you define this activity (even loosely) as dating? Has this become a new intimacy for some or many of you? If so, it’s important to look at how/if it meets your needs and if it aligns with your basic values and relationship wants and goals.
Begin by asking yourself some core questions, such as:
Am I comfortable with intimacy?
Am I comfortable with a purely physical relationship?
Am I able to be physically involved with someone while remaining emotionally detached?
How do I feel about myself when I engage in this behavior?
Am I doing this to please someone or win his or her affection?
Is monogamy and marriage my goal?
If your answers reflect discordance between how you feel and what you do; it would be helpful to understand the reasons behind your behavior. Do any of these sound familiar?
“It’s convenient”
“It’s easy”
“It’s safe”
“It requires no commitment on my part”
In addition to these explanations, some singles express a belief that “everyone does it” or “it’s expected”. Therefore, they often report engaging in it, but not feeling really ok or satisfied afterwards. Others use it as a substitute for real intimacy, referencing their difficulties in meeting and dating in general.
Then there are the people who have sex hoping it will lead to love. This too is a desire for intimacy that can lead to sadness and disappointment and the possibility of contacting a dangerous and life-altering infection. It reminds me of the line in a song, “if I can love you good enough on the outside to make you feel it on the inside, then maybe you will stay…”
If you recognize yourself in any of these statements and want to address your issue, begin with an inventory of your values and self-awareness.
Read the articles: “Defining Intimacy”, “Clarifying And Living Your Values”, and “How’s Your Self-Awareness”.
If you would find feedback that deals specifically with these issues helpful, take the “What’s Your Intimacy IQ” and “Are You Relationship Ready” quizzes.
Once you have determined what you really want from a relationship you can begin to make clear, thought out choices that will open the path that points in the direction you wish to go. Until you do so, you face the possibility of more disappointing and short-lived encounters that leave you feeling more alone and less hopeful about the possibility for lasting happy love.
Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Woman’s Day, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men’s Health, Star (regularly quoted body language expert), and Nirvana magazines. She has been featured on abcnews.com; discovery.health.com; aolnews.com; MSN.com, Match.com and planetearthradio.com. Toni offers dating help and relationship advice as the weekly love and dating coach on the KTRS Radio Morning Show (St. Louis, MO) and through her syndicated column, “Dear
Dating Coach.” Her newsletter, The Art Of Intimacy, helps over fifty-five hundred subscribers with its dating and relationship advice. Toni is a member of The International Coach Federation, The International Association Of Coaches and The National Association of Social Workers.
To get good books that will help you in both relationship and internet business go to www.resellrightstores.com
These terms have become all too familiar in today’s dating world. Are they words that you can relate to? Have you lived them in some way? If so, how have you felt about the experience(s) both during and after? Chances are that you have mixed feelings at best. Depending on your age and sex, you may give a somewhat different response to this question. Whatever your answer, a close look at this “dating experience” that impacts so many singles in so many ways may be useful to you as you think about what your long-term relationship goals are and what you REALLY want from a relationship.
So what exactly do these terms mean?
“Hooking up” is getting together for sex. There is generally no formal “date” involved.
“Friends with benefits” usually refers to two people who are “friends” who also have sex together. Again, there’s a distinction between what they share and “dating”.
“Booty call” usually describes the act of a man (woman) calling up another person to come over for sex. The sex doesn’t follow dinner, a movie or other “quality” time together, getting to really know each other. It’s physical.
Do you define this activity (even loosely) as dating? Has this become a new intimacy for some or many of you? If so, it’s important to look at how/if it meets your needs and if it aligns with your basic values and relationship wants and goals.
Begin by asking yourself some core questions, such as:
Am I comfortable with intimacy?
Am I comfortable with a purely physical relationship?
Am I able to be physically involved with someone while remaining emotionally detached?
How do I feel about myself when I engage in this behavior?
Am I doing this to please someone or win his or her affection?
Is monogamy and marriage my goal?
If your answers reflect discordance between how you feel and what you do; it would be helpful to understand the reasons behind your behavior. Do any of these sound familiar?
“It’s convenient”
“It’s easy”
“It’s safe”
“It requires no commitment on my part”
In addition to these explanations, some singles express a belief that “everyone does it” or “it’s expected”. Therefore, they often report engaging in it, but not feeling really ok or satisfied afterwards. Others use it as a substitute for real intimacy, referencing their difficulties in meeting and dating in general.
Then there are the people who have sex hoping it will lead to love. This too is a desire for intimacy that can lead to sadness and disappointment and the possibility of contacting a dangerous and life-altering infection. It reminds me of the line in a song, “if I can love you good enough on the outside to make you feel it on the inside, then maybe you will stay…”
If you recognize yourself in any of these statements and want to address your issue, begin with an inventory of your values and self-awareness.
Read the articles: “Defining Intimacy”, “Clarifying And Living Your Values”, and “How’s Your Self-Awareness”.
If you would find feedback that deals specifically with these issues helpful, take the “What’s Your Intimacy IQ” and “Are You Relationship Ready” quizzes.
Once you have determined what you really want from a relationship you can begin to make clear, thought out choices that will open the path that points in the direction you wish to go. Until you do so, you face the possibility of more disappointing and short-lived encounters that leave you feeling more alone and less hopeful about the possibility for lasting happy love.
Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune, The Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Woman’s Day, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men’s Health, Star (regularly quoted body language expert), and Nirvana magazines. She has been featured on abcnews.com; discovery.health.com; aolnews.com; MSN.com, Match.com and planetearthradio.com. Toni offers dating help and relationship advice as the weekly love and dating coach on the KTRS Radio Morning Show (St. Louis, MO) and through her syndicated column, “Dear
Dating Coach.” Her newsletter, The Art Of Intimacy, helps over fifty-five hundred subscribers with its dating and relationship advice. Toni is a member of The International Coach Federation, The International Association Of Coaches and The National Association of Social Workers.
To get good books that will help you in both relationship and internet business go to www.resellrightstores.com
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Signs a Man Doesn't Want to Be Married to You Anymore. By Leslie Cane
I often get emails from wives who suspect that their husband no longer wants to be in the relationship. Often, people ask me for "signs that a husband doesn't want to be married or in the marriage anymore." And, I often will respond with a list of danger signs to watch for, but I also typically tell women that if their intuition is telling them that something is wrong or is off, then they should always listen. Because it's better to be proactive and to take action than to be sorry later. All marriages can benefit from some attention and improvements so it's better to just act "as if" rather than being blindsided later. Getting him committed to the marriage again is harder the longer you let your problems fester. And, the more that intimacy and affection erode, the harder it is to get them back in the end. So, in the following article, I'll share the list that I often give readers who suspect that their husband wants out, hoping that you'll take immediate action if you've seen any of these or if your intuition is telling you that something just isn't right.
Your Husband May Be Telling You (Or Is At Least Hinting) That He Doesn't Want To Be Married Anymore. Are You Listening?: I often get emails from wives whose husbands have just told them that they want out or who have just filed divorce papers and they are blindsided. They didn't see this coming at all. Often, when I ask if they noticed any warning signs or any distance from the husband, they'll respond with things like "well, he only said that he wasn't happy, but I didn't expect this," or "he has told me that sometimes he wonders if we're better off apart, but I didn't expect him to act on it."
The truth is, it's very painful to think that your husband is not happy with your or the marriage. It feels so much better to hope that if we ignore it, it will go away. I know this first hand because I made this same mistake. It's always better to act on these phrases though. It can't hurt to give your marriage and your husband more of your attention. In fact, it can only help you. But, it has to be the right kind of attention given out in the right way.
And, sometimes you have to read between the lines. Because often a man will throw out general phrases ( "I guess the excitement can't help but wane after you've been together for a while,") meant to spare your feelings in the hopes that you will get enough of the hidden message ("I no longer feel close to you and am no longer enjoying being married.") to act on it. Often, the messages have been either said or implied, but either he doesn't say it forcefully or clearly enough, or we're not exactly listening as a means of self preservation.
He's Distant Either Emotionally Or Physically: Often, one of the first signs that a husband is thinking about no longer remaining married is that he either consciously or unconsciously decides to "try out" being on his own. So, he'll spend more time away from your and with his friends or he'll no longer ask you to come along with him. He's wondering if it's going to feel better to be alone than with you. And, he's slowly trying this out. Sometimes, this happens literally. He'll make excuses not to be home as much and you'll just physically see less of him.
Or, sometimes, he'll begin this process emotionally. You'll notice that he isn't listening when you speak or he doesn't really jump up to help you or offer his attention or support the way that he once did. You'll get the vibe that it's now "every man (or woman) for himself" or maybe you'll start to feel like he's thinking in terms of "I" rather than in terms of "we." It's often a shift that you feel rather than see. Maybe you can't exactly put your finger on it but it troubles you. And it can start to feel like you're living more as room mates than as a bonded, intimate married couple.
You'll likely also begin to notice that the spontaneous, intimate gestures are no longer there (the grab for your hand, the rub of your shoulders, the bringing his hands across your cheek.) Admittedly, no one expects couples married for a long time to no longer be able to keep their hands off one another, but people who are still committed and on board do these things as least some of the time.
Sometimes, you'll also see a drop off in intimacy and sex. Often, the frequency lessens as does the intensity. You feel that he's just going through the motions and isn't really into it. Sometimes, the opposite happens. You'll notice he wants to try new things or he's trying very hard to see if you can get the spark to relight.
He May Start Living His Life (And Managing His Affairs) Separately From You: Another thing that you may start to see if your husband is doubting whether he wants to remain married is he begins to get his own email, snail mail, his own credit card, and / or his own bank account and he may encourage you to do the same. (Sometimes he will try to hide this at first.) Sometimes he'll try to make logical excuses for this and sometimes he won't. Often, a man will try to ease into living his life separately before he actually tells you that he's going to cut the cord.
Or, he may stop consulting with you on important decisions. He's trying to feel out living and being on his own so he's going to run decisions that are important to him by you much less because he isn't sure if you're going to be part of his future and he questions if he needs to do this any longer. He may encourage you to become more independent so that he doesn't have to feel guilty or wonder if you can make it on your own when he decides to separate from you.
Your Husband May Be Telling You (Or Is At Least Hinting) That He Doesn't Want To Be Married Anymore. Are You Listening?: I often get emails from wives whose husbands have just told them that they want out or who have just filed divorce papers and they are blindsided. They didn't see this coming at all. Often, when I ask if they noticed any warning signs or any distance from the husband, they'll respond with things like "well, he only said that he wasn't happy, but I didn't expect this," or "he has told me that sometimes he wonders if we're better off apart, but I didn't expect him to act on it."
The truth is, it's very painful to think that your husband is not happy with your or the marriage. It feels so much better to hope that if we ignore it, it will go away. I know this first hand because I made this same mistake. It's always better to act on these phrases though. It can't hurt to give your marriage and your husband more of your attention. In fact, it can only help you. But, it has to be the right kind of attention given out in the right way.
And, sometimes you have to read between the lines. Because often a man will throw out general phrases ( "I guess the excitement can't help but wane after you've been together for a while,") meant to spare your feelings in the hopes that you will get enough of the hidden message ("I no longer feel close to you and am no longer enjoying being married.") to act on it. Often, the messages have been either said or implied, but either he doesn't say it forcefully or clearly enough, or we're not exactly listening as a means of self preservation.
He's Distant Either Emotionally Or Physically: Often, one of the first signs that a husband is thinking about no longer remaining married is that he either consciously or unconsciously decides to "try out" being on his own. So, he'll spend more time away from your and with his friends or he'll no longer ask you to come along with him. He's wondering if it's going to feel better to be alone than with you. And, he's slowly trying this out. Sometimes, this happens literally. He'll make excuses not to be home as much and you'll just physically see less of him.
Or, sometimes, he'll begin this process emotionally. You'll notice that he isn't listening when you speak or he doesn't really jump up to help you or offer his attention or support the way that he once did. You'll get the vibe that it's now "every man (or woman) for himself" or maybe you'll start to feel like he's thinking in terms of "I" rather than in terms of "we." It's often a shift that you feel rather than see. Maybe you can't exactly put your finger on it but it troubles you. And it can start to feel like you're living more as room mates than as a bonded, intimate married couple.
You'll likely also begin to notice that the spontaneous, intimate gestures are no longer there (the grab for your hand, the rub of your shoulders, the bringing his hands across your cheek.) Admittedly, no one expects couples married for a long time to no longer be able to keep their hands off one another, but people who are still committed and on board do these things as least some of the time.
Sometimes, you'll also see a drop off in intimacy and sex. Often, the frequency lessens as does the intensity. You feel that he's just going through the motions and isn't really into it. Sometimes, the opposite happens. You'll notice he wants to try new things or he's trying very hard to see if you can get the spark to relight.
He May Start Living His Life (And Managing His Affairs) Separately From You: Another thing that you may start to see if your husband is doubting whether he wants to remain married is he begins to get his own email, snail mail, his own credit card, and / or his own bank account and he may encourage you to do the same. (Sometimes he will try to hide this at first.) Sometimes he'll try to make logical excuses for this and sometimes he won't. Often, a man will try to ease into living his life separately before he actually tells you that he's going to cut the cord.
Or, he may stop consulting with you on important decisions. He's trying to feel out living and being on his own so he's going to run decisions that are important to him by you much less because he isn't sure if you're going to be part of his future and he questions if he needs to do this any longer. He may encourage you to become more independent so that he doesn't have to feel guilty or wonder if you can make it on your own when he decides to separate from you.
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