Tuesday, April 26, 2011

5 Marriage Tips To Save A Marriage You Want Saved by Howard Coffey

These 5 tips will save your marriage if you want your marriage to be saved.

Tip 1: identify the problem. What has happened to your marriage? Has it become dull and mundane? Does your partner feel neglected because of your career? Are finances an issue? Does it seem that your partner is always working, spending all the time in a career and giving you no attention? The problem could be any number of things, but you must first identify the problem.

If you want your marriage to be saved, here is marriage tip
number 2 to help you save it. Begin open communication about the problem. Many times little problems have been ignored. Usually, the major problems can be overcome while the little ones eat away at one partner. Soon, however, the little problems pile up, and a break in the relationship occurs. Therefore, you must have serious discussions about the things that disturb both parties.

Yes, these discussions can be hurtful. So try to use language such as, "Here's how I feel..." rather than, "Here's how you make me feel..." or "Lately, I feel so alone and neglected..." Try to avoid placing blame on the other partner by saying, "You have quit caring about me and all you care about is your job!" Both methods get the point across, but try to use the language that avoids directly saying it is your fault that I feel this way.

Marriage Tip 3: Make time for each other! As a marriage develops into a few years, both partners begin to take each other for granted. Daily routine causes one partner or both to develop certain habits. Gone are the kind words, the dates, the helpful attitude or the touches and innuendos leading up to a wonderful experience later in bed. All these things including sex take a back seat to other priorities.

Suddenly, you feel left out of the others life. You feel ignored and used. Your marriage isn't fun anymore, and at times the man or woman in the office next to yours begins to look so much more exciting than the one you have at home. To make sure this doesn't happen, take the time to court each other. Make dates, do all the work around the house together because you want to be near the other. And while you are working together, begin to touch and pet while doing these chores or watching TV. A good idea is to block out some time in your schedule each month to spend together-all day, no interruptions.

Marriage Tip 4: Look for free counseling. It doesn't matter if you have the money to pay for the best counselor, try to find a pastor near you to help. Don't worry about the religious aspect. You don't have to buy into his church or religion. The pastor will give you excellent tips that you can begin using to save your relationship. If after a couple sessions you find he isn't the answer, find another pastor. There's a church on nearly every corner.

Marriage Tip 5: Find two good books on marriage relationships. You can find these at your local bookstore or online. However, both of you need to agree to read them. Don't try to identify the other partner's bad traits in the books; however, look for solutions to the problems you identified in Tip 1. You'll be amazed at how much information has been written about your marriage problems.

Try these marriage tips to save a marriage you want saved. Believe me, they will work for you. Notice, however, the qualifying phrase, "you want saved." One partner must want the marriage to continue. That partner will have to give the most. The truth in marriage lies in both partners being committed to give 100 percent to it. When both of you get to the 100% level, marriage will be the best thing that has ever happened to you. I know because I've been married 45 years to the same childhood sweetheart!

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